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Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I totally understand what you are describing regarding your feelings upon your return back home. I think breaks from our routines in our daily life serve as a bit of an oasis, and once we return back to our home life it is a bit of a shock to us. I...

Awe thank you very much. If we are humble we can be open to learning something from everyone. I cannot count on my own two hands how many people, regardless of how different or alike, older or younger, that I have learned something very valuable from. My most recent mentors are the authors John...

Today is a blessing for multiple reasons. Having fought a dual diagnosis for over 7 years it is with ongoing and immense gratitude that just about everyday I do not wake up suffering from the obsession to maintain a life of drug addiction. Through active addiction I had very little sanity and...

Not quite, but that was 6 years ago. I cut my head by smashing an oscillating fan against my television and bled everywhere, so by the time they showed up my living room was tore apart and i was bleeding all over myself. They confiscated everything sharp in my kitchen and left.

The cops were DEFINITELY called on me by a neighbor because of post traumatic outbursts.

I understand the uncontrollable feeling of instantaneous rage, too. It's definitely attributed to our childhood trauma. Abandonment and abuse is so detrimental to us growing up that whenever there's the slightest semblance of losing control in our adult lives it immediately hijacks our brains to...

I cannot imagine how difficult and scary it must be for you to be in that position. I have CPTSD, and my condition formulated primarily because of excruciating abandonment. So, I have experienced the agonizing depths of fear over loss and rejection many times. Even the potential for loss and...

It truly hurts me to read that you are in such a horrible position, and I wish I could do something to take away your pain. I cannot imagine how terrible that must feel to be accused of doing nothing more than practicing a little assertiveness, which is usually hard for those of us with CPTSD...

Do you like to read at all? I can recommend a few good books.

I imagine that hurts quite a bit. I know how important it is to feel like a priority, especially from a father figure.

I am incredibly sorry for your loss. I have three different men in my recovery that I rely upon emotionally, mentally and spiritually who have reparented me and accepted me in ways that my father never did, and I do not know what I would do without them. I hope your current stepfather is loving...

Thank you for the kind words. Truthfully my internal critic was shaming me to the point of wanting to delete the post. That's only a small fraction of what the critic does to me. A lot of attempts at expressing myself authentically often times are immediately met with excruciating feelings of...

This most recent holiday season was the second consecutive year that I was blessed with an abundance of gifts, love and food. A large portion of my life has been endured under what could be described as somewhat minimalist conditions, particularly in the material/physical realm. I have grown...

I'm glad you can empathize! It is quite an enjoyable thing, and I find that it occurs more and more after I continue the introspective work. That connection from mind to body is a very legitimate thing.

No apology necessary. I know that having CPTSD in a relationship is difficult, but I am glad that you have found ways to get through them and that your husband allows you alone time to cope. My ex also has the same condition so unfortunately we were both triggered at separate and identical...

That is amazing, and your story reminds me a lot of what Pete Walker suggests in terms of flashback management. It is very important for us to be self nurturing in ways that you described when we feel such horrendous pain. Quite frankly, I am impressed!!! What helps me is a combination of...

I cannot imagine the horror involved in witnessing another friends death, and then being accused by the police that you were partially responsible for it. I know how excruciating abandonment feels, just under different circumstances than you described. I'm glad that you have been given an...

I'm glad that you have begun to change things for the better within your mind. What may I ask is gaslighting?

I understand the fear of asking questions. My fear is due to it being a trigger for flashing back to asking questions when I was a child which sometimes, possibly often times had consequences. There's a tremendous hesitation and fear moments before asking because the way I was raised and treated...

I'm glad you have found more peace. May I ask what was the source of your horrible thoughts, or what they entailed? I understand that may be too personal to share here, so I hope you have support in your private life that you can unload these burdens to.

As a result of applying these steps I have been able to feel very strong physical changes for the better. It's like I go from feeling intense fear and panic to euphoria and gratitude in a matter of 30 minutes or less.

I have been applying much of what you suggested. When the feelings in my body begin to change then I practice what I've learned from "Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving" which is 1. Acknowledgment of the flashback and assurance that I'm not in the danger of the past. 2. Grieving a life of...

One thing I have learned is that (given my upbringing and the trauma that ensued) there are quite a few triggers I encounter on a day to day basis. But, aside from critic initiated flashbacks, the most excruciating trigger I experience is as soon as the sun sets. The physical symptoms I endure...

I hope you find the help you need soon. I understand an inability to maintain employment. I tried for years for dozens of employers. After reading a few select books, along with a bunch of introspective work, I began to realize that, like you said, there have been very definitive symptoms of my...

Thank you. It is definite progress, but there's more work to be done.