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I hope I get it fixed as well. The doctor thinks my prognosis is good although he won't guarantee anything. I'm willing to try most anything. The pain medication as much as I resisted it works extremely well for such a small dose. I have no choice but to play it one day at a time.

I hit 50 in July and did a complete health check up. All blood work, colonoscopy, calcium score (highly recommend for heart attack risk/insurance doesn't cover but cheap) and prostate exam. Everything was great minus an enlarged prostate where the problem was a lobe of the prostate grew into...

@Mee. That's interesting we're opposites with similar desires so to speak. My wife's rapist was pretty much a child at 15 but even so I knew it was wrong when I was that age. It took a long time to get where I am now. There were several things that helped me some of which you mention. Once...

I had huge issues with this. Especially with sexual assault because so few are convicted. Injustice infuriated me (I have anger issues). I completely understand the desire for revenge but there are a number of problems with it. Although sexual assaults are seldom prosecuted physical assaults...

Here I am again coming late to the discussion. Yet again we are in a similar situation with similar issues. I wouldn't handle 3 weeks worth a damn. We worked out a compromise years ago to deal with our differing drives. My wife is not malicious but she says some things that sting even though...

SRG, I am coming to the conversation late but the title intrigued me. I know we have crossed paths before and felt like we had a good bit in common but my initial reaction was there is no way "all sex is about power" is going to logically hold. As other posters have said your...

I would agree but I don't understand their logic. If what you want is punani you will get a lot more of it much more safely by sticking with one woman. I may not have slept with many women but I've had more sex than many who have slept with vastly more women because they just leave after they...

“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man." I plucked this quote from your link. It spoke to me for whatever reason. I can't help but find men's desire is more consistent and this quote explains how women's desire can be watered down over...

I don't think the change (in my wife's case) was malicious. From the beginning I have loved and desired my wife. In truth I had my head up my ass for years not realizing what I had but love and attraction has grown. I have expressed this fact. I'm curious about your 12 step program but I can...

I agree completely with the above. My favorite phase is the beginning of a relationship when sex and desire are high on both sides. After a while both partners revert to their norm. Does one partner want sex more? I'm sure there are some equally matched people but for the most part everyone...

As the husband who posted this over 3 years ago it stung on first reading as did many other posts but Kefira is not malicious or selfish. She like our spouses lived through being raped. Coming here and getting information too painful to discuss with my wife was invaluable and selfless on their...

Here's the male side to your dilemma point by point starting with a movie anyone in their mid to upper 40's has seen which is When Harry Met Sally where the premise is men just want to have sex with their attractive and potentially not so attractive female friends. The movie spoke to me in my...

Damn Littleoc, Your thread has struck a nerve. It's hard to ask a single question where so many diverse backgrounds converge like you have when you started this. Hope4Now your story is fascinating minus the abuse side but that is part of the question. It's rare to see this much content...

I've done both but I have no history of sexual trauma. I really think couples counseling is a good thing if you get in before it's too late. As for sex therapy I just went to get an idea of why my wife was the way she was but that quickly turned into me. The sex therapist was good though...

Littleoc, I'm glad you enjoyed what I wrote and that it made you think. I don't see a lot of critical thinking going on these days. Since I wrote this I realized I did tell one friend about the vacation incident. He was my history teacher, is gay and is one of my best friends. I asked...

Unfortunately I am well too versed in this subject. Does money buy happiness? No. Does getting screwed out of your inheritance buy happiness? No. It's time to use your reptilian brain. Most people don't have them but lawyers do. If your father's mental capacity is failing and a change was...

This reminds me of my wife minus the unsatisfiable part. Having sex when your partner considers it something that must be done a doing what needs to be done to get it over with is in my view done as sex out of love. I want what we had in the beginning which was love and desire for the other on...

The odds are .6% will be sentenced to jail time. From a mathematical standpoint a point is a 1% chance. The majority of men are not rapist. I think it makes sense to put the perpetrator on the radar. Maybe when someone else reports it will be taken seriously. What did I do as a male at 14...

100%. You can call if you want. Anonymity is all I ask for.

I think I have more of an understanding wife than she has an understanding husband. She left her comfort zone when she compromised. I feel like the lucky one. hooper

The best way I've heard differing desires expressed is comparing it to a different appetite like food. One person can eat and be ready to eat again in 3 hours whereas another can eat once a day. The problem with sex is it is so personal. It does not phase me that my wife isn't ready to eat...

Still Standing, I really appreciate that. I'm one of these guys whose wife was raped and didn't handle it worth a damn. In fact it was so bad I got skewered on my first thread that in fact was an act of love from a bunch of women who have been raped. I have learned as much here as in...

I think this is the normal direction of a relationship. In the beginning sex is frequent. I call it the rabbit phase but the proper term is limerence. After a period of time each partner reverts to their normal libido. The odds of 2 people having the same libido is low. Men and women are...

Freida, I read what you had to say as well as everyone else and decided to just go 100% straight truth. I just asked her if she had any idea what it was like to have the best wife you could ask for, (most importantly) the best Mom for our kids you can ask for, by far the best sex I've...

To be clear I am a male and the thought of my wife seeing my desire for her making her feel like an object is nauseating. The interesting thing you say is "none of my sexual needs, wants, or desires were ever considered". Sexually I am a pleaser but I am not allowed to. My wife is a pleaser...