Sensitive to certain noises but not always about volume

[-lemurlibs91-]

Recently I've been finding that more and more certain sounds make me furious or really upset and scared. They don't seem to be related to specific triggers or anything - it is more that I feel totally overwhelmed by it.
Beeping makes me absolutely furious and I can't contain the anger. It has always made me angry. I don't know why. But now lots more noises are making me angry or upset, to the point of tears, sitting with my hands over my ears.
I also jump ridiculously at sudden noises - but I've become accustomed to that.

But the weird thing is, I've read about people being sensitive to loud noises, but somehow one of the few things that helps me with feeling overwhelmed or really distressed is putting noise cancelling headphones on and playing REALLY loud music.

Is this anything to do with PTSD? Or is it something else??

Does anyone else have this? And any idea why sounds make me so angry or upset rather than just irritated?? It's making it even harder for me to just do things during the day. It's like I cycle between needing to be totally aware of everything "in case", which is my usual state...and then being too overwhelmed, with the only solution of blocking EVERYTHING out, as long as I know I'm locked in a room where no-one can surprise me or my partner can be watching my back for me along with the mirror I use on my desk to cover my back when I'm working.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sounds like PTSD to me. It's not just about volume, but pitch, tone, frequency, etc.

 

[anonymous]

I completely understand and relate to this, anything that connects or surrounded my trauma I am extremely sensitive to the volume of it. During and after my trauma any noise hurt my ears for years. Now, I can listen to really loud music, but children's noise of almost any level can overwhelm me. I've learned to try and contain it, but it is draining.

 

[-lemurlibs91-]

I'm relieved I'm not alone - although I'm sorry that it's tough for you too. Yeah it is really draining to find sound overwhelming in any way.

It's not just about volume, but pitch, tone, frequency, etc.

Yeah that's a good point. Maybe that's why beeping gets me, it's like it's at a level and frequency that totally swamps my brain.

See one thing I don't get - the noises that I'm sensitive to don't seem to have any relation to my trauma. In fact, I can't deal with silence because of trauma. So it's like I have to replace all noises with one that I have chosen and is really loud.
Does it make sense that I calm down the louder my music gets?
I guess I do that with other things too sometimes, like if I heat up something to ease pain or to comfort me, I have to heat it up really hot and that calms me down. Or I do the same with a hot shower. I don't think it's for self harm...it's more like it calms me? Things that are in the middle don't seem to help when I'm upset.
And also it's as if the noises are hurting my mind rather than my ears? I don't think that even makes any sense....

 

[Cannottakethis]

I totally relate to what you're saying about pitch and tone as opposed to volume. I hate loud noises of any kind but certain noises...screechy whiny, higher noises are upsetting and hurt my ears. I get angry at wherever the sound is originating from. None of them are ptsd triggered.
What I've found out is that I have hearing loss and my ears are especially sensitive to those high pitch noises. I'd encourage you, if possible, to get your hearing checked and see if it might be related to that too.

 

[shimmerz]

the noises that I'm sensitive to don't seem to have any relation to my trauma.

I think this might be because it may not be so much about the noises themselves but rather the feeling those noises bring up in you.

I think you said it well here:

it is more that I feel totally overwhelmed by it.

Your senses may be being overwhelmed by sudden noises, or sharp noises, or noises behind, and to the left of you for example.

 

[Julia426]

I used to have hyperacusis--sensitivity to sound. It was brought on by PTSD. It's better now, though it flares up on occasion.

While I was sensitive to all sounds in general, certain things I had a much lower tolerance for. The beeping I can relate to. I think it's because of the repetition. Repetitive sounds, or loud noises that would lull and rise, and go on and on--it drove me crazy. Yelling, while the decibel-level may not be particularly high, always sounds much louder to me than it really is. Hyper-vigilance heightens your senses. It would make sense for high-pitched, grating noises to bother you more.

Every once in a while, in a loud public setting, I my head starts to spin because of all the noise. My hearing can't "focus," if that makes sense. When this starts to happen, I just zone out for a bit and try not to focus on the individual sounds, but instead, the collective background chatter as a single sound.

 

[Friday]

I have a few noise things.

- Obvious Triggers ('Nuff said)

- Stressors (ditto)

- Stresses ... Okay, technically that's the same as a stressor, but I'm differentiating purely because they don't have to be related to trauma, they just happen to fill my stress cup. And -much like the toilet paper roll being on backwards- kapow! If? My stress levels are already at capacity.

- Hypervig ... One of the ways that my hypervig acts up is with sound. I become extremely sensitive to sound in a whole lot of different ways. From a single fork going in the silverware drawer sounding as if someone just crashed cymbals together (quiet things are thunderously loud); to -seeming to- being able to hear each individual rain drop :banghead: like trying to keep track of 10 kids on a playground, it's f*cking exhausting with my attention demanded, and then scattered. Especially as I don't give a f*ck about the rain! Brain! Stop attaching life and death level important to each f*cking rain drop! ; to a whole bunch of other stuff, really. Useful skill when knowing that a twig snapping or a piece of gravel shifting is the footstep of someone trying to kill me, knowing it's exact location & disposition, and being able to hear it over all the other ambient noise that would otherwise drown it out (brains are amazing, aren't they? We GET all that sensory info all the time, and our brains just categorize it as not important!). Except when my hypervig is acting up. Then my brain is tagging all sorts of things (including sounds) as PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! LIFE OR DEATH!!! EMERGENCY!!! IMPORTANT!!! f*ck. It's not, brain. It's silverware, rain, the fridge pretending it's a bomb to feel more important. Nothing. To. Care. About. Stop it! Stop it now!

- Startling ... I'm not a fan of surprises. Good or bad, surprises drop kick my anxiety levels into the stratosphere. Which just sucks. And all my other symptoms start ramping up in response to the rising anxiety. The volume doesn't matter, my reaction to being startled does.

- Human ... This falls under the category that certain sounds are hard wired into our systems to be extremely intolerable. The strongest of which is the exact decibel/pitch/tone/frequency/etc. (I may be missing &/or repeating a few things, there) of a human baby's crying. No lie. Pure science. We can't stand that as a species. Doesn't matter whether you love kids or hate them or couldn't care one way or the other. Safety products & torturers both use this little bit of science to provoke their victims. Sirens, alerts, klaxons, etc. are modernly almost all deliberately designed to be in that range. Nothing but nothing will get a human being's attention faster than a crying baby. Or a sound scientifically engineered to exist in that range. Even a 1/5th of a second beep, although most last for longer. (Ever wondered why people are almost curled up into balls as they try to shut off a fire alarm? But we're rocking out in bliss to music far louder before it went off? Or why parents of new babies break out into flop sweats and have massive anxiety attacks when they can't soothe their baby? That's why. We -as a species- reeeeeally cannot tolerate a certain range of sound. Creates a series of physiological MAKE IT STOP! reactions. Good for gettings needs met. Bad for calm.)

- A few other things... But this is already novel length ;) And the above ones most relate to what you described.