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I too have ebbs and flows. I've been trying to bring constancy in any area that I can: exercise, healthy food, sleep and positive social interaction. I know all that is a tall order and can't necessarily be done at once but I've also noticed that any time I can get a hold of any of the...

I get enraged too.

I'm sorry, I was harsh.

Yes, insanity is personal. He's gone. But you're not alone, there are others who have experienced it too. Please stay.

It's not you. One of the things about trauma is that you don't have any control. Shit happens, people harm you, your friends are hurt. Protect your self and step off. Don't try to control him.

I guess what I am trying to say is that he may be protecting you from an outcome that could be far worse.

Thank you all. I haven't figured out the site enough to respond individually.

All I can say is that the circumstances that lead to the disorder seem to traumatize/alienate those who have not gone through the kind of situations that lead to it. Basically there are things that I cannot talk to others about unless they too have been there. Not only have I been through...

Ghostbear, Solara. Thank you.

I am already a monster. I've been arrested and institutionalized for being violent, unfortunately the ones who deserved it didn't get it just bystanders and me. Flashbacks.

I'm awful and I'm sorry. Sometimes I want vengeance more than healing. I don't know how to be here.

Hi! I'm new too.