I Need To Go To The Doctors But Keep Trying To Avoid

[Deleted member 1860]

I am sorry, and just wanted to let you know that I have issues in getting this sort of medical stuff done as well. I know its not easy! I need to find a new doctor. The GYN I went to last time treated me like dirt because I am on disability. Well, not the doctor herself, rather the support staff. I felt like the scum of the earth because they were so condescending toward me. I can't even talk about this kind of stuff, not even birth control, as it is so triggering, and they treat you like you are a whore if you are having sex and not married. Fortunately I have a diaphragm and can buy a replacement from overseas for a mere fraction of the cost of seeing a doctor and paying for it at the pharmacy here in the states. Just wish you could buy them over the counter here. Not sure why you can't! Yeah, just TALKING to the doctor about anything outside of my bi-yearly exam costs me $200.... And they say we don't need health care reform....SMH! It just sucks because clinics won't see me because I'm on medicare and medicare doesn't cover any sort of GYN care as its designed for people who are beyond their child bearing years. Smart, government, that's EXACTLY what you need, don't provide this sort of care to those who need it most and you just end up with even more people on benefits. Ridiculous. Sorry, end of tangent vent, carry on, carry on....

 

[Jane.l]

Thank you your support it is so helpful - I don't feel quite so alone - just got divorced - don't do family - but I have you lot - it helps
And all of you that haven't had your smear - be brave - do it ! This is scary coz I know it's bad !

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I understand being afraid. After I had my first child, I had major problems (different than yours). I knew the symptoms were serious, but I was scared to call (this was even before PTSD had hit me). Even when I did see doctors about it, I let them all convince me I was just having back pain from having a new (large) baby to lift and feed. I knew in my heart that wasn't it. It took about 4 months of agonizing pain and denial before I finally demanded tests that determined I needed surgery. You are not alone in your fear. I am glad you have a plan with your T even if you think it is not the best plan.

 

[Jane.l]

I made a doctors appt for tomorrow afternoon. Trying not to have a panic attack now !

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: @Jane.l

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I am very proud of you @Jane.l . One step down. Try to breathe and believe- I am not so good at that, but trying to remember to is always good.

 

[Jane.l]

Thanks - that's what I should be doing- but what I am actually doing is googling it and scarying myself stupid !

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@Jane.l - Yep, I know what that is like. I had a medical scare last year (different from the other one I mentioned) and I googled all the possibilities and scared myself. Finally, with my therapist's suggestions, I decided to write down every night what I was most afraid of, what I was grateful for, and what I was most hopeful for. Those kinds of things don't usually work for me, but this time it did. Thoughts are with you as you wait.

 

[Mystery]

Well done Jane.I, I'm thinking of you too. Remember to breathe in and out, slowly and deeply when you are in the waiting room. You've done a great thing for yourself and your family. No matter what the outcome is, you are one step closer to health.:)

 

[Jane.l]

@Mystery thank you for your support - the support from here made me find the strength to face it - just hope I can stay present and not have a panic attack - so yes good advice about being focused in the waiting room - will let you know what happens .

 

[Jane.l]

Thank you to everyone who posted it really made a difference .

 

[littlelostchild]

Good for you @Jane.l. Be kind to yourself tomorrow.