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Haven't been doing well on the sleep. Wednesday we finally had a chance to spend together, but it was just...not the same. Went out to go fishing, and it was a bust. Then we went home. But rather than go to bed, we ended up watching stand up comedy and talking, smoking a bit. And then of course...

It is SO easy to put ourselves on the back burner. I am quick to do so and without even thinking of it. Last night was more of the same. Instead of being a nice evening with DH and the boys, it was a nice evening with the boys. DH worked late and came home exhausted. He ate. We talked. The...

@Rain, I was terrified. Thankfully the kids were in bed. But I still ask myself, what if I had stayed later with my friend? If I hadn't come home when I did, what would have happened? I wasn't home more than 15 minutes before that happened. The kids were asleep and the only person was my...

I haven't been around as much. Really busy at work and that is my only time where I have privacy enough to write. Last night was the scariest thing I have seen in a long time. DH has Norco's for his tooth pain (we need to find a way to pay for 2 extractions). Well, apparently, he was dehydrated...

Tonight is the show. I am having some anxiety, but not too terrible. It's manageable at least. When DH used to go out a few years ago, he would tell me he would be home at midnight or some such time. But he never was. He would come home when he felt like it and all f*cked up. Meanwhile I got up...

Happy Monday morning! Well, it's not morning anymore. I am eating my lunch at work. It's been a fairly uneventful week, actually. DH hasn't had anything to drink for days and our household seems to be quieting down for a change. I'm really glad. It's giving my mind the ability to rest which I...

Every day is something new. Last night (after a long day of work and a long few hours d*cking around with my car at the auto repair place, I went home and got some things done. DH decided we would have sex. Normally, this would be really friggin awesome because it is rare that he comes on to me...

Well, it's morning! Things were calm last night. I got some homework done and hung out a bit with my boys. My BFF called. Her dad is in the hospital and has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Stage 4. My own Daddy died of cancer, so I know what that road can be like. But he lived far...

Well, there is much to say since that last post. DH did come home f*cked up. He was a real a**hole. I cried all night and we had a huge fight the next morning. Things were tense for most of the week. His fighting really scared me. When he's like that and we fight, that's when the verbal abuse...

Friday!! I am SOOOO happy it's the end of the week. DH and I have our show tonight, which I am excited about. And I have plans to be with friends for the weekend, so I'm really happy about that. DH is going to an all day music fest Sunday. So I expect him home late and sh*t-faced. I may sleep on...

Oh Eve, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you posted. Even if you have an arrangement with a guy that works for both of you, without even calling it a relationship, your post is appropriate. When I was going through some of my worst moments (and...

It's a new day. I took yesterday off to go pay the schools and change my name. I'm officially Mrs. DH! I'm really happy about that though my driver's license photo looks like I wanna die. Hahaha! It's a terrible photo!! Work isn't too terrible today. I always have anxiety in the morning before...

Eve, My ex-husband is on the spectrum (and so is our 12 year old son). Unfortunately, our relationship did NOT work. I was doing all the giving, taking all the responsibility and he was doing what he wanted when he wanted. He also could not have meaningful conversations or express love in the...

It's been interesting. I saw T over the weekend. She and I sat down with the DSM-5 and went over the specifics of the definition and characteristics. She really put my mind at ease. We also talked about the "rape" scenario. Again she really put my mind to rest about it. She has a way of talking...

I am really sorry to hear. Grief is really okay. Don't fight yourself and just allow it to work its way through you. You've been very brave. I am sorry this is not what you hoped for. Sending a hug for you.

Chris, I'm really happy for you. All the positive days are victories and it sounds like you've already had a few! And when the bad days come up again, take heart. You can do this!

@Rain thank you for that.

Well...after reviewing a thread on a different board, I am second-guessing my diagnosis. My T is indeed a trauma specialist. She's the one that diagnosed me in the first place. And when she did, everything made sense and lined up. Why am I terrified when a song comes on? Why am I terrified of...

Bad news. Because with all my other stress, I need more. Back story: My oldest son has autism. He was diagnosed at the age of 3 when my younger son was an infant. It was around this time that we found out that my Ex had Asperger's (which I posted about). Well, older son F went to a public...

Well, here's what happened. His friend didn't go. But it didn't matter. Friday night we went to the concert. Started fighting. He started drinking and set me off. I started drinking because I'm at a f*cking concert and that's not the time to start freaking out. So I was doing shots. Then he got...

Well that's really strong of you. You get twitchy skin too? I feel like my skin starts crawling. Not like bugs, but like my skin is alive. How did you manage your night?

Albatross, we talked about it because that is exactly what I thought. I just won't go. He was really put out. He's still mad about it this morning. I also tried coming up with strategies like driving separately (allowing myself that space to leave and not being trapped there). He was just as mad...

I am not good right now. I should be more careful about when I write about things. I set myself up to be vulnerable. Then DH went out and bought beer tonight. And he invited his pot-head, alcoholic friend to come on our trip for the weekend. I don't feel safe at all. Everything is very scary. I...

Hi and welcome! I do have this happen too. And it's not fun. My husband and I are recovering from our latest bout of triggers and shut downs. He isolates himself and shuts me out which terrifies me to the point of desperation. I panic. I cry. I totally lose it. Will it always be an issue...

So, I want to talk about something. I've been reading other posts on the forums and some of them include rape. I don't think I told the story of my "rape". I put it in quotes because I don't believe it was rape. But I've been told it was. And I also think it was a very f*cked up scenario. I...