Codependent + Codependent

[Engineer]

A relationship with both people suffering from Co-dependency. How would this work?

 

[joeylittle]

It wouldn't. They would be enmeshed, and the inner instability that each one would be experiencing would be very damaging to any relationship.

Is it supposed to work?

 

[Jordash]

I'm in this exact predicament. What we are doing to counter balance is becoming very good friends first. Its strange for.both of us because.we.are.both use to jumping straight in to a relationship. We are both taking DBT for.one year and force each other to attend and make sure they other one finishes their homework. We work on skill together and remind each other to use them when needed. Never say never we can over come anything if gig n Tue right perspective.

 

[ArtsyYogi]

It wouldn't. They would be enmeshed, and the inner instability that each one would be experiencing...

I have to agree with this. I'm a recovering codependent myself (but not a PTSD sufferer.) Unless both parties were seeking quality professional help for their codependency and more importantly both parties were honest with themselves about what dysfunction their own codependency brought to the relationship...it won't work. Both people would end up resenting and feeling victimized by the other person.

 

[Justmehere]

e are both taking DBT for.one year and force each other to attend and make sure they other one finishes their homework. We work on skill together and remind each other to use them when needed. Never say never we can over come anything if gig n Tue right perspective.

It's great you are both doing DBT. The way you are going about it seems awfully enmeshed. For example, should not be forcing another to go, but each person making the choice that they are their own person choosing to do DBT.

No relationship is perfect. However, there are some relationship matchings that can be particularly disastrous. Part of the problem of codependency is that it destroys relationship between two people. It ends up being one merged thing, and it's not in a healthy way. I am me and you are you --- and the relationship is what happens between us. Codependent people don't have that space where each person is their own person.

Two codependent people who have been working on their co-dependency for a long time, and can recognize it and work towards healthier ways to connect might work out. But two codependent people who can't pull out of it will not work out.