Feelings go numb, then what?

[EveHarrington]

Eve... I think you responded in a post a while back something akin to having just had a wildly fabulous orgasmic moment and you were feeling a bit of bliss?

How does this fit in with your 'always had a jaded relationship' with this bloke now?

I’ve never had an orgasm with anything but a toy.

I have no idea what you are referring to.

 

[blackemerald1]

I cannot be bothered finding your post now...

Why worry then? Whose permission do you need? When did this totally insensitive comment about sexually assaulting a woman happen and why did you not act immediately when he first said it?

 

[EveHarrington]

I cannot be bothered finding your post now...

Why worry then? Whose permission do you need? When did this totally insensitive comment about sexually assaulting a woman happen and why did you not act immediately when he first said it?

It was in front of his 12 year old daughter so the biggest reaction I had at the time was pulling away from him. I had no idea how to appropriately react in front of her.

It took two days for me to fully react as I always have delayed reactions, and OMG did he hear it from me. He said I made him feel like a child when I laid into him about what he said, and that I had no right to drag his daughter into it. News flash, HE dragged his daughter into it by making the comment in front of her. I told him that his comments are making her believe that she is just a piece of meat that is owned/used by men. And yes, I’d say it ALL again just to potentially change how she feels about herself for life, just so her own father will stop making sexual comments in front of her.

The numbness set in because I didn’t feel safe around someone who makes jokes about sexual assault.

A few days later while I’m still numbing out, and still feeling unsafe, he shows up at my house uninvited.

It just keeps on building.

The comment was about two weeks ago. Showing up at my house was about a week ago.

 

[blackemerald1]

It was in front of

Given that this is now a major factor in your relationship with him and you can see no point in taking the relationship forward - end it?

Idk Eve. Are you wanting to justify ending a relationship that you are saying you are not particularly invested in anyway?

Does there have to be a huge unsolvable problem with him?? Does he have to be a bad person?

numbness set in because I didn’t feel safe around someone who makes jokes about sexual assault.

This ^^ all really is something you need to discuss with your T. I was of the impression this relationship was going well but it seems it has become somewhat of a magic pudding now.

My last take on this - if he's not right for you Eve there doesn't have to be drama and you are not responsible for his daughter and what her father says in her company. You can object and you have. Now if that is what you are wanting to do... your feet should do the talking?? Idk... :hug:

 

[Ronin]

I repeatedly got triggered by him and now I am numb toward him. This is normal? I don’t think so.

Sounds you are blaming him for your own reactions, and your own disorder normal.
Which really is not normal, the blame. The reactions, quite are.
And that people would trigger others is also normal interaction stuff. Not just a relationship. Interaction as a whole. Others will say what we do not agree with, do not like, do not appreciate, or are triggered by. That happens.

Some of my old reactions regarding dissent are fairly extreme. Does it mean anyone disagreeing with me SHOULD get shot? A hellno. Because it is not applicable, because situations are different, because the audience is, because life rolls different. Me being stuck in any of the old reacting? Is up to me to change, and solely me.

Expecting others to react positively to your every whim, and to NEVER trigger you and say wrong etc, and to right every of those missteps is a wee tad controling. And not a responsibility of other people. Yours, or ours, as sufferers.

 

[EveHarrington]

Wow ok, this thread has run its course because multiple people are putting words in my mouth and making references to things in other threads that I never said.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hate..anger..etc

#21?

 

[FragileGlass]

Hiya Eve :) Long time no see!

I find that the PTSD has made me wary of others, I have always been the personality to want and yearn for a romantic and loving connection.

Now, I absolutely despise the company of others. I would prefer to be holed up in a dingy little room by myself where I answer to no one but myself. But, I still miss that personal connection.

The numbing feeling is frustrating. Our experiences are obviously different. I know yours is more ‘personal’. Where people have emotions, I should but don’t. When others don’t have emotions, I do.

While it may be the PTSD kicking in, you still have an internal compass that says yes or no. Something is pulling you to the discomfort, don’t feel bad. There’s something there raising flags. Whether it’s right or wrong doesn’t matter, you need to be ok at the end of the day.