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Today I feel perplexed, confused and ignorant, as if I know nothing at all about anything, yet I feel quite blissful simultaneously.

I've been doing therapy for a short time and I've teared up but never full on cried. Yet, in couples therapy I cry every session.

I am a plethora of emotions today. I am very nervous since we are rapidly running out of money and I absolutely cannot work with my epilepsy right now. I'm hopeful my wife is going to get this job, she deserves it so much. I'm annoyed that everyone assumes about my ptsd and my epilepsy. I'm...

I'm calm today, relaxed, and tranquil. This doesn't happen often so I am also quite pleased.

Today I'm feeling nervous about my lack of finances. I'm feeling quite anxious and hyper vigilant as well.

Many many seizures this week, which triggers me which sets off my seizures. So I'm kind of in a catch 22 situation here. Missed couples therapy because of seizures. I feel like I'm losing my mind, I feel so alone yet everyone I care about is around me. As if I didn't have enough to deal with...

I feel like a caged lion ready to pounce.

Focused.

Heartbroken.

Coffee was good this morning. I also got 6 hours of continuous sleep :)

I'm in south OC. Love to do something.

Therapy yesterday, solo session. I opened up a lot. I really liked my therapist. I know it's gonna be a long road with tears, sadness, anger, pain and healing, it'll be tough but I'll come through it, I have to. I have a week worth of homework. Yesterday I had to talk to people and tell them...

I can't open up my floodgates Because the feeling just negates It burns like hell fire Place the thorns upon this liar

Therapy today first session. I didn't open up as I should of. But it was the first, I'm afraid to open up"

Yesterday was a very bad day. Today will be better. Boundaries were crossed last night that I don't like. This is gonna be a intense journey m, I hope I'm not wasting time, I hope people will notice they I'm literally doing the best I can right now. I hate emotions because I can't put them in a...

When you love seeing the sunset after not sleeping all night. When you know where all the entrances are in any building you're in. You always find yourself saying "I'm sorry I don't communicate well"

Feel like I'm gonna barf. My wife is sick too, she's drinking and cutting herself. I can't save everyone, I'm not superman, I'm not a knight, I'm just a human who is broken.

I feel dead, too weak to go on...

So my wife just told me it's over, unless I can begin to show her love. So we are just going to pretend to be together since we signed a year lease to live with her parents. I know I haven't been easy to love, I'm fact I have kind if wished everyone would hate me so I could just end it all...

Oh ok. Today is gonna be difficult to get through. I'm just not dealing with everything well. Ptsd, epilepsy, depression, anxiety, pain and just overalls feeling blah.

I understand my biological family doesn't believe I have ptsd, they think it's just because I'm a lesbian. My wife's family just doesn't understand and neither does she but at least they are there. And this website is a great resource.

That I have good friends, a good family and great online friends like you folks. Also that I got 5 hours of sleep last night.

My goals are to get through today without freaking out and falling over the edge. My goal is start therapy tomorrow and work through all this crap. To control my anger and not let the dragon come out and breathe fire on all that surrounds me.

Physically: I'm exhausted after 4 nights of nightmares, bad sleep and severe anxiety, I'm also sore from another seizure I had. Emotionally: I'm irritated, angry at my situation, I'm tired of my wife saying she feels I don't care or show her enough love, I feel worthless because now I am not...

An email I got from one of my aunts.... It was really hurtful.