I Have No Outlet

[Tinyflame]

I'm glad @Fox .

Yes I thought myself today, can it even be called friendship when you don't say hello, or can't pronounce each other's names correctly, or there's no time for the other. Etc. Probably not. :( But then, when I am treated kindly, or forgiven, or helped, those are qualities of friendship. Or maybe just testimony to the other's character or job, Idk. I guess so.

Good for you if you still have time, energy. As with @Dexter Engvik , there's a worfld of opportunity ahead.

:hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Must leave but ETA, you see any choice has consequences, it's all a struggle.

The sense I get from the thread is- and it's something much better understood on this forum than irl by-and-large, is that, for most people 'no man is an island', and they're searching for a SO, etc. But here, or rather after, abuse, betrayal, & harm, many people here it's very difficult to imagine anything different in the future, or impossible-feeling to overcome the fear and expectation of more of the same. Because any time death feels preferable to the options left, those options feel impossible or only likely to cause more pain and grief.

I think a lot of the pain and grief and fear are what continue to wreak havoc long after the experiences. Anger too sometimes results but I think the root cause is closer to pain, feeling hopeless. JMHO thoough.

 

[Marie76]

I can't feel or show love or affection. I don't feel joy, and the thought of sharing my life with...

I relate to you as I lie on this makeshift bed in an unfurnished house, after spending 9 hours painting today. I left my husband of 10 years earlier this week. It was a hard decision, he is a wonderful man. However I feel nothing, I mean nothing for him. I am so numb that I too made the decision to be broken alone than to be broken with my husband wondering and waiting for a sign of life. My fears are yours as well. What if this is my life, never to have real, genuine, positive feelings? If that is my destiny, I chose to go it alone. I feel that I have devastated him. I too have been devastated in my recent diagnosis. I have been living with PTSD undiagnosed for almost 30 years. Please know you're certainly not alone.