Memories

[vmshields]

Just found out another friend died in Afghanistan. He died in 2010 when we were both deployed. We were with different units. I just found out today 3 years later. It brings everything back up feelings I have been trying to stuff feelings I uave been hiding from. The visions are not something I want to relive but its something that never seems to leave I just hide them well and put on a normal face for society so I wont be outcasted. My life my visions my insanity.

 

[winterose]

Sorry for your loss, vm. That stinks royally you just found out. I wish you strength for today. And maybe someone to talk too if you need to.

 

[WillyKat]

That putting on a normal face sucks too. Somehow, this culture values a constant level of happiness that's very difficult for some of us to ever achieve, let alone maintain every day. It really does set us apart.

But it's not insanity vm; it's normal. As George Carlin said: "I'm not crazy, they are."

 

[arfie]

I have run across 3 continents trying to outrun memories. Alas... I think I may JUST have to learn to sit peacefully with them. Kinda like sitting peacefully in a cesspool, but I am not seeing a choice... Compost happens?

I no longer think of the "mask" as artifice I put on for the sake of fitting in. These days it feels more like hopes of a few breaths outside the cesspool. Happens every so often...

Gentle hugs, VM. Sorry for your loss.

 

[keifer]

If your insane so am I. I dont like those either and I guess I'm lucky I dont get them often. I too hide. It's not easy to hide all day in uniform and have energy when I get home. I called in sick today. I wish the pain would go away.

 

[anticfox]

Yes, insanity is personal. He's gone. But you're not alone, there are others who have experienced it too. Please stay.

 

[anticfox]

I'm sorry, I was harsh.

 

[keifer]

I've read the things you are experiencing now with PTSD and they all ring home sometimes so close, I can't respond. I know I'm not alone, but it sure feels like it at times. Please feel free to write.

 

[StrongHeart]

Two things. First, these memories can be controlled with help, and if your local VA hospital or center has services you can access, please consider this. Second, your emotions are not over the top or inappropriate - they are very real responses to very real horrific experiences. I am sending out warm feelings of love and acceptance to all of you.