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  1. J

    The mighty pen

    The answer will never be in a pill!! Medications are another way to mask your issues just like alcohol and drugs.
  2. J

    How Do You Feel About Your Self?

    I f*cking hate myself!!! Yesterday in therapy I made a joke about having a time machine. My therapist asked me where I would go if I had a time machine. I told her I would go back to when I was conceived and stop my parents from having sex.
  3. J

    Codependent + Codependent

    I'm in this exact predicament. What we are doing to counter balance is becoming very good friends first. Its strange for.both of us because.we.are.both use to jumping straight in to a relationship. We are both taking DBT for.one year and force each other to attend and make sure they other one...
  4. J

    So Upset With My Therapist And Don't Know What To Do

    This is the reason why therapy is a f*cking scam. No matter how you slice it it will always be about the money. Don't give me the "it's just business" speech because it's never business for the ones being f*cked. Our society is nothing, but a business siphoning your souls. No matter how much...
  5. J

    High Pitch Ringing In Ears Before I Have Sleep Paralysis

    I found I only have episodes when I sleep on my back. Haven't slept on my back for over 10 years.
  6. J

    Just Curious How Many Of You All Do This?

    It may be a sign that you are an Empath. We are the spiritual therapist of the world. Do you find that you encounter people you don't know giving their life story? Do you feel you have a unique ability to connect to anyone? Do a little research if you're interested.
  7. J

    My Hyper Vigilance Making Me Hit A Brickwall In A Dbt Module

    I was in dbt for three months and could never do my homework. Throughout the week I would pull it out and try to complete the assignment, but I can't see my self doing any of it. I was pulled out of group because it triggered me every week until I ended up in the ER. You may not be ready for...
  8. J

    Next Sessions Topic....transference

    I finally convinced T to give me 90 minutes a session. When I asked for twice a week she automatically denied me. I broke down and tried my damnedest to explain what I was filling. 40 minutes into our session she said she would have to see if she could but it couldn't be every week. My mind...
  9. J

    My Therapist Cried

    My T tears are the most sincere form of validation she can ever give me. I view most of the validation given by therapists is scripted and I don't like it at all, but tears can not be faked in those precious moments.
  10. J

    Need Help Staying In Therapy!

    Yes I tried four times. I can't imagine she did this. She told me it was a good session as I walked out. f*ck I hate PTSD!! My thoughts keep changing every hour. Im confused more than anything.
  11. J

    Need Help Staying In Therapy!

    Update At the end of my session she tells me to email her how I want next session be. So I sat down for four hours today and typed away. I sent it and later on I noticed I had an email. My email was blocked and I'm not sure what to think at this point. This is why I don't get close to...
  12. J

    Need Help Staying In Therapy!

    I'd rather just shut my self off as I've done for the past 30 years. This is why I didn't want to begin therapy. Pulling up my past and kicking my ass out the door. I just don't give a f*ck anymore.
  13. J

    Need Help Staying In Therapy!

    I can't use the phone. I'm against any synthetic medication so I won't let myself go 5150. Three weeks ago I dissociated and came to in the ER getting my blood taken. No one explained why I was there until I spoke to the crisis worker after 6 hours. After they took blood a nurse walked up to...
  14. J

    Need Help Staying In Therapy!

    I've gotten to the point that I don't even want to write in this forum because I feel nothing I can say means anything. It began a month ago when my therapist told me she doesn't have the time to read all my emails(I have this thing about using the phone...I can't so emails were my way to...
  15. J

    Running Away...

    I've been running my entire life. Been homeless for almost 4 years. Now I'm thinking of running away from therapy because I've created this bound with my therapist that's way too intense for me.
  16. J

    Favorite Place To Hide

    Being homeless.....I like to hide in plan sight.
  17. J

    What Do You Look For In A Therapist?

    After researching and seeing a therapist for four months if you don't think you have the best therapist in the world keep looking. I had no idea I had a choice in who my therapist was....I guess I was lucky because every other therapist in the clinic I go to either creeps me out or pisses me...
  18. J

    How Do You View Love?

    I can feel your pain and I love you for it. This is what I believe. The further down the path of evil we are exposed to the further down the path of love we are capable of.
  19. J

    Fear Of Failure Holds Me Back

    I see myself as the dumbest genius. Back and forth my mind goes between the two. I have had blackouts that cause memory loss my whole life. In school I had to reteach myself everything from the year before just to re-catch up again and again. It's as if I don't use the information I learn I...
  20. J

    How Do You View Love?

    I wrote this post because I have a suspicion the further evil you have encountered the more capacity for love you can contain.
  21. J

    How Do You View Love?

    I was tortured at the age of five and I'm coming up on my 35th birthday. It's taken me nearly 30 years to seek help, but since the trauma I still have the same outlook on love. I suffer from CPTSD and have all the nasty symptoms associated with it, but I still view love as the only thing that...
  22. J

    Depressive Realism

    My therapist is always telling me to utilize "radical acceptance", but I'm stuck viewing all the truths of the world.
  23. J

    Depressive Realism

    Are we truly victims of a disease or did we just have the veil shattered and now we see the world for the shithole it is? I'm tired of feeling like I always have to cover and pretend to be someone I'm not. I'm not the problem, the rest of the world is.
  24. J

    Oa

    The entire time I watched I kept thinking it was about mental illness. I was triggered dozens of time. Losing my shit every episode. Loved it!
  25. J

    Losing Time

    After the trauma I went through I began having memory blackouts. It's taken me my entire life to notice what was happening. My illness is so severe I can't even describe any of my feelings to the point my therapist has to give me a children's feelings chart and most of the time I still can't...
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