Feeling a bit wonky, and frazzled, after an unpleasant experience being hated online by a stranger. Feeling baffled that people will tell other people to go to hell without knowing anything about them or their experiences. A bit bemused that people think it's an insult to be called vermin, when rats and mice are actually really cool little critters. :) I feel anything but insulted by that.
Feeling forgiven right now? Feeling frightened, loss and sadness...grief. Not sure if it's mine? Missing my brothers...but not their behaviour. Feeling revolted...and revolting? Mentally exhausted...physically sluggish and a bit constricted around the solar plexus area. My neck is stiff on both sides, and my head feels too full of information and a bit jumbled.
I feel better now that I blocked the hater, and unwelcome there. I feel a bit unhappy...not in resistance to that right now. I feel unsure of where I stand on certain issues...like I'm on the fence but judging myself for being there and not being decided yet. I feel dumped on...but glad I have tools to deal with that and that I stood my ground and stood up to him.
I feel a little ridiculous for even engaging with him in the first place. Feeling judged and unfairly so. I feel belittled and sad that he has that much hate in him and would curse someone he doesn't even know to suffer in hell...not that I even believe in hell as a place we go to. I said "I've already been there a few times...been there, done that...what else you got?"
I feel betrayed, criticized. I survived it though. Being hated has more to do with the hater than it does with me. Only my opinion of myself really matters in the end. His opinion isn't important to me...he can think what he likes.
I didn't let his words hurt me...so I feel a sense of victory in that regard. Well, I did feel a tiny little pinch of hurt after about 10 minutes...but it didn't last long. I feel determined. My neck is stiff right now at the back to the left. Staying with that right now until it passes...ok, it's passing. Passed.
My eyes hurt and I want to eat something now. Feeling relaxed.