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I'm desperately trying to find ways of managing my anxiety and grounding me when I'm in that place where I'm consistently struggling with intense anxiety, fear and paranoia and constantly on the verge of (or in a state of) depersonalisation, derealisation or dissociation. I used to be able to...

Ok so yesterday's goals didn't go particularly great.....did 1/3.... 1. Cook a new meal for myself (that I have planned but have delayed doing for 5 days!) - Nope, chickened out and had to freeze the ingredients 2. Occupy myself and keep myself on a level while my boyfriend is out for the...

It's reassuring that other people feel similar to the way I feel. It's horrible isn't it. And it's almost harder knowing that you're being irrational and feeling badly towards someone who could well be innocent, and yet being seemingly unable to override the automatic response. I have a similar...

Thought I'd try this today... My goals for tomorrow (as it's nighttime here right now): 1. Cook a new meal for myself (that I have planned but have delayed doing for 5 days!) 2. Occupy myself and keep myself on a level while my boyfriend is out for the evening, without going hysterical. Both of...

@BlackbirdSinging - I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and everyone in the path. Some friends and family are based in the centre of its current path and I can only imagine how difficult it must be, especially preparing to evacuate. Best wishes. I'm feeling....Overwhelmed, Scared of...

A few days ago, I found out that someone I know has just started going out with a guy with the same name as the guy who I guess you/I might say abused me. (I don't know I can't say it - it's not really relevant anyway). It has somehow sent me into a downward spiral, but until today I had no idea...

@Rain that makes a lot of sense. I just now feel weirdly indifferent to it, and yet at the same time I'm struggling but don't know what with. I feel like I'm succeeding if I get up without going back to hiding under my pillows, or if I hold a conversation with someone, but there's no real reason...

Good emotions: hope, receiving care/love (not too much otherwise I get scared!), satisfaction in having achieved something (even small like going somewhere, or managing at home on my own for an hour)

Me too, but totally unconnected to trauma or anything, its related to something else. It feels very weird!

Ok so this is a bit weird....this week in therapy I started to very gingerly approach the topic of what happened. I don't know what prompted it (after 3 years of avoiding it except for very very vaguely referencing things linked to it). I suddenly just had a panic attack the day of therapy and...

Neediness - like needing anything at all, whether it is someone's comfort, physical support (like when my legs gave way half way home after starting to talk about my trauma this week and I had to get my boyfriend to come and walk me home), or needing food (that was the root of my years of...

@Miss_Basilisk I'm so sorry that you experienced that. I also feel relieved that I'm not the only one, much as I don't want other people to feel the same way because it's unpleasant. It can seem so strange to people outside of this to understand it somehow. I am still here (and it is still very...

Thank you all. It's so helpful to hear other people's experiences. This is similar to me - I didn't even realise anything was wrong until about a year after, and that was when I was seeing another guy and it was triggering flashbacks. Now, with my long-term boyfriend, stuff with him doesn't...

I've got this constant fear, "what if I'm making it all up?" Like, what if I'm lying to myself and for some reason want it to have happened? What if I don't actually experience flashbacks, what if I just think I do and actually I just want other people to comfort me/give me attention or...

I agree with @Friday - these things serve purposes somewhere along the line. It's just like our bodies don't know that it's not necessary right now, or it's not necessary to that extreme. Things like awareness and vigilance are useful, but hypervigilance is stressful/ uncomfortable/...

I'm relieved I'm not alone - although I'm sorry that it's tough for you too. Yeah it is really draining to find sound overwhelming in any way. Yeah that's a good point. Maybe that's why beeping gets me, it's like it's at a level and frequency that totally swamps my brain. See one thing I don't...

Recently I've been finding that more and more certain sounds make me furious or really upset and scared. They don't seem to be related to specific triggers or anything - it is more that I feel totally overwhelmed by it. Beeping makes me absolutely furious and I can't contain the anger. It has...

I never really thought about it properly....I knew I struggled with my mood and anxiety pre and during periods, but currently I'm struggling with PTSD symptoms massively and I don't think it's any coincidence that I'm on. I always did get tearful and irritable etc. normally and I struggled...

Recently, as I start falling asleep, I apparently start having full blown conversations and moving about. Each time it happens, my boyfriend has to try and calm me down - normally I'm stressed out in the situations. Sometimes they are related to what I'm feeling like in normal life, but I don't...

This makes so much sense. I do this with my dogs and sometimes I try to gradually get more okay with my boyfriend touching me of his own accord. I nearly always jump massively thanks to my exaggerated startle response, and it does upset him as he doesn't want to scare me, but I'm trying to stop...

I found a massive change as well. I was changed from extended release onto immediate release because it is cheaper for the pharmaceutical companies to provide (I am exempt from paying for my prescription meds - thank god or I'd be bankrupt). I didn't notice a difference in how well it tackled my...

Oh yes, definitely getting the fact it sucks!!! Royally! Not a truer word said! I also do the dissociation thing both intentionally and not. When it's intentional, I feel like I'm opting out of life for a bit and there's a sense of relief and calm. I also feel like I'm control of something...

I'm on it for psychosis at what was 700mg, but I'm now on 200mg a day because the side effects were too much. But I've been told I can use it at 25mg intervals on top for anxiety. I can't say how good it is as such because it is SO different for different people, especially with antipsychotics...

Yeah my T has said that to me. It puts me off going deeper into things because it's so painful but I know that running from it hasn't been working for the last 5 years so I've got to change it somehow. I'm now trying to get more in touch with feelings, rather than thinking about the details of...

Very well said @stp2012. Especially: I'm hoping for me that the really tough time I'm having at the moment signifies that I'm getting closer to being able to start properly processing and addressing the trauma, even if I may not want to do it.