Therapists mood

[Surfergal]

I think like a lot of people here that I grew up needing to pay a lot of attention to the moods of other...

I do have difficulty not letting other peoples moods affect me and it's not just going to stop because I realize that logically I shouldn't. In the session, I have tried to just ignore it and continue on as yes I am 99.9% sure I know it has nothing to do with me etc but I just can't seem to let it go and it always pulls me back in. My brain then focuses on it no matter how much I tell it not too and it impacts my session. It is as if it senses a threat and goes into detective mood trying to figure out what it could be. Again this is what I had to do growing up to survive so it makes sense that it does this.

To me, that means it should be part of the session and should not just be ignored and brushed past. Not confirming what I feel like I am picking up is invalidating and it causes me to doubt my perceptions. I know we are never, all the same, every day and there is nothing wrong with shifts in moods of course. As an example, if I was out with an acquaintance, colleague or a friend and I felt their mood had changed from how I generally find them to be I might say 'Is everything okay you seem different today?' Responses usually include...'Oh I'm just tired' or 'I'm fine just a bit annoyed/worried about something'. They don't have to share any more than that if they don't want to and I don't quiz them on what those things are but just having them confirm what I noticed is helpful and validating. My detective brain backs off and I no longer look for the threat.

I just don't get why some therapists see it as a bad thing so was wondering other peoples experiences.

 

[Mee]

I tend to pay attention moods of people around me and am aware of them. My therapist however presents a consistent way of being in our sessions. She DOES show emotion but it’s about my stuff. It has come up in her explaining her way of working that she will bring an example of her life to our sessions if she feels it useful to me; but that’s hapoened once.

I REALLY like my therapist and find her warm and charming and great to work with but she is a consummate professional ( or has been so far) and that’s part of what I like about working with her. She is both real and focused on her job . I do know she had surgery since I was her client ? Patient? But I chose not to send a get well card or anything so as not to challenge that professional boundary.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Mine seems to only have the one “therapist” mood. Although he tells me if he feels tired or something. But he acts the same each week. I’d think that would be really hard. I can’t smile at people if I’m not feeling it so props to him.

 

[ShadowWolf]

My therapist's mood doesn't seem different to me. (And I've been seeing him for over a year now.) There was one time I felt like he was slightly off, and like we were talking past each other. The next session he did say that his eyes had been bothering him or he was tired; I can't remember what exactly, but he admitted that it affected him.

I do occasionally comment on him, but more as an observation. Like, last week I was feeling very anxious at one point, and I try to speak to my feelings, so I said "I'm feeling anxious." But as I was saying it, I noticed that he looked calm, which was very different than I was feeling. So I said, "You look very calm." After I commented, he confirmed that he was indeed feeling calm. And he said my anxiety doesn't bother him. And I thought about it, and I decided that was a good thing. But originally it was just an observation, because his presentation was so different than mine.

I think most of the time I'm so caught up in myself or in my own head, I don't actually pay much attention to him. (For the first few months I mostly looked at his shoes, not his face.) But in general, I'm totally aware and observant of people's moods, because if they change, I start getting stressed out.