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This comes from a survivor. Whoever has the place of survivor in your life as supporter is fortunate indeed. I'd have loved it if my husband had even tried to recognize the struggles I dealt with as a survivior. Instead he blamed me for things that were my fault, were not my fault, were his...

Hi Fade.....I just saw your post today and read through the thread. You are behaving with incredible strength and I felt I had to tell you that. It's so easy to just keep beating yourself up for things that aren't your fault. If you want to spend a day in bed then I hope you will allow that for...

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spaghetti AND - THANK YOU!!!!! I've been trying to remember the name of the desert "eccles cakes" for eons!

@GWhizz I wanted to respond to the comment you made about the abuse you suffered at the hands of your father being your fault because you allowed it. My abuse matches yours in that it was done by our fathers. I think I wrestled harder with that issue (I allowed it so I have to take...

@Hooper It was definitely meant as a compliment - I could have used the word 'humble' instead. I'm (and I'm guessing everyone else is too) looking forward to hearing how the therapy goes. As for not seeing yourself as extraordinary in terms of being open to your feelings, that is exactly...

I use a software package called "Hotspot". You do have to pay but it's not expensive and it hides your ISP - you can set things up so it looks as though you're in a different country. It's also great for gaining access to Youtube videos, etc. that are restricted to the country of origin. It...

@Hooper Re therapy. I understand your personal choice not to delve all the way back into childhood experiences if you don't feel there's a need. But there are different kinds of therapy and some are meant to be short-term. Cognitive therapy is an example. You are quite self-effacing. Maybe you...

@Dana1010 Sorry the site wasn't to your liking. I haven't found her comments shallow in general at all - in fact, some good insights. But we're all different. As to figuring out why a psychopath would marry, I haven't even bothered asking the question because plenty do. They just don't feel...

@Hooper I read your post and all that followed - your further comments included. I'm a survivor and female - just so you know who's sharing with you. Although I agree with what almost everyone said, it strikes me that there is little here that's been offered to you around your pain. It's clear...

@Mallaky You are really impressive and doing a great job at centering yourself from the sound of it. I hope you give yourself credit for that. If you don't, do. There is something called "Binaural Beats". If you go to YouTube you'll find plenty to choose from to help with just about anything...

@Dana1010 For what it's worth, I wouldn't give a second thought to choosing a life as a psychopath. While there is a kind of freedom in it, it seems to me that mostly it's a freedom from a) guilt that would be appropriate and even helpful on-the-road-to-self-actualization (just check out all...

@Dana1010 There is a website that you may find quite helpful with your struggle. It's specifically about psychopaths and love and the author (who has also published some books on the subject) is respectful and insightful. Like here, there is a lot of inter-dialogue with others on the various...

@robotdaily If you are a victim of abuse, you need to do something you will find very difficult. You need to take an honest look at yourself. Because what you have done on this site is the same as what every abuser does - you are taking what was done to you and using it as permission to abuse...

@joeylittle Thanks for the help. I'm going to post this and see if it works....

You are very welcome. For me, even reading about accounts of abuse similar to what I experienced causes me to respond. I refuse to feel guilty about it anymore. I don't go looking for it but if I come across something I just remind myself about what I've learned and what I know.

I felt everything you've described when I met my little again all those years later. Like WildMermaid, I thought she was dead. She was soooo angry with me. I have to tell you - this is evidence that the hard work you've been doing is working. Little feels safe enough now to show herself and...

I agree with everyone here. I am angry on your behalf. I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm older, I've been in therapy a long time and have made a lot of progress so I feel like I've earned the right to have and to voice an educated opinion about this. This so-called doctor has caused...

I'm going to hazard a guess that @camabelu is referring to the post made by @Aprooster74. This is to joeylittle and mrsps - YES, my post was meant for Aprooster. I am having a heck of a time figuring out how to correctly reply to anyone. The only choices afforded me are "quote" or "+quote". I...

I'd be happy to help.

I can only suppose your intentions are good and that you mean to be helpful. Still, you'd do well to consider that people do not come here to be bullied and, like it or not, that's how your post comes across. It isn't that you're wrong. It is that you are powerfully unhelpful and even, perhaps...

I may be way off base here and the last thing I want to do is make you feel worse but it occurs to me that your feelings are strong because they're valid. You DID just experience loss. It was not anything you did wrong - it was about your T and not about you, but loss is loss. It sucks and it...

To theotherside: I meant to, and forgot, to comment on something you said in your first post - "at least I'm not crying...". I was a bank manager for many years and I'm female. Staff members sometimes came into my office - women, upset about something work-related or otherwise. Empathy always...