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That's how I learned to set up an imagery pathway that could always take me to my sub-conscious for answers and where I was able to meet and talk to my inner child. It was done by someone professional though who knew how to create a safe environment and the right kinds of positive images in...

It has really helped me access what you are asking about your inner child. I rarely do it ever at the moment because I'm in functioning and reaching for goals mode and don't want to destabilize. I met a couple of New Age healers in the 90's, the guy was a clinical psych as well and his female...

RussH, have you ever done guided imagery to access your subconscious?

Yeah, I think that's exactly what it is. Everything that is less than 100 percent nurturing at that stage of development is experienced as traumatic and life threatening. So then too, does asking for what you need. Double Bind.

I really feel your pain Springer80, it's amazing what human beings are capable of surviving:hug:, isn't it?

Hi RussH, great thread. The first time I met my inner child was in a guided visualization and she was somewhere around 5-6. That's the first impression so it tends to stick with me and I trust it. Heaps happened to me at this age, so it makes total sense that my subconscious defines my child...

I absolutely agree with Justmehere, I would find photos triggering, even the happy ones. They just stand in the shadow of the vault of unhappy memories. The little smile I see, represents the brave face I put on to the world. I also agree with Springer80 that just because your T suggests...

I agree on how hard it is to transfer the head knowledge into an actual grasp of it being our/my personal reality. It seems to dawn on me in smaller increments after I take in some new knowledge or insight from therapy. That's all I can seem to manage. I have read Hope Edleman's first book in...

Well done Jane! :)

Hi Scaredsilly, I'm really hearing everything you are saying above. What strikes me is that you seem to be convincing yourself that you have to wear a mask all the time in this situation with everyone and I'm glad that you can, at least here, not have to do that all the time. Wearing a mask is...

Scaredsilly, am I right in interpreting what you said as that, you are keeping your fears and anxieties hidden from your friend and 'not showing weakness' and that you are reaching out here for support so that you can not stress her?

Yeah, you and me both Scout86, thanks for replying, the word love is just a word to me. A word related to something I give, I think. It's a bizarre revelation to realize that for the first time and shows me that I've been walking around in a fog of denial. The only trauma diary I have read is...

Thankyou Hope4Now, I think I'm afraid to feel that compassion maybe, in case I get overwhelmed with grief or something? I also don't know very well, how to soothe myself when I allow that state of total abandonment I came out of my childhood with. I think you really hit the nail, saying that...

Oh Scaredsilly, if only every trauma survivor had a great friend like you. All I can suggest is maybe sending her a card or a note to say that you understand she needs her space, that still love her and be there for her when she is ready. For some reason she doesn't want the face to face...

The pattern with abusers and often they are narcissists and sometimes even psychopaths, is Idealize, Devalue, Discard. They can create an impression of being Mr Wonderful at first, which is how we get sucked in. Narcissists need relationships with highly empathetic people (us) in order to...

Yesterday, I went to couples counselling for the first time together with my partner. The male T asked us both 'how do we like to give love?' and then after that 'how do we like to receive love?' I had no trouble explaining how I like to give love but was almost totally stumped when I tried to...

I absolutely agree with what FridayJones and Gizmo are suggesting. It's really great that your friend has two such supportive friends in his life and he obviously needs that support but he also has to learn to get what he needs in a way that is healthier for his own sense of autonomy. You guys...

FabulousEnding, your post reads like a big part of my lifestory. Cleaning, starving and controlling parents/people who are untrustworthy. What I've learned is that one day we wake up and realize that we have recreated our childhood scenario with the people we are now partnered to. I did it too...

NovemberStar, all that you have described on this post is huge. Losing your Mother in those circumstances at 10 is such a profound loss and shock. It's totally understandable that you are feeling the way you are in relation to your T going away and I remember the earthquakes you are talking...

Well done Jane.I, I'm thinking of you too. Remember to breathe in and out, slowly and deeply when you are in the waiting room. You've done a great thing for yourself and your family. No matter what the outcome is, you are one step closer to health.:)

NovemberStar I just want to say that I follow you because I like your intelligence, honesty and insight. I'm glad you put the post up instead of trying to deal with what's happening in isolation. I don't want to offer you a solution because I know that you already know this will pass. Just...

Hi Muse, I can really relate to your experiences and thoughts about city life and so sorry that you were affected by what happened. I can drive through a big city and only in daylight, walking in a city at night, is really difficult for me and I avoid it altogether these days. Some television...

So true Barberian, I call all of it, the Cystem. I get unpredictable tremors too and heart palpitations and don't take any medication for it either. Like you, I'm learning to deal with it. I find deep slow breathing, in and out helps, then focusing on relaxing my shoulder and arms muscles...

For me, forgiveness is always possible when someone apologizes and is truly and obviously sorry for what they did and didn't do, then go about making sure they demonstrate their contrition and repairing the relationship. Without that, it's pointless.

Wow, that's a decent challenge you've set for yourself FabulousEnding, Standing Ovation to you for doing that in itself. I'm trying to imagine what I would feel in that situation and how I'd cope with that. What comes to mind was the time I was in a psych ward and didn't want to tell anyone...