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Beautifully written!

My anger with God comes and goes. One of the women in my small group told me "God has big shoulders. He can take any anger you have." I've come to realize that it's like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. No matter how angry they get with you, you don't take it personally. Sometimes, a person...

I have an update. I talked to my small group Thursday night. I let out all of my thoughts and feelings about this topic. It was very cathartic. I'm not the only one in my group who has these feelings. It made me feel less alone. I know that many of you have turned from God or towards Him...

Thank you. This is very similar to what my pastor said yesterday. I'm very slow at processing emotional information. Maybe I just need to allow myself time to process.

Thank you for your support. I believe that church was part of my trauma, part of my trigger, and part of my recovery. I believe I was raped by my minister when I was 3 (I'm not positive because I'm relying on the broken memories of a traumatized 3-year-old and I just remembered most of it 2...

I feel so stupid. I talked to my pastor this morning. He is absolutely amazing. He always makes so much sense. I feel stupid because I can't stop blaming myself for my abuse. I know that it is in no way my fault. I just can't get this circle of thought out of my head. If you have any...

Not a movie, but watch TED talks on YouTube. Thousands to choose from and very inspiring.

Right now I'm going through the cycle of anger then guilt and shame. I'm angry at God then I feel guilty about it. Then it rolls back into shame. I'm a bad person for being angry with God. Then I start thinking the abuse was my fault. I'm a bad person for allowing this to happen to me. I know...

I'm very involved with my current church. I believe that going to church is what triggered my PTSD. I hadn't been to church in 15 years. I knew a little of the what, but I didn't know the who, where, or the rest of the what. When I started therapy it all started flooding back. The anger reared...

I was triggered pretty badly last week. I couldn't figure out why until this morning. I'm still angry he didn't stop it. I've yelled and cursed at Him. Maybe I need to let my anger out agian. I'm confused. I love Him but I'm angry too. Sometimes I feel defeated.

I went through a period where I was very angry with God. I'm a Christian and thought it was sacrilegious to be angry with the big guy. I wanted to know why he didn't protect me. Why are some kids spared from abuse and others forced to endure it. He raped me in the office of the church during...

I often feel like a liar. Maybe it's because I was so young when it happened. Maybe it's because I didn't remember any of it until many years later. Maybe it's because no one noticed something was wrong with me.Maybe it's because every time I remember a new piece of the puzzle a little voice in...

I remembered something new this morning. Every muscle in my body hurt. I felt shaky and numb at the same time. Nothing around me seemed real. He asked me if I could walk. How is it that someone could do something so terrible and then be concerned about my welfare. I feel stupid because I can't...

My therapeutic assignment is to write a letter to my abuser. I want to scream at him, "What were you thinking when you raped me? How could a grown man rape a three-year-old?" Did something equally terrible happen to him? It hurts so much that sometimes it's hard to breathe. I didn't understand...

When you call your therapist and make an extra appointment before you're at the point where you need to be hospitalized:-)

I feel like something inside me broke. I'm consumed with an incredible amount of sadness. It robs me of any joy or excitement. I question how I can trust God or anyone with any kind of power in my life. I feel like my entire body is being weighed down with depression. Is it stupid to want to...

I'm feeling really depressed today. Maybe it's the cold cloudy weather. Maybe I just need a reallygood cry. I told my therapist once that I was afraid if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop. He told me there are very few guarantees in psychology. He guaranteed me that I would stop crying...

@invisiblegirl14 From what I've heard, people who weren't abused don't think that they were. I didn't remember my abuse until I was 15. I think you should find a therapist to help you understand why you think this. Do you have any other psychological problems?

I've been feeling really good the last couple of months, looking for a new job and a new place to live. I've been happy and laughing easily. For some reason last week I figured out who did it. I guess I've known all along. I just didn't want to believe it was someone I knew and trusted. It was...

I had a terrible nightmare last night. I dreamed I was in a building that had several rooms from different places. All of the rooms were occupied and I was looking for a particular room. No one could help me find the room. Some how my house was connected to the building. My daughter was there...

The first time I cut my wrist I was 11. My mom put a bandaid on it and told me I was going to be fine. When I was 15 I was in the hospital for attempting suicide. My mom called and told me she wanted to kill herself. She was supposed to visit me that day. I told my therapist I didn't want to...

Thank you for your input. You've given me a lot to think about. I'll probably never know what happened to me. I guess I just have to come to terms with that. I wonder sometimes if I made any noises. Did I cry? Did I ask for my mom? I think these things are why I'm having trouble letting it go. I...

I've been feeling pretty zoned out lately. Nothing seems real to me. I'm not really living right now. I feel okay when I'm volunteering, but after I'm done I feel nothingness again. I feel sorry that I can't be the mother that my daughter needs. I do the best that I can, but it never feels good...

I didn't think you were minimizing it. I'm just confused. Most of it is body memories. Some of it is pictures and some of it is smells. I thought for a long time that I was crazy when I could feel his hands on me. I'm having trouble figuring out what is real.

I don't think what I remember is something I saw on tv. Unless someone was showing me child pornography. Most of my memories are body memories. I feel it rather than see it. Sometimes when I remember something particularly traumatic this little voice in my head screams, "Nothing happened!" Is it...