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Thank you, Grit! What you said has given me a lot of food for thought. Gonna chew on it for awhile.

It’s very comforting to hear that you were able to work through it! I asked my therapist about attachment and his experience with it (cause I feel like a freak) and he was so reassuring that it was completely ok. I said a lot of stuff I was afraid to and I did it with relative ease once I...

I have, just a bit ago. It went really well! I had a list of things I was ashamed of and ended up talking about all but 2 of them. Like I didn’t hand it to him, I looked him in the eye when we talked about it. I was so proud! It felt so scary until I started and then the shame that I was...

I’m so glad you were able to get the same stuff out and that it was a positive experience for you! He knows I’m attached but not all the little things like jealousy (although I mentioned something about it yesterday on the phone with him). I have made jokes about it but haven’t ever been...

Good memory. I did. And I actually found a piece of paper last night that had all the reasons why I wanted to leave my last t (I used to think of terminating all the time with her and it’s starting again with the new one) and all but 3 of the reasons I listed are exactly the same for my current...

I had written him an email about wanting to take a break and had admitted in it that it was about the feelings I was having. He’s known for a long time that I think he thinks bad thoughts about me and that’s been a big issue and of course that relates to childhood. So does the jealousy and...

I guess cause it’s getting in the way of the work so therefore it becomes the work. Cause I’m gonna leave therapy over it otherwise. Cause shame needs to be talked about. Cause I don’t want to keep secrets.

I don’t quite know how this happened but tomorrow I will. About the childlike stuff. The jealousy when he talks about other people or clients, how I want to be friends, how I feign that our lighter sessions are a waste of time when really, afterwards, I feel a longing for that... For that kind...

Thanks for your reply! My t and I are in a good place. I told him about my fears of this and I feel good about it again. Our first session (through a secure messaging app) is tomorrow. The deal is I get to email him all I want during the week and he will spend 30 min reading (without replying...

You can’t make the thoughts go away with force or will. I’m very sorry! It makes a lot of sense, though, right? Here is someone who cares and accepts you and makes the entire therapy hour all about YOU. YOU get all your needs met in that session from him and get his care so how could you NOT...

I love that your t said you can text her to know she’s there! That’s so sweet! I’m so relieved to hear it’s something that helped you. I’m gonna talk to my t about it a bit and actually gonna try to text him in session. I think that way I can get some stuff out and be in the same room and that...

Mine seems to only have the one “therapist” mood. Although he tells me if he feels tired or something. But he acts the same each week. I’d think that would be really hard. I can’t smile at people if I’m not feeling it so props to him.

There really isn’t a treatment plan though. Like EMDR is on the to-do list but other than that, I show up and say whatever. I don’t know exactly what I need to say to change myself in the ways I want so I don’t really say a whole lot at all about my own stuff. And it’s good for the part of me...

I would feel so embarrassed and also horrible for making him read soooooo much at once. I don’t like making people I care about do anything for me. But there IS a lot of good stuff here and this all would be good for him to know. Hmm.

He’s told me countless times I can email so I’m sure it would be ok. I’M the one who thinks it’s a burden on him, not him. I really love the idea of still writing to him and think a very short reply, though somewhat disappointing, will be ok. I’m embarrassed to admit I save his responses and...

Thanks for your comment! No, he’s charging me the same amount for the messaging session. I don’t believe he cares MORE for me than others. I think he just cares a lot about everyone. Which is really awesome. I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think I feel more special than his other...

Yeah I do want growth and to be more open in person. I think I’m gonna tell him all this stuff in an email. All my fears and how I really want it but how there’s a chance it could be detrimental. And then we can decide together or clear things up a bit before moving forward.

Fantastic comment and no, I appreciate the honesty! I think you’re kind of right. And while I DO know he does whatever he can for his clients, I DO feel extra special and cared for. But I think he wants that? Like he wants me to feel cared for and I do. I really like your idea of sending him a...

Another thing I just wanted to add really quick: I get so nervous there and I’m so scared to talk. When I have brave moments I DO share things I think he needs to know. Or I hint and then try again the next week. I don’t like to email him because I feel like I’m bothering him so I try to...

I’m embarrassed about the obsession thing. Ok so I felt really weird about the maternal transference with my last t. When I feel that awkward I make jokes. So I joked about locking her in a cage. Super creepy, right??!!! But my thought was if she laughed then she wasnt afraid of me and maybe...

Thank you for your comment. I think it’s something I’ll really pay attention to. It may not even go as well as I hope it will, you know? But good point to be concerned. I don’t believe boundaries WOULD be crossed. He genuinely wants to help me and is thinking this is a way. Him and I are good...

It’s one additional session a week, though. As a way to work towards making our in-person sessions more productive since I can be more open in writing and the goal is to being that to the room. And emails he does allow without a limit and I see your point there although he will charge if it...

Thank you soooo much for such a detailed comment. So many good questions. I should’ve been more clear with the extra contact details. Basically email has always been open. He charges for more than 10 min of his time. That’s his boundary. I have been good to not abuse it and feel like that will...

I think that’s a really good idea. Like plan out what this would look like if it was crossing into unhealthy territory. I’m gonna talk to him about that. Thank you!

Actually yeah. Well sort of. I joked about it. I alluded to it. I hinted about it. So no. I guess there’s that fear of him pulling the plug on it if I make him think it could potentially be damaging. But he’s fully aware of last therapist issues and my worries about transference stuff happening...