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@Springer, yeah that's what I'm hoping, that colossus and me maybe should merge! Maybe I need to meet colossus, maybe I need to let my family fend for themselves and actually greet this creature. It has been a very tough struggle which started when I met my fiancé. My family has been trying to...

@marylouise, What is a shamanic journey? Sounds cool!

@Springer80, Thank you so much for your thoughts, you really helped me putting this in some perspective. I talked to my faincé after reading your message and he said these meteorites and colossus, they are me, my strenght, breaking the world I used to be trapped in. That's why I'm not scared, I...

I find that a person who self harms doesn't really keep their safety in mind, it's not a problem damaging yourself. I started self harm at 9 years old, it started off as a simple cry for help, I would smack and scratch my face in front of students and teachers to show the bullying was getting to...

My dreams are so often about doomsday and about me saving my family. The thing is, I don't feel they are nightmares, I find them beautiful. I have dreamt dreams of the world ending since I was very young, I used to be scared but I'm not anymore. The dreams are majestic, the details are better...

I had this flash last night, I think I have to write it out. I used to only be able to remember how he asked me to come into this room. It was a big and bright room, with big sliding doors in clear glass. He was sitting in front of me, on a chair, and he pulled my pants down, and I remember this...

@marylouise, Thank you. Really, thank you. :hug:

GoHungry, Thank you for sharing. I'm happy the diagnosis has been a liberation for you. :) This does seem like a great community, I feel really happy there are more people with a similar disposition. I feel like the reason why some parents don't deal with bullying amongst siblings is because...

Thank you sheero22, you do help! I think you make a good point, I used to be petrified of being diagnosed with a mental disorder, like it would be the end of my life, it took me months to accept mine as more than doctors trying to label me. But you are right, it's a confirmation of what...

Thank you so much for your kind words Go Hungry, it feels really nice to read there are more people like me and that it's not too strange to be damaged from these things. I remember bragging how "strong" I was as 13 years old, that I could take on anything and not "needing" help from adults, I...

I hope I'm not wrong when saying that CPTSD stands for complex post traumatic stress disorder and is mainly applied to cases with prolonged emotional abuse.

sheero22 Thank you so much for your quick response. I was a bit worried the CPTSD wasn't "for real" for some reason, the articles I read are about much bigger and stronger incidents, like war and natural disasters. I still can't get over feeling like I'm just being a wuzz, whining about stuff I...

I am sorry for this wall of text, I guess I needed to vent. So I was "diagnosed" in March by an assessment team with Post traumatic stress disorder and OCD, and I am trying to wrap my head around it. I have suffered emotional abuse my entire life, both within my family and during my school...