All the connection i could possibly desire but is it healthy?

[UnicornSightings]

I didn’t read every response yet, but wanted to comment because I do have a similar amount of commun...

I love that your t said you can text her to know she’s there! That’s so sweet! I’m so relieved to hear it’s something that helped you. I’m gonna talk to my t about it a bit and actually gonna try to text him in session. I think that way I can get some stuff out and be in the same room and that would be good for me. Keep working on being able to fully open up.

And yeah, attachment really sucks. Although I just started a new thing last night where every time I think about him I label it and return to me, what I’m doing in my life and in that moment. Just keep going back to myself and use those fantasies as a mindfulness technique and not judge them. They are super boring fantasies about just connecting and talking about something lol.

 

[hithere]

I think this has the potential to be really great for you. As far obsessing, making yourself vulnerable to the therapist, fear of attachment issues,etc. There is a "high" that comes from the newness of connection, and then there is a crash as all highs come down, so that's where the obsession starts. Like drugs, you get a high, you come down, you want to get high again. It becomes not enough...turns into dependancy. I think writing on the app for a session sounds great. Is it like texting? texting sessions or chat sessions could be very helpful. Then talk about it face to face. I can see this working. You do need to tell him about your fear of obsessing about him and therapy,even though that is scary. The ultimate goal is for you to not feel so alone in the world, but the therapist is not to be the "other" --just a helper teacher, coach to get you there.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I think this has the potential to be really great for you. As far obsessing, making yourself vulnerable...

Thanks for your reply! My t and I are in a good place. I told him about my fears of this and I feel good about it again. Our first session (through a secure messaging app) is tomorrow. The deal is I get to email him all I want during the week and he will spend 30 min reading (without replying much). Then, when our messaging session comes up, we talk about the stuff in greater detail. I actually emailed some really sensitive stuff the other day. I had really thought I told my last t everything (well, I had said “these are my issues” without any detail) but old and new stuff is coming up and I can address it in writing to my current t. I feel cared for for the very first time in my life and it feels amazing. And when I tell him how much I appreciate him it seems to make a lot of that shame about liking someone so much go away a bit. So far this is proving to be really good for me.

 

[hithere]

Thanks for your reply! My t and I are in a good place. I told him about my fears of this and...

this is really awesome I think. I turned a corner with my therapist recently too and I have to admit it does feel quite nice to NOT BE ASHAMED for "wanting" the care or support. In receiving some of therpists support recently I have had better days and honestly that "obsession" thing dissipated as I felt more calm in my real life. It's very freeing actually. Here's to both of us gaining ground on the receiving care and support without fear or shame! I would like to hear how this goes after you've done this for a while, if you are willing to share it.