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So......... I consider myself at an advantage because I recognize I have a problem. I recognize that PTSD has damaged me. I am about to face a board of members that evaluate the seriousness of issues, I’m tired of having to validate and justify my exposure to trauma because I was just a meagre...

Awww I’m sorry it didn’t turn out the way you planned. Glad you survived the virus and North York! LoL If you’re looking at St. Catherine’s, try searching out either Port Dalhousie or Niagara on the Lake. You’ll find far better experiences as both are small but really nice quaint towns...

I never forget! How did your trip to Toronto go my friend? Was it ok? Did you wind up trying some of my location suggestions @somerandomguy ?

Hiya Eve :) Long time no see! I find that the PTSD has made me wary of others, I have always been the personality to want and yearn for a romantic and loving connection. Now, I absolutely despise the company of others. I would prefer to be holed up in a dingy little room by myself where I...

I’m still alive and kicking..... I had to back away from posting so much at the time. While it’s one thing to confront your demons, sometimes talking about it too much makes the demons a happy home inside your head. @KwanYingirl - I am very sorry you had to endure that scenario. A lot of...

I know there are different branches in the police department, I’m not sure which you served. I know many LEO’s had specialities that found private security firms (non security guard) for consulting purposes in a corporate or private capacity. While I am knee deep in my battle now. I have talked...

The Hail Mary bottom of the 9th just occurred. WCB has put my case on review with extension with possibility for longer term approval. There was so much miscommunication between psychologist and WCB. WCB now agrees that the patient causing me physical injury and his resulting death are...

@DharmaGirl — I understand that fatigue of working with suicidals frequently, on the security team, I usually get handed patient watch duties which can last entire shifts. One of the heaviest recurring emotions I have is because I did walk down that path losing empathy, sympathy and overall...

@Supervixn — I’m actually not sure what gripes she has with me. I’ve given ample opportunities to discuss any negatives I bring to the relationship balance. I am well aware that I have quirks and traits that can be frustrating. Especially when I go into spells of withdrawal and isolation. I’m...

1900-0700 are my bright zone. It started when I was a kid always trying to break my previous record on how late I could stay up. Fast forward to today. At work everyone wanted day shifts, I was like.... Hell Yeah! Gimme the overnights!! I don’t even tackle day shifts. I’m afraid I’d blow up in...

@Freida - Thank you and gladly accepted Dispatch! ❤️

I think it’s more an item in the ‘Reasons I should go’ column that can healthy choices be changed over time with a more positive mindset. I’m a Pro / Con person. Fill the list and balance the importance. The things that seem unable to change are personality conflicts as @Friday mentioned in an...

For my girlfriend it’s a combination of the medication and poor eating habits. A lot of fast food, take out, fried foods and huge amounts of sugary sodas like Coke. All accompanied with minimal activity. I’m an active person, hiker, recreational rugby player (not recently due to injury) and...

@brokenEMT - Awww I feel you! I’m sorry that they’re trying to throw you into that. I had a job interview for something clerical. The interviewer asked if I had first aid / cpr - I responded with yup, well practiced with an 0-4 record. Can also sight out landing zone and prep for LifeFlight if I...

The fact that you said ‘eh’ makes me suspect that you’re in the similar East Coast region as me. I’m glad you’ve found your way to the forum. Mostly happy that you’ve found the strength to keep on trucking through. I know it’s must be impossibly strained with your family. Have you found...

Thank you to everyone who has responded I am going through the recent additions to the thread. It’s been a tough few days. I have had to flip my hat back to sufferer as I was dealt a new blow in regards to my case and have been focused on what options I have left before I am forced back to work...

The job hunt has been ongoing - the issue I have run into is transferability of skillsets. Nothing I have done in the last four years is relevant for a complete career change with sustainable income. It all looks really cool on resume and I would be an easy sweep for any hospital or medical...

No I won’t have access to therapy. That was part of the WCB claim which was officially killed today. I have private coverage but not enough for extensive visits. I had attempted these non-profit organizations because they do subsidize or cover therapy through contributions. My line of work...

It’s been an off couple of days. It’s hard enough to admit emotional vulnerability but even harder when you have to keep legitimizing your desire and need for help and having doors shut because you don’t fit into the professional criteria of First Responder. While the government agencies have...

@Mytime - Thank you for your personal account. Yeah that’s why I am so torn in this because I do know that I am equal contributor to our relationship failures and my sensitivity and approach needs thoughtful and careful. I totally understand how addictive and reactive behaviours take over in...

Absolutely! In my job (Cause of PTSD) I have always had to hold up without showing any signs of distress, panic or anxiety. I got pretty damn good at it. To a point that I can have panic attacks or extreme stress and not be aware of it until I sit down or lay down or worse case it just freezes...

@Friday - Thank you very much. That’s absolutey a fantastic read on the situation. I am looking at the potential future and 20 year mark and all the adversities that will arise and we already drowned at the 2 year mark. I am super happy her family stepped in to wrangle some of the more...

@DharmaGirl Still a fairly hostile response from you - given the rest of the responses from other posters can clearly see I’m pretty torn and trying to be thoughtful in not mismanaging her emotions. I’m flipping hats as sufferer and supporter personally and professionally. It’s not an easy...

I’m starting to really understand how my mind and daily experiences are connecting me to the fatigue of work. Every time I experience something in personal life, discuss topics, the DVD in my head rewinds to an experience in my workplace. You know, the movements ate not all bad. While sad, there...

@Hojay Thank you for such an insightful and thoughtful response. It’s been a long day. My girlfriends family had a ‘meeting’ With her today. They took the reins and stepped in. Her Dad contacted me early this morning as he was worried about her health among other things. (These are ongoing...