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I have a great therapist that B & I saw for the last few years. He recognized B and that B was putting his own problems onto me - it was amazing to have a therapist that did not believe his bad mouthing me. (We went to many over the years). Later I found out that my therapist went to a state...

For the last few years B would reference me as his wife. It always made me feel good (41 and never married) It made me feel wanted and because our relationship was so up & down, I craved anything that made me feel good. To finally be legally married, have the rush that everything was going to be...

I did not think of it like that - and you are right!

Tomorrow I go to court to change my name back to my maiden name. Since we were only married 5 days I feel weird about everything. I am still having folks that don't know me well congratulate me on getting married :( I am angry at B and upset with everything that happened. Still, though I am...

Thank you Ragdoll Circus :) Took it easy this week. I think the anniversary stuff is hitting harder than I thought. My birthday this weekend. Then anniversary of Dad passing. All of the 1 year ago today stuff - I get waves of how I felt 1 year ago and it sure takes a toll. Feeling like I could...

You didn't offend Mytime. I appreciate it. Hate my rollercoaster feelings. I so much wanted to believe in Tim. With what Ben put me though I thought Tim was a gift. Now I am looking at the 1st year anniversaries coming up - Tim did this on Bens birthday, my birthday is sunday, my dads...

When I went to Rays viewing it hit me. He was a singer and they had his music playing. The the sting - it was held in the same place as my best friend./lil brothers service and my Dads viewing. That hurt too. Parking the vehicle brought back a lot of emotions. Now I ache to be back with Tim...

Well to update this one too... Tim is now engaged to his ex. WTF. I can't believe he promised me the world, promised to marry me someday all of these things and within one week is engaged to his ex :( Aren't I worth more than that :'( He gave me compliment throughout our relationship -...

Well..........now I feel sick again. Tim and his ex are now engaged. How does that even happen? How on earth can he kick me out and be engaged within one week :( I just want to throw up and crawl back into bed :'(

being here to vent really helps. I am going crazy inside. Crazy about all of he ben stuff, why haven't I been able to be in a healthy relationship - then this with Tim is just the topper. I am the common piece and I've tried so hadr to be loving, giving and have a healthy relationship. My...

He did it. He stopped with the psych meds and cut down his oxy - then he was having spasms so he brought his oxy up a little. Then we had this bog blow up and he kicked me out :( Now that I have had time to think, he really made his side of the story terrible. Putting blame/anger on me that he...

Oh no Casey! WTH

He had those for PTSD I believe. The oxy was for his chronic pain

I should also say he has a lot of trouble sleeping - which certainly does not help and deals with chronic pain, tennis elbow...the list goes on. He tells me he cannot go into REM sleep. Sometimes I wonder if he was too absorbed in his medical stuff, not to be mean however the list was long. I...

I am still trying to make sense of someones (Tims) behavior. He has been on a LOT of meds - Cyclobenzaprine, Oxy, Clonazepam, Ambien and a few others. 2 meds for depression he had stopped taking in the week before his outburst. He was also cutting down on his Oxy. Then he started taking he...

Praying for you

Thank you Melanova. It does hurt a lot how he went about this, and Im sure I will always hurt with how it all unraveled. I do want so desperately to be loved, held. last Sunday Tim packed my stuff and put it in the driveway. On Wednesday some mutual friends let me know he posted a pic on FB of...

Thank you Ragdoll Circus It does hurt like crazy however I'm seeing I had no chance. The meltdown was not like he is saying it was. reminds me of Ben :( He did a lot of "Ben things" that night and the next day and realizing I tapped out - blocked it out or whatever has made me really think...

Wow - OCPD. Sure describes him in some ways. The paying great attention to details, lists, money and most of all - no flexibility. He would get downright mean abot it. He just never took it out on me, he just spoke of others to me. Plus he didn't care for any of my friends or work associates...

I made myself shower and go to my friends for supper. She listened to me talk circles. It was good to get out. Tomorrow is paperwork and a viewing of a good friend. I am starting to get the emotion now that our friend passed. Weird how numbness can just take over. At least I didn't drive in too...

Thanks everyone. I am getting pretty mad at him for not having any compassion. I've also listened to my neighbors who were with me when I had my meltdown - I was honest with him on the phone. I think I blocked out stuff during my meltdown, not because of the 3 beers (from 2:00-7:00, I could not...

Thank you Casey_03

You all have been very helpful, Ive appreciated all of the responses, I really appreciate being able to come here to ask/talk. Its difficult being alone right now. My house seems so big and dark. My 24 yr old cat - Gandolph- passed in December and now that I am home I really notice his presence...

I had the biopsy - augh! Sorry you have to as well. I'm afraid of the IUD - my body rejects everything and I just dont dare. I wish so bad my body & head would be normal ;)

One more question if you dont mind, what do you think or have experienced for time to reflect on being hurt?