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I'm always in the upper back right corner of my head... Always holding my knees. It's a safe place.

I work in customer service and am having a harder and harder time faking it. My boss doesn't understand it- especially where I won't answer the "how are you" question. It's just really hard...

I had my first and only ever GYN exam not too long ago because of special stabbing pains and just to make sure I didn't get any STDs or anything from being raped as a 5 year old. I told my PCP that's why I was there, too, which was super helpful because then she was aware of how I might have an...

I made the appointment! It's next week! Yay! Not much time to freak out! ; )

I called and left a message. I think you're right, @Jane.l, it is fear of the unknown. There's a great song by Brett Dennen that has as the chorus "Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know." I think I'll go give it a listen!

I finally called the employee assistance number to get a referral for someone to talk to. That was hard enough. Now I have to actually call the office to make an appointment. I'm not sure why I'm so afraid. I am brave enough to talk to people that are close to me... but they have done all they...

I saw that movie with no idea what it was about. It hit me really hard, too. For me, however, it was a wake up call- I had been avoiding looking at any of my issues and the movie showed me that it is ultimately far better to work through the hard stuff than to keep running from it. But I am...

Yeah I thought it was a weird thing for the doctor to say. He's not my primary care, actually. She is on extended maternity leave, so I get this guy for a while. He also told me next time I wake up convinced someone has broken into the house, I should go check. I suppose that is fairly logical...

These nightmares are wearing on me. I just want them to stop. This time around they are about things unrelated to my trauma. Well, they seem unrelated to my awake mind, but I'm sure in the subconscious there's a connection. I stopped bothering to talk about it with people because it's not...

Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone!

I am afraid of my own messed up thoughts and feelings- I sometimes have scary urges to hurt others. My closest friends are convinced I wouldn't ever abuse anyone or become violent, but I'm still afraid that those urges will become too strong and I'll act on them.

I also struggle with doubting my memories. The hardest thing for me is that I blocked out my primary trauma until years later, so I thought maybe I had just made it up- surely I wouldn't forget something so big, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to remember it later! Then I learned more...

I'm an INFP as well! Seems to be a lot of similar types on here!

I'm not sure about yesterday being a dream of happiness, but I'll let it slide because I like the rest of it so much. : )

Just under a month into Effexor and I already feel so much better. I'm sleeping better and am having an easier time letting thoughts just be thoughts and not let them take over my whole existence. Obviously there is no miracle pill that will fix everything, but I feel like I've been handed a key...

Were you groggy at first too? The pharmacist said it is normal and isn't cause for concern unless it doesn't get better.

The unfamiliar is always scary- even if the familiar is awful. I am very glad to have left the state my abusers all live in. It was a new start for me- I still had (and have) a lot to work through, but it have me the freedom and the safe place to let myself grow and change!

A week and a half into Effexor. I'm still feeling a tad groggier than my usual self, but it's a lot better than a week ago. It is definitely helping me to get to sleep at night, though. And I haven't felt as obsessive or anxious either, though I did have a different routine this week. The...

Yesterday I started Effexor after 2 appointments of the doctor trying to convince me to. We'll see how it goes.

I actually already do a form of this! I try to remember a gentle hug from a friend or some kind words spoken to me. I figured if my body could remember the worst things it can remember the best things, too!

I'm not exactly sure where to post this, but I am just having a very PTSD month. A whole lot of symptoms all at the same time, throughout my day (and night) and am having a harder time than usual talking about it with anyone. I just needed to put it out there that I'm feeling real yucky right...

Body memories Startle response Moodiness

I finally had a talk with my boss about some minor adjustments in my work schedule and environment that would help me succeed there! I have a great boss and we've worked together off and on for 5 years. I was honest about feeling over stressed and that I was getting overwhelmed more often than...

Right now it's "Broken Girl" by Matthew West.

Yep. I was just sharing this kind of sadness with a friend. Some things are still a sharp kind of pain, but many of them have become a deep ache- a longing that things could be different that they were or are. I actually feel this most right now about having been robbed of my virginity. There's...