Email Vs Calls Vs Text...

[digger]

There is SO much that is lost when you go from the spoken word to the written word,

For me, the opposite is true as I have extreme difficulties communicating verbally, but can express things a lot more coherently through writing. Writing enables progress with my T that we wouldn't otherwise have. She wouldn't have a fraction of the insight she has into my situation and feelings without it.

Having said that I have never had a conversation with her about email as an option although I can see times when it could be useful. I think I prefer to keep my communication with her contained within my sessions with her. If I was paying for the email sessions/communication as an extra or as an agreed part of our arrangement then that would feel different.

@xena21 what is it that is making you feel uncomfortable about it? I'm unclear as to whether she is expecting you to email between sessions, or if she is just putting it out there as an option for you? If you are uncomfortable with it though, contracts work both ways and you can say you don't want that.

 

[Pencil]

Some espouse therapy as being about increasing independence, and state the goal of therapy is to be able to quit therapy, but that's not a universal or immediate goal for everyone. It's a very personal journey, and somewhat different for each client/therapist pair.

Yes, indeed. And although I'm not in therapy the notion of being forced into 'independence' sends chills down my spine mainly due to my avoidant attachment style. And I think this point, that it is a personal journey that is unique between the client and the therapist, is important as nobody will know the rationale behind the decision by your T,
@xena21. My ex therapist responded to every text, email, call - although I saw her twice a week and did not go overboard with communication between sessions. Simply knowing that she was available was enormously helpful.

 

[Pencil]

Actually, as I writer, I find much is gained through print

I have extreme difficulties communicating verbally, but can express things a lot more coherently through writing.

I agree. Face-to-face oral communication is often too intense and too fast. Between sessions I often forgot what was said in-session and the therapist, who caught on first, usually asked me what I remembered and did a recap for me. This is not ideal.

We are all different, and our needs are diverse.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@xena21

Over the past 15 years I have had three therapists and many psychiatrists. When I lived in NH I had to go to this cattle house of providers and they must've paid them lousy wages because I had a different psychiatrist every few months. This is when I was the sickest from my chemical exposure and had to give up my career. It is also when I finally broke my silence about childhood sexual and physical/mental abuse. I was a MESS. Al was my therapist whose PhD dissertation was on male therapists experience with working with sexually traumatized women. People, let me just say that this man saved my life. I was able to page him if needed. Sometimes we did two face to face spots a week. He supported me while I reclaimed a vocational identity and guided my children through their college years.

I moved to Maine in 2003 and continued to drive to NH to seeAl. I couldn't bear losing him. Then I found myself in a very abusive relationship and took myself to the ER twice due to my suicidality. They put me in an intensive out patient program. Lots of DBT lessons and advice from a psychiatrist. It was great. It was decided that I needed to find a local therapist. I told Al I will always consider him my therapist and I am allowed to email him. I only have twice.

My next therapist was a woman whose area of interest is geriatrics. My bob rehab counselor knew of her and thought we'd be a good fit and we were. But I was in avoidance mode and we never got any trauma work done. She gave me her personal cell phone number and I was free to call her anytime usually just did if I was suicidal. Then she got a promotion and had to give up her clients.

This is when I found Adam who is one of the founders of the Maine Psychological Trauma Institute. He has worked with and been taught many techniques for use with trauma survivors. I see him once a week and sometimes twice. I can email him day or not weekday or weekend. If I have felt hopeless and feeling like ending my so called life, he wanted me to check in every day. He is the first T who introduced me to mind-body connections, so I take yin yoga and Reiki now. I cal Adam Steady Eddie. He leads me wherever it is I'm wanting to go and just stays calm and encourages me to come back from dissociating. He was blown away that I joined this site. I want you all to know how very grateful I am for the support and validation I have found here. I have been sleeping well lately.

My Psychiatrist is a pill pusher. He sees too many clients a day and he is pushing his power on me. I see him as little as possible.

 

[Sarah2732]

I feel like the biggest advantage of communicating via text or email is that it's so much easier to "hold on" to their words. There have been a lot of times I wanted to text my T but just reading her old texts helped reassure me enough to not bother her.

My main T wouldn't "do therapy" outside of the office, but welcomed me to email, text, or call if I needed to check on something about our relationship or needed to hear reassurance about something, or if was in crisis. I texted a lot, emailed some, and never ever called. I would never think my stuff was important enough to interrupt her life...

No idea about my new T. Well, I suspect he's ok with texting because he's initiated scheduling changes via text.

 

[desiderata310]

I don't email unless it is something that can wait till next session.
I will text if it is something I need immediate reaction to. Sometimes that means suicidal thinking. He's quick to respond to a text from me. I don't do it often and when I do there is a good reason for it.

He's also very happy to have emails from me after hours. Often I am struggling to put things into words DURING our session and it won't be till later that I can tie everything in and make sense of it. It gives him the opportunity to see where I took something after session and how I processed that information.

I. WILL. NOT. CALL.
I hate talking on the phone.

I try hard not to bug him after hours.

 

[xena21]

Have they been working with you at all on how to reduce the sucidial thoughts in more ways than calling crisis lines or alternative ways to hold on to the connection to them?

No they haven't . I usually don't have the words during my sessions to express my feelings about this. I just recently got them to agree to emails. Before it was just my sessions they would agree to. They are both sone by 5pm, and then I have to wait a week.

My ex therapist responded to every text, email, call - although I saw her twice a week and did not go overboard with communication between sessions. Simply knowing that she was available was enormously helpful.

That's awesome! She allowed you to text? I can't imagine. I have no number to call them via text. My numbers are government numbers that go thru a system. I think its great you can talk to her directly. I wish I could get a hold of my therapist.

Do people speak to their therapists after 5pm? I have never been able to do that. Or on the weekends when its so hard? I am in a government system so I have no numbers to contact them. I wish I could text them and let them know how I was struggling. Email is tough for me because I have OCD and it takes me hours to write one email. It would be so much easier just to text.

 

[Chosen]

I e-mail my T in between sessions. Most of the time he doesn't reply, though lately he has replied more, probably because I'm not doing so much therapy type things in emails, but more updates of good news, questions, joking, or an article/book I think he'd like.

 

[Leah123]

Do people speak to their therapists after 5pm? I have never been able to do that. Or on the weekends when its so hard?

Yes, I often speak to my therapist late, or did especially when I first started seeing her, lately it's more regular morning appointments. Many nights we've chatted until 11 or 12 her time: fortunately for me she likes working evening hours. Weekends too. It's very valuable. It is something I pay out of pocket for though: it's a significant expense but something I prioritize and am glad I'm able to do it.

 

[Sarah2732]

Do people speak to their therapists after 5pm? I have never been able to do that. Or on the weekends when its so hard?

Yes to evenings and weekends. My guess is this has a LOT to do with private practice vs government funded. I'm sure there are therapists working in social services who would allow contact outside of office hours/sessions, but my guess is that paying $75-$100 cash, out of pocket, per session, for a T significantly ups the likelihood of that being allowed or encouraged. ;)

US health care stinks, but sometimes, like this, I'm thankful for the opportunity to freely choose providers.

 

[Chosen]

I've heard some T's offer sessions later at night here in the US for people who work full-time. So, I'd imagine those are available after 5pm. Further, my university's counseling center, during the semester, stays open until 7pm on Monday nights.

 

[Suzetig]

I see someone privately, I only contact out of session for scheduling issues and I'll usually do that by email. It's not something we've discussed to be honest, I like the feeling of everything being contained in session and me not revisiting things with her in between times. She's fully present with me in session and is very flexible about our time together in that it's not unusual for sessions to run over if she wants to check I'm grounded and in an ok place to leave. I appreciate her very firm boundaries the rest of the time because it helps me avoid undue dependency.