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  1. M

    I Have No Outlet

    I relate to you as I lie on this makeshift bed in an unfurnished house, after spending 9 hours painting today. I left my husband of 10 years earlier this week. It was a hard decision, he is a wonderful man. However I feel nothing, I mean nothing for him. I am so numb that I too made the decision...
  2. M

    Insomnia Is Getting Worse

    I have taken many of prescription sleep meds and more recently was prescribed Tarazadone 100 mg. I do have insomnia and have tried everything over the counter and nothing has helped. Tarazadone has been the best for me. It's a given if I don't take it, I will not sleep.
  3. M

    Does Anyone Have Nightmares That Are Not About Trauma?

    All the time, quite often I had nightmares, only dreams I could remember. Typically I will wake my husband up screaming, and he will shake me awake. I have asked him to do this because I've never been able to stop these nightmares on my own. I would dream vividly about always being chased in...
  4. M

    Relationship Issues

    Hi! I'm sorry for this situation you are in. I understand it though. In fact, I'm about to tell my husband I'll be moving out. I do have major depression, PTSD and my recent diagnosis of PTSD has changed everything in regard to my marriage of 10 years. I finally understand what that stupid...
  5. M

    Who Is That?

    Thank you Sweet_E! Your questions are also mine. I feel as though I cannot answer the questions about my marriage until I focus on me, facing my traumas, growing up in a physically and emotionally abusive home, I was raped when I was 14, my first husband was a police officer, authority figure...
  6. M

    Who Is That?

    St.Patrick's day 2017, celebrating 10 years of marriage to a wonderful man. Has it REALLY been 10 years? I look at the photos of this special day, I looked happy enough. I'm frustrated that I literally can't recall how I felt, what was it like that day? If I truly was happy then, why aren't I...
  7. M

    Do You Have Any Friends?

    It seems to be more challenging for me to want friendships. It's a vicious cycle for me, I am an introvert so I definitely enjoy alone time to recharge. Aside from that, I'm in my head a ton and find maintaining friendships to be overwhelming emotionally. I often choose to be alone and like it...
  8. M

    Dealing With Possible Break Up/moving Out

    Wish I could say something insightful. I'm going through something similar. I have a wonderful husband of 10 years. Just realized I've opened a Pandora's box of issues I need to work through, marriage aside. All I know is this is my journey alone, I'll work on me at my own pace, may be a long...
  9. M

    Having A Hard Time Accepting Diagnosis

    Hi! I'm new too and can relate to having a hard time accepting recent diagnosis. I feel like a phony only in that, I've realized I've been pretending to be "ok" for most of my life. Without going into all the details, I'm realizing that I'm not ok, I'm hurt, angry, self imploding and slowly...
  10. M

    Love Of My Life Turned To Ice

    Agreed. Finding the words, then communicating them, even in a way that would be comprehensible is often impossible. There's a great deal of time spent in ones head, which is often a frightening place and so guarded it makes Fort Knox look sick.
  11. M

    Love In The Wake Of Trauma

    I'm dealing with this very issue. After 10 years of a marriage to a great guy. I've realized I've been fooling myself for so long that it's gotten me where I've always ended up.... Nowhere. I'm extremely detached and numb. We no longer have sex, intimacy or physical affection. I can't bear the...
  12. M

    Sufferer Disassociated And Numb

    Thank you Deadman. I am starting therapy again. I suppose what I'm saying is I'm only focusing my therapy on me not my marriage. I really do appreciate the thoughts, advice and experiences shared. Thank you.
  13. M

    Sufferer Disassociated And Numb

    Thank you! Don't want to sound callous about my marriage, but I'm not ready to hash out my own issues. Feel like I've been hit by a freight train. I know I need to, but it's important for me to go into therapy wanting to be in therapy. I don't know when that will be. I've spent over 30 years of...
  14. M

    Sufferer Disassociated And Numb

    Hi! Recently diagnosed with PTSD. I also have major depression which I've been on meds for 20 years. For the past few years I've had difficulty with disassociation, numbness, memory loss. This state is ruining my marriage of 10 years. My husband says he loves me unconditionally, he loves me...
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