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I have taken a huge step back from this forum since my sufferer and I stopped talking 10 months ago. I made the decision to stop playing the push away, pull me in again game after years and years of the back and forth. I have been completely heartbroken because of it but have also felt so...

@Rosanne To me, it sounds like you know what you want to do, but would like some support in that decision and to be told that it will all be okay if you follow through with that decision. So, I want you to know that no matter which way you decide to go, it's going to be okay -- you are going...

I'd say that if you are excited about the opportunity, see real value in taking the position and feel that it would help you in reaching the goals you have in your life, then take the step towards the position. If he isn't willing to support you in that for whatever his reasons may be (not...

@dimplesg520 - I very much relate to what you said... feeling selfish for taking care of myself is something I very often face, despite knowing that it's anything but selfish. We as caretakers have a skewed outlook -- if someone were treating your man the way that he treats you at times, I am...

@dimplesg520 You are definitely not alone here - so glad you reached out. I too was (and still am in many ways) the girl who doesn't take crap from people. So I too was (and still am) taken aback every single time I see how much I put up day in and day out from this one single person in my...

@nz16 -- I wish I could say I'm truly letting go. I thought I was. I sometimes still think I am. But then nights like tonight come where I go right back to square one. I decided to reach out to him... Just via text.I haven't heard anything back, but I can't say that is not expected. His being...

Wow. Moving on. So real. So relevant. So hard. So necessary. I come back to this place re-reading what I wrote only a couple of months ago... and I see how ready I was to make the shift... and now the shift has occurred. I put myself first -- said what I needed to say to him... even when he...

You should be VERY proud of yourself! Way to go. Keep on the positive path :) All the best.

Self awareness is everything. When you are aware, you recognize the fact that you are in fact able to make a choice. Some choose the path of going with that first instinct of what has been engrained in them (continuing the abuse cycle) and others, such as yourself, choose to resist it and break...

Welcome :) I wanted to express that you are not a drama queen/attention seeker and that you are not weak as you stated in your initial post. I understand that it can feel like that especially when being dismissed by those closest to us - family and friends, but I felt it was important for me...

Hi Stephen - Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you're here and reaching out for some support. Do you have additional support locally such as a therapist? I see that you are getting treatment for your addiction and I commend you on that. It takes a lot of courage and strength. Relationships are...

@Kacee... hmm... that is a very interesting thought. I think at times I am in that same place where I feel like he's really gone and there's nothing left for me to do but move forward in my own life without him... to let go of the dreams of what could have been. I am at my very best during those...

Ugh. I know there is no real answer to this. But I just keep coming back to the question of... How do I let him go? My heart breaks when I think about it... Makes me sick to think about it REALLY being over. But I'm holding onto something that I don't know if I will ever really have. And when...

Hi Ky. I experience similar non-committing with my sufferer, so you aren't alone in it and it really can be very confusing. Its a tough spot to be in and I feel for you. With that said, I agree with the others that being cautious is important... To be careful not to allow him to use his PTSD as...

Brat17 -- I APPRECIATE your thoughts and opinions :) some real food for thought here. Our relationship has been on again off again for many years at different junctions of our lives. We both have communicated openly and freely and we both share our deepest parts of ourselves, but we have never...

So, my guy has started coming around again... well, not physically coming around but communicating almost every day with me for the past couple of weeks. It's been a while. I was doing so well without him, giving him space and time... moving forward in my life because I know that I cannot just...

Absolutely. In my experience, telling him I love him or that he is loved... It makes him shut down. He has told me he doesn't feel like he is worthy of that.... That he doesn't deserve it. So I am VERY cautious when I use those words and instead, choose to show him and make him FEEL loved rather...

Hi CateM! As you continue to read more and more on this forum, you will find that your situation is one that can be related to by many of us here. Coming here and expressing yourself is going to be a great resource for you -- I'm glad you're here and encourage you to continue reading (you will...

Reading this was like I was reading something I could have been writing myself. First and foremost -- congratulations on taking care of yourself, focusing on living your life and taking the necessary steps to not hold yourself back despite where your relationship is at the moment. While I have...

Okay... so I've been doing GREAT on an individual level lately... almost 6 months and going strong where the up and down roller coaster hasn't been kicking my ass.... just been on the upward slope and it' been wonderful and freeing. I've weened myself away from the hold that my guy (who is a...

My heart goes out to you Supporterofmygirl. As the others have mentioned, it's only you who will truly know when it's time to walk away. My advice is to follow her lead -- allow her the space she is desiring/needing right now. Continue to live your life and progress forward -- reaching out to...

I hear you - I also work in healthcare and I also find it easier to teach others than to take my own advice... but recently I've come truly in touch with the fact that I need to take my own advice if I ever want my circumstances to truly shift from where they've been. Ouch, it does really hurt...

Hi Whitley - Never stop writing him :) Deployments are incredibly difficult as you know and it sounds like your husband is having a really difficult time. He may be pushing you away in order to better cope but as his wife, as his supporter and as someone who loves him, don't back away from...

A.T. , Let me just start by saying, I'm glad you have found a place where you can express yourself and where there is a "community" of people who can relate to your circumstances. And while as you read more posts and find yourself relating to so many others in similar circumstances, I do also...

Hi IAmPatient - Reading your post, well -- I can say that in certain ways, I could have written the same thing myself. Having known him for years and coming to a place in time where you have a chance to explore further... being friends, but more than friends... being shut out, but hearing "I...