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Thanks guys. That's helpful stuff to consider. I've seen a really good trauma therapist for nearly 5 years, but thought I was ready to work very deliberately on my fear of men and felt like the boundaries of therapy were the only place I was at all willing to try any type of relationship with a...

Do you think any willing client can benefit from any competent therapist as long as they share common goals? Or does personality, gender, worldview, etc play a big enough role that even when a client and a therapist share the same goals and respect each other and are both willing... that...

I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. Maybe this can be an indicator to you and your T that it might be time to back off trauma processing and work on feeling safe, developing a strategy for next time you feel like that, and brainstorming ways to ask for help that you feel confident are...

Definitely can sympathize with this. One thing that has helped me us just having a handwritten note from my T saying that she likes me and isn't disgusted by me, even after all I've told her. It helps in those random panic moments when I suddenly feel like I'm drowning in shame when I realize...

This is SO true!! So many think that because they've had a few clients who disclosed trauma they have "experience". The truth is that's totally different from being attuned to it, knowledgeable about it, and skilled at helping people process it and recover from it. I have actually worked with...

@Suzetig So many things in this post sound familiar. I just wanted to encourage you that time and effort do pay off. It your desire is to get to a place of being more vulnerable, and she is competent and patient, it's going to work. Because you've been traumatized you don't attach and connect...

This is a really good reason to contact her. She's opened the door, she's invited you though it- and you have a really legit reason to need to go through that door. I hope you will. One of the most valuable things about being able to contact a T between sessions is clarifying stuff like this...

My T is out of town for a few weeks as well. Thankfully I have a great relationship still with my old T (who I stopped seeing due to a combo of logistics and wanting to work on something, for awhile, I needed a male T's help with) so was able to meet with her in the interim. It's been good to...

Ask yourself if you feel this way because you don't WANT to open it up, or because you are aware you legitimately aren't prepared for the consequences. If it's the latter, and you feel like to need to build a safer relationship with your T and learn more grounding/containment/coping skills, then...

I will check it out!

@Sarah2732, he actually said "letting go" not "letting him go" but it's sort of the same thing given my trauma and situations. .... . This guy just seems really against treating that and I feel like he's dancing around the issues. I'm so angry right now.. I just feel so invalidated. Whoops...

How "letting him go"!!?? Seriously! I do think starting with a new therapist when you have made some progress and have some self awareness is (extra) awkward and frustrating because they don't know what page you are on, but it sounds like this guy was not at all perceptive or sensitive or...

If you have a persistent, feeling that maybe you aren't getting what you need from your therapist, and it's not just a feeling you have after a bad session or when you feel misunderstood (doesn't sound like it) then it may be part of you KNOWS that you do need to try a new T. There's a saying...

Some great posts on here. Especially on asking your T to back of the trauma work and just spend time on building trust and safety. Also, I've been told it's a pandora's box... running away and shutting down sounds like a way to cope, but I've been told once the box is opened it can't really be...

Oh gosh, I've absolutely felt the same way. Definitely tell your T, honestly I found the discussions with my T surrounding those feelings (and lack of feelings) were really good, and really helped me understand some of my own attachment stuff in a new way. I'm not attracted to men either. When...

Not sure if you were just asking Gwhizz or just asking in general but my method at this point in recovery is "delay and distract" when I am feeling that way. Like, Sunday was bad for me so I made a to-do list full of things I needed to get done that day. so I spent a few hours painting and...

Yes to evenings and weekends. My guess is this has a LOT to do with private practice vs government funded. I'm sure there are therapists working in social services who would allow contact outside of office hours/sessions, but my guess is that paying $75-$100 cash, out of pocket, per session, for...

If you don't know where to start or how to start, a book or workbook might provide a structured starting point to prompt unstructured journalling. I bet your therapist could suggest a few, maybe you could even work your way through a book or workbook together in sessions.

I feel like the biggest advantage of communicating via text or email is that it's so much easier to "hold on" to their words. There have been a lot of times I wanted to text my T but just reading her old texts helped reassure me enough to not bother her. My main T wouldn't "do therapy" outside...

So difficult! But a huge step to be willing to try. @GWhizz For what it's worth (not that you should try this, but just to share what my experience bridging the gap from written communication to verbal was) I used to take something in that I wanted to try and read, spend like 25-30 minutes in...

I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now. You know you better than anyone, so if you can put on a brave face and compartmentalize through an 8 hour work day, do it. I understand being afraid how your T might respond, but if she gave you permission to text her anytime, you HAVE permission...

I think your T and you both handled that really well. It must have been really hard to stay for those 10 more minutes when you really wanted to go, but it seems like that would give you enough time to not be leaving on a particularly bad note, and not leave the office with the last memory made...

Maternal/parental transference and good, solid, healthy boundaries between client and therapist can absolutely be present at the same time. :)

It seems like this forum makes a big deal out of transference and makes resolving or getting rid of it a goal... IMO it's part of the processes, if the process is going well, and riding it out and just going with those feelings (in a healthy, realistic way) is part of healing. It's like getting...

Been following and thinking about this thread, I think my only contribution would be to say that I think it's impossible to see a therapist for "only one specific issue"- because our issues are so interwoven with our story- but I definitely think it's possible and a sign of health to see the...