Search results

Yes I can totally agree on one level. On another level I have been in therapy for three years and let him guide it only to find out he feels inadequate and he never said anything. It has lead to a lot of problems and hurt and I pay out of pocket so I want to be involved in my treatment so I...

Is there any road blocks or bumps in the road that you would be able to give me insight in so as I can avoid them potentially? I mean I know there will be difficult times but anything to make it easier would be helpful. :) Thank you so much for your kind reply @qwyoey! I greatly appreciate it...

@Leighlee87 , Thank you so much for your reply! I believe you are correct. I guess I just didn't know I was ill enough or a severe enough case to need a full team as opposed to one psychologist. I am just scared that it's going to blow up in my face. I'm scared. But hopefully they communicate...

Hello Everyone!! I sincerely hope you are all doing okay and if not that please except hugs from me if you are comfortable with that!! I am sending my love. xx Okay so I have recently been put in to a very strange situation and I can not find much online about how to navigate through this. I...

Awesome! I am happy that I was understanding correctly. I can see how that would be not advisable to confuse myself more based on forcing myself to adopt it as my decision when my brain has made that line and caused me to feel like it wasn't me. I agree, I may approach it in such a manner as...

I like this question and concept. Let me see if I am understanding what you are asking. Basically I could attempt to control some things such as, I don't know... maybe who I have sex with and acknowledge that I made that decision and choice therefor allowing me to take back some control in the...

Thank you both for your replies! :) I do have a fairly big issue with one 'part' of me. I do not feel like she is me at all. And please let me try my best to explain to the best of my ability. I have a part that is named. My abuser when I was little said I was adopted and that my real name...

Hello everyone, I am sending you all positive vibes! I hear a lot of talk about 'parts' and I am trying to better understand. I feel like I have 'parts' of me that are separate from other 'parts'. I also feel like sometimes something triggers me and I will have a 'part' take over or handle the...

Hello, @Mari I am so glad you reached out here also! I am recently back after being away for a long while, but I know that this platform has been critical in helping me. It gives me a good sense that I am not alone, and you aren't either. I am proud of you for reaching out because I know how...

It just feels so different from my normal flasbacks. Usually they are from the past being brought back up. Like the actual past trauma memory recurring in my present. hmmm... I really truly appreciate all of your opinions and insights. It's really helping me to understand better what I am...

Yes @illusionist, that is what it's like for me also! Thank you so much for your reply. I feel like I'm going crazy and it can be scary. :/

Yes @DharmaGirl I would say that 90% of the time I am already awake. Except from the times I mentioned above, where it happens just as I wake up from sleep. Maybe that's not quite awake? ... thank you so much, I would greatly appreciate your review on the book! :)

Thank you for your reply @scout86 I am having a hard time relating it to my flashbacks because it's not an actual memory persay (my flashbacks have words and scenes from the actual trauma. It's not something that replays. It's like he is just standing there out of the corner of my eye although...

Hello Everyone, So I am aware that there are some threads similar to this one, however they are from a couple years ago from what I can see. I may be totally wrong... Its just what I saw while quickly scanning. Im back after a long while away. But I need the support, so I wanted to reach out...

Breath-taking, thank you for sharing.

Sorry for not replying right away, I needed some time. Yes Deep Loss feels like it fits.. I hate nights where I dream of him and cry and wake up already sobbing. I feel like I could lie frozen for eternity. I find being able to talk about it really helpful. My Father has said all of his kids...

Thank you everyone for the replies. It was very releasing to type this all out last night and wake up to so many caring posts. @Saetva, Your words ring true... I do feel like I have lost a sense of self. I looked up to my brother more than I do to my own father. There was a 13 year age gap...

Thank you @gizmo, you have faithfully always been so kind in your responses to me. I appreciate that. I feel so vulnerable and fragile. I am thankful that you are allowing me to use this space without judgment. Honestly gizmo, I am thankful you are here. Thank you.

I hid behind the pillow during therapy, spent most of my time there. My therapist asked me for the pillow and I asked why and he said because he wants to be able to see me. I don't want to be seen. Why would he want to see me? He will just hate or be disgusted by what he sees. I dissociate a...

Some of you know me slightly, Some know nothing of me. I haven't posted in a long time. I was diagnosed with ptsd before my brother died, After I was sexually assaulted. Everything changed when I came home after the assault, things such as points of views, all the way to each relationship I...

I have struggled with eating disorders or better said disordered eating for most of life. I say it that way because I flip flop between extremes. Sometimes it's Bulima, sometimes I just don't eat. Anorexia. Mine is also centred around trauma. To me though when I start getting to a severe part...

I think thats why I liked the song so much, I feel that a lot of people could relate to it despite having different stories. I know my story doesn't stem from college. I also like that it is trying to address the real issues of safety on school campus'.

I actually purchased the song because some of the proceeds go to an organization that help people who suffer from sexual assault, so I figured sharing it was good. Sorry about the trigger warning, the place where I got the video from highly suggested to warn people before they watch it so I...

*TRIGGER WARNING* The above link is to "till it happens to you" by lady Gaga. Typically lady Gaga isn't my jam, but this song hit home for me. If my url copy and paste didn't work, I encourage anyone interested in the video to look it up on YouTube or apple music. The video does have a...

I am trying to be strong, everything feels like a struggle right now. My heart longs to be near you, my dear brother. I miss you so much, my heart hurts. I am trying to hold on to hope, and your encouraging words. Its just so hard.