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@Twisted_Trinity Well put. I couldn't have said it better. I am learning about Codependency because I have always felt that way. Living for others is a family tradition among the women of my birth family... and it is a long hard road to breaking that tradition. But it CAN be done. Living for...

@hurtingbadly I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Do you have any friends or family that can help you to cope? Just someone to talk to at all? Watching TV is a big time passer, and when it is gone... music helps, but human interaction might help along with the music. I have not been...

@Cashew So, I have been hearing about this 'body memory' concept a lot. I get sensations sometimes - but cannot make sense of them. Is that what you are referring to? When I am triggered by the things mentioned in my initial posting, there is a physical sensation of tingling and burning -...

I have had several instances of a strong physical reaction to a specific color/shade of green (I literally HAVE to get out of the room or area where the color is - I cannot stay), a panic driven reaction (panic attack and fighting to get away from) - to the feel and smell of a leather jacket...

@Ms Spock -- Thank you. I will look into these. Hope you are doing okay today. :) Each day is its own adventure isn't it?

Wow. I thought I was really over playing my symptoms when the mental health facility diagnosed me with complex ptsd. I was so wrong. Everything you guys are describing, the emotional exhaustion, feeling like you are helplessly watching yourself procrastinate, avoid and sleep just to keep from...

@36YearVictim I'm sorry for the pain and anguish you have had to endure for so long. It is hard when you look back over a life and wonder how it happened all around you, but you didn't seem to 'see' it coming. In my situation, I too was 'the bad guy' for making things known. Also it was...

Funny you should mention abuse -- My abusive husband died suddenly of a massive heart attack (type A personality)... I had a bonfire. Burned most everything. Thought it would be therapeutic. The kids kept some things that they wanted (photos, mementos) but everything tying me to him is gone. I...

I am definitely clingy. Varying stages though. Sometimes a vine... sometimes a pitbull. It can be annoying for the significant other, but sometimes the pitbull thing saves our relationship. I would say there is no perfect answer. Everyone has issues... some try to push others away... some try...

Yeah, about the therapist/counselor thing. I don't have one. No coverage for mental health and have bare bones coverage through Obama care. Never used it... only have it to avoid the fines that I can't afford to pay... so I am on my own for this.

Over the years, there has been a certain type of individual that sets me off and I do show anger then... but in a very restrained way. Only once have I lost control and it was on my abusive husband. I just let loose verbally. I didn't hit or hurt anyone or break anything. Just threw clothing and...

Junebug, Hi. How long have you been unable to express your anger? I am in my mid fifties and it has been since my teens, I think. Maybe before, but there's so much I can't remember at all.

Thank you for sharing your experience ladee. I often worry about it escalating as you described. Especially since it seems to be more difficult to manage when I am tired or stressed. My feelings tend to burst out before I can get them under wraps... I don't like that at all. It is not healthy...

Does anyone feel like they don't ever have a right to express anger? That giving into it is 'bad' and when it happens there is just an overwhelming feeling of wanting to rid yourself of it? Things that make most people livid, just roll off because I feel like I have NO right to get mad. Everyone...

Thank you for the warm welcome. I hope to be able to help give support as much as I can get it here... there are so many people who have been through so many bad experiences. But then maybe it will help us to be able to understand each other better.

Sometime last year I was diagnosed with PTSD she said it was of the complex nature. There was some therapy, but financially it couldn't last long. Often, it it very difficult to express myself verbally. It has created much strife in life over the years. As a very young child, I was wide-eyed and...