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    Pain, depression, and hopelessness

    This neck pain is rather depressing by this point. I dont know how to afford to exist. Some days I try to be hopeful and watch success videos. But sometimes my pain is too much and I just need to lay down. It's just getting depressing wasting away unable to earn any money to pay bills for...
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    Death Cancer took my love away

    It's still very hard for me to understand any of it. How she was in pain for so very long in life after a surgery that was supposed to save her life from cancer many years ago. She spent half her life in and out of the hospital getting check ups or scans. She was such a hopeful person when I met...
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    Death Cancer took my love away

    Yes grief, schock, I suppose care giver burnout. It was hard for us to try and survive being in and out of the hospital all the time. We went through a lot of sickness together for some reason. Our lives were at our peak when we met. It's hard to imagine we would both end up so sick for...
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    Death Cancer took my love away

    It's been seven months now. She went in for checkups yearly to make sure there was no cancer. She had many unfortunate ER visits complaining about internal pain they could never find. I would go with her. They never found anything although she was getting very sick the last year. By the time...
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    Death My care partner has passed away

    She had been struggling with Familial adenomatous polyposis most of her life. I had been in the hospital with her every day since the beginning of June. She was scheduled for a surgery that was supposed to remove it. But her health took a quick decline and they were concerned she would not...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Well there's been much for me to process. I came to realize some weeks ago it is very hard for me to share my experiences of what created the PTSD because some people get very upset. Mad, disappointed, disbelief. If I were to tell you I also found out the my therapist has only been a nurse...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    I haven't been in a stable place last week or so to get on this forum. Things got hectic and I just had to adapt again. This question is somewhat hard for me as I have severe trouble on some days as opposed to all the things I used to do. I spend much of my time laying on my side with proper...
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    Little understanding from family

    I am trying to stay with family while I try to cope and recover. They don't seem to understand PTSD. They never had to really go through a non civilian experience. It's not the military either. I had to endure some serious duress and the injury I got from trying to just do my job so I could...
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    Internet filter for triggering content

    A good idea may be to search for lots of things that make you happy or relaxed. Lots of browsers work by what you search for usually. If you don't fill it with information you want it kind of guesses what you want to see. So if you fill your searches with good things, the engines should keep...
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    Musicians with spinal fusion

    I use to play guitar or bass before my spinal cord injury changed how I live. Standing with an instrument is too risky and sitting with it I am only good for 15 or 20 minutes. I noticed at one point when I tried to get out and socialize at a local show with some friends, the vibrations were...
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    Tired of being a burden

    I have tried to hang in there. I have had the worst luck with support. For those who don't know my story, I've had a spinal cord injury twice. First from working, second from a car crash leaving physical therapy for the first time it got injured. So I've had some awful luck. I will need fusion...
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    Getting use to a damaged body

    I have to lay down constantly when my back pain acts up. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. I'm afraid to go anywhere for long for this reason. I had been on job interviews during treatments to help lift my spirits. But it was clear I had physical limitations that excluded me from being a...
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    Dom Violence Accused of gas lighting

    Thank you everyone. You've helped me feel a little better. He is gone and we are just hoping for the best. My recovery etc. As or my x-girlfriend, she has Familial adenomatous polyposis FAP. I spent much time in and out of the ER with her. She needs IV fluids almost every other day and has been...
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    Dom Violence Accused of gas lighting

    Something been weighing on my mind. It is hard for me to go into as I had been through so much already. But it bothers me so much that I went through it. This person accused me of gas lighting once. I had no idea what he was talking about. My mother had been dating a guy. When I first met him...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    I was in shock with the first injury. So I was always unsure how extensive it was. Most of the bone spurs from what I understood have seem to be the usual result of excessive wear and tear. A bit more progressed than someone my age. But I guess thats expected when you worked labor. Drilling can...
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    Wake up angry and in pain

    Or while trying to sleep. The dreams happen. It's the same thing over and over. I was stressed at my job to meet a deadline. I was threatened by one boss if I let myself get hurt, they would find me and throw my body off a roof. And the other boss wanted me to work double time cutting safety...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Hi there Esterio They say there is also a spur in my neck that locks up when I turn my head. It makes me dizzy at times. So they want to shave that down, there's only so much bone they can remove from the neck the doctor said. So that one surgery which may not restore motion will mean I will...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Well I have an appointment coming up this month at another hospital with a new orthopedist just to have yet another opinion on the procedure and what parts will be used. The last doctors I had talked to had told me that I would pretty much end up fusing everything over time below my c2. And...
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    Social security

    I wanted to talk a little about my experience applying for SSDI and how I tried to take my denial of benefits as a hope I wouldn't need it. To try and make a long story short. I have worked labor intensive jobs most of my life. It was not until I had an opportunity to apply for the skilled...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    I like to believe in Karma as well. I also hope justice can make it happen. I'm still trying to get used to opening up about this stuff. I have met with therapist here and there but an hour is only ever enough to get started. And then it's I recommend anti-depressants for you. I'm starting to...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Wow JJ, you are very good with words too. And I appreciate that. I was only attempting to be a model employee as you put it. There were some super stars in there already. And I was just some kid who worked his way up being reliable and consistent. Several years of perfect attendance was not...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    No you have not come across as insensitive. I just get conflicted by wanting to let it go, yet sticking up and fighting for my rights as a human being. One thing I realized is someone put a lot of this into my head. And I wish I didn't have to experience some of it. So I want to stop myself when...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Not my monkeys, not my circus. Good one. Walking away and moving on from people like that was easy. I believe the PTSD came from the fact I couldn't walk from a spinal injury. And lived in physical pain from it for years to this day. That and the whole psoriasis and photochemo treatment...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Now I feel like I should keep going with how that experience with this other shop unfolded. Because bottling it up and being told I need to 'keep my mouth shut' about what was supposed to be some hazing only meant to test your nerve. Its eating at my soul and I want to be free of it. So about a...
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    Sufferer Spinal Cord Injury

    Sorry to hear about so much exposure to toxic environments. After the spinal cord injury, I started to develop a red rash were my right shin I guess hit the stairwell as I fell. Being in pain all over from my core was my primary concern. So this little bruise on my shin seemed like a minor...
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