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I have an appointment with voc rehab in September to determine my eligibility in the program. I'm supported by my doctor and mental health worker, and was eligible in the past so I'm fairly confident I'll be approved. My problem is I have no idea what field I want to go into. My work experience...

I quit my job a year and a half ago in a violent PTSD induced psychotic break which led to a year of legal problems that have since been resolved. I am still not working and am probably at least a year or more away from working again, if I ever do. I can't use my last job as a reference which...

Thanks for the good advice and reassurance pixel and Ragdoll. I did call the office (I wrote down and rehearsed ahead of time) and got an appointment. My lawyer was waiting to hear back from the Crown, which is what caused the delay. The good news is all of my charges have been stayed - the...

My last explosive PTSD breakdown was almost a year ago, but I found myself in legal trouble in the next few months by sending threatening and insulting texts to former co-workers while highly symptomatic, and I was arrested. I felt insulted, threatened and bullied by my former co-workers and my...

Man, at first I thought you were splitting hairs or just being mean, so I googled self esteem vs self worth and holy!! There's a lot to say about both & their differences. Gives me something new to read about tomorrow, thanks Albatross! Initially I'd say I would like healthier self esteem AND...

I haven't had much joy or passion for anything in a long while. I have 2 cats that I love, and they love me every day, even when I can't stand myself. Give me a reason to get up, even give me crap when I haven't showered in a week. The best part of my last job was speaking to and helping...

Last weekend I finally threw out my notes and old emails from my last job, then got a resume together to apply for a volunteer position as a peer support provider at Mood Disorders Association. It took me 6 months of complete physical and mental exhaustion to finally do this. It felt good to...

I've been reading other posts and am shocked by how many other PTSD survivors have been gaslit and set up to fail by former employers. It takes some of the guilt and self blame off of me that I'm not a complete f*ck up and my situation isn't as unique as I had blamed myself for. A lot of former...

Thank you for posting Chimera, I could relate to a lot of your experience and don't feel as alone. It does sound like you were set up and gaslit. My former employer did the same to me - deliberately and repeatedly put me on the busiest shifts working alone while preferred employees worked...

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for posting, I'm in a similar situation and don't feel as alone today. I also worked for government and feel I was targeted, gossiped about at work, bullied and disrespected, and pushed out of my job because of my PTSD. If our former employers spent...

I think a burner jobby job will be my option when I'm ready. For the bills & confidence. My last job was semi serious: entry level government, after 6 years homeless then living in crap subsidized housing earning a counselling certificate while battling addictions. My self esteem is in the...

Thanks all for the help I'm not sure how much to disclose to a potential employer about my C-PTSD and reactions under extreme stress. It would be nice to have reasonable understanding and accommodation but there's the risk of being seen as too damaged to hire. It's taken me 5 months just to get...

I quit my job last December due to overwork and bullying, and feeling extremely triggered. I did not give notice, as I felt leaving was urgent for both me and the workplace. I had a major PTSD relapse the next month, which was the 10 year anniversary of my PTSD experience/diagnosis. I sent...

I think you have something here When the guys come back from a DB, usually suicide, they would use a lot of black humour that just horrified me. But they were the guys on scene and this is how they coped. And they weren't all bad to me, some had arranged for a ride home for me a few times after...

Also guys on their breaks would sit around me casually wondering out loud if they had PTSD too, like it was a catching cold. If they had C-PTSD, they would sure as hell know by not being able to breath or function without constant mind f*cking fear, hate, anger, shame. It's like them sitting...

Thank you ShielaKathy After surviving & my diagnosis in 2005 I completed my Certificate in Applied Counselling. On my own with no family support or friends while living in squalid crap. I received a lot of commendations from guys in the field who I dispatched to emergency situations -...

Thanks for getting how I feel There are a lot of kind and smart people on this site, I feel a lot better than being alone, which is how I've felt the last 10 years especially the last 4 years working Thank you seedling

Thanks for the encouragement everyone My doctor is a good guy, he agrees that I needed to leave a job where I was unhappy & unhealthy and is helping me get unemployment I journal a lot - mostly hateful angry crap that I rip up the next day, then I start over. Also writing many nasty Christmas...

Welcome Friend :)

Thanks Poofycat I kinda forced myself to go for a walk in the snow yesterday, I tend to isolate for long periods when depressed or angry. I got winded but felt better after, just getting out of my mind a bit I have an intake at the YMCA next week to take a Managing Anger course. It's not going...

Thanks Kona, I'm gonna try. Got a good sleep and not drinking today. Don't know what to do with all this anger. Today will just try to stand myself. I have 2 cats that are giving me a lot of attention, I'm grateful for that.

Thanks man I'm gonna try to relax and sleep a bit, maybe calm down I take seroquil, hate the weight gain I'm not violent but I understand why guys go in and shoot up bad people who humiliate guys with injuries for fun I know that's a bad thing to think, it's how I really feel right now. I...

Thanks for the welcome Maybe I'll try writing down the times I have helped other people and try to focus on that when I get pissed off and paranoid I fantasize about going back there, making them all feel as different and stupid like they made me feel Make them hurt like the constant fighting...

46 year old guy, diagnosed chronic PTSD over 10 years Quit my job of 4 years last week. Dispatcher for emergency services, job was too stressful every shift, I'm highly triggered and startled (scream and jump), I weirded out my coworkers and they made work very unwelcoming. I had become...