What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[desiderata310]

Swimming up from the bottom of medicated induced stupor. Only way I could calm down last night. Feeling thick and slow. The remnant of last night's panic attack are still with me

 

[roaminggnome]

I woke up feeling better this morning. I realize now that I cannot diet. Too much stuff from the past resurfaces. So I'm going to eat healthy and exercise more to lose weight. I cannot go through another day where the past floods in because of a diet. There is too much going on with me physically and mentally while adjusting to current medication changes. I am down dosing off of Xanax and had my Cymbalta dosage doubled (all under my Dr.'s advice).

 

[Smidge]

Today I feel extremely emotional drained by all means, anxiety is through the roof, shaky, palms sweating, and vision is blurry.

All due to me thinking I could handle an evening out at a bonfire with friends Saturday night. Only the second time we left our son with someone since he was born 16 months ago. I have lost a lot of weight so this only ended up letting the ones who are not really true friends of mine to talk and chatter about me. She is different they say, she is clearly on drugs, and so on. Now I cant get myself together, I know I should not worry about there stupid comments but I cant help it. Clearly some people need educated about what PTSD is and how it effects people.

There is a document on here that is called understanding PTSD, I would like to post it on my Facebook page for those who would like to educate themselves. It is the only thing I can think of to make myself feel better and just maybe stop some of the chatter going on in our small town. Can someone please tell me if I am aloud to share the above mentioned document? I am new to this group and would not want to do anything wrong.

 

[KP the nut]

How am I feeling today? Well, this is the first time since my holiday to Florida that I have been on the Forum properly. It has been a roller coaster couple of weeks.

I am beginning to function more normally and take care of myself. My thoughts are all over the place. I hurt my knee on the last day of the holiday and had to be transported around airports in a wheelchair. It is still painful and I am going to see the doctor tomorrow.

What has really got to me is that my daughter was attacked last week on her way home from working a late shift. She was beaten and punched to the ground, thankfully she fought and screamed and an old couple living close by went out to her aid. I found out the next morning and hubby and I immediately went over to see her. She is a 3 hour drive away.

So how am I feeling, numb and as if everything is in slow motion.

 

[Shan-Nav01]

Feeling like I life could really do with a reset button.

 

[Lionheart]

I am tired because I didn't sleep well last night but I am happy as the arterial Doppler on my legs today, showed no signs of blockages and I have excellent blood pressure readings. Yay me!!! woot woot :woot::playful::joyful::laugh::giggle:

 

[Miss_Understood]

I'm calm today, relaxed, and tranquil. This doesn't happen often so I am also quite pleased.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am taking it easy today since I did not get proper sleep.

Thank you Dharmagirl for what you said to me. That made my day. Hugs.

 

[fly away home]

feeling wobbly.
feeling human.
feeling lonely.
feeling sad.

Yesterday my partner gave me a serve for smiling. I explained how hard it is to feel safe to express any sort of emotion and connect with him at all if I can't even smile without it being ctiticised.

feeling trapped and suffocated.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling scared and stuck.

I am understanding more how much I am in dissociation, depersonalisation and derealisation. I want to be present more than 20% of the day.

I want to go home.

I have terrible avoidance stuff happening. I focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else.

I am feel upset that I keep re enacting my trauma by rescuing people. Maybe I should not have done so much for B's Dad. Maybe I have interfered too much. I don't know the difference between rescuing people and being a responsible adult.

I feel like the next step in my healing process is insurmountable. I feel overwhelmed.

 

[desiderata310]

Vulnerable. Exposed.

Wasted 10 years of my life with someone who never loved me. Wasted another 5 with a psychopath who hurt me. Minimalised by both men.

Started crying at my son when we started talking about Dead Poet's Society because his dad and I had a conversation some 15 years ago when he told me I was stupid for liking it.

*sigh* dissapointed that my son saw me cry and heard me speak ill of his dad and then started to talk about the abuse from his stepdad before I caught myself. I should quit while I'm ahead.

 

[ninja]

Went for a walk tonight as the sun began to set. It was extremely icy and slippery (snow was groomed then melted then refroze). Needless to say, I was relieved when I hit pavement again!

I am a bit amused by the relevance of the slippery ice though, as that is how I feel emotionally: just want to get to the stable pavement. Lots of processing, I think.. Delicious tea is making me happy right now. :)