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And, yes, our relationship wasn't healthy because it was based on a broken promise. As a therapist, he promised to do no harm, he promised to not have his needs met via me, he promised to uphold the ethical and legal boundaries, and he promised to make it only about me, to help me. And he broke...

Thank you. Yes, it was both. We had so much in common. I know you'll all downplay this or say I'm making it up or putting too much on it, but we did enjoy each other's company even before The transference happened. But, yes, i do indeed miss that father figure who was kind and accepting and...

I am nowhere near over him. I miss my therapist and miss the love relationship we had, and I think about him everyday. But I have learned so much from my new therapist and so there's a part of me that is angry at him for failing me and for getting his needs met through an improper source...

You are very sweet to check in and I really appreciate your point of view. I'm also so sorry you also had to deal with crappy men. So, you will be happy to know that I am seeing a fabulous woman psychologist weekly who specializes in this (erotic transference/counter transference boundary...

:) thank you.

Yes, you hit the nail on the head. My father was emotionally cold and basically rejected me. Then I was raped at 17 by a father figure (friend's dad), so, yes, I'm trying to actualize a better relationship than my history...so I'm attracted to older men. Oy. Anyway, thank you very much for your...

Thank you, everyone! This validation that I did nothing wrong is extremely helpful. Now to get to the bottom of why I'm attracted to older men, why I seek out unhealthy and abusive relationships with men, why I keep trying so hard after I've been rejected, and how I can overcome this and date a...

I suppose I should give you all an update on what has happened. We ran into each other last week near his office. My divorce mediator is located very close to his office, not by choice. Anyway I got out of the meeting and ran into him. We went up to his office to talk. He explained some things...

This made me teary - thank you so much.

Thank you :) and thank you to everyone who has offered me their advice and support on here!! Wow!!!

You're right - I don't see it. It's not that I am not accepting it, I just don't see it. And I don't feel damaged. It's been 9 days and I don't feel abandoned or hurt, I just feel sad that our love relationship is over...like I've felt when I broke up with boyfriends in the past. We actually ran...

Yes, I would appreciate if you could stop replying on here. I will make sure not to loop you in again - not sure how that happened, sorry.

Thank you.

Whoops sorry for all the typos! thank you. Not in relationships. Relationships with MEN. I feel happy and cofortable with women and I'm able to be myself, they accept me for who I am. But with men I have always felt just so very uncomfortable. My T and I were getting to this when....

My T and I talked everyday about how we could make it work, if we should end it wait for each other, wait until I am divorced and wait until he's retired. This was. Huge topic of conversation, and maybe it was the step choice we would make if the Business soar red hadn't found out. Yes, I am...

Thank you very much for this insight. I am very aware that that is what's happening, that I am love sick. Yes, this is happening while I am divorcing my husband. A little more about me: I've lived in the cycle of abuse for 9 years, he is not only verbally abusive but also physically abusive (in...

Thank you so much, Junebug. Xx

Thank you very much for your insight.

Ohh thank you and I'm so glad this is helping someone! I thought that even if I get nothing out of it (I a gettting a lot out of it!) it would be good to have it up so that others in my situation can know they aren't alone. Thank you It is now worth it to mention that my new brilliant fremale...

It's ok, I appreciate your point of view.

Thank you. thank you This is so incredibly helpful and kind. Thank you so very much. THANK YOU.

I will take this to my new therapist. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Also, I hadn't wanted to say anything more about myself. But it might be good for you all to know that I used to be a very well-known, successful fashion model. This is absolutely not how I value myself (anymore), but it might provide some insight into why he let the boundaries disappear so easily.

And FYI to everyone reading this, I am seeing a psychologist (female) who specializes in erotic transference and countertransference. She is brilliant (hence then cost of $400/session) and I am lucky to have found her. I have been seeing her twice a week and will continue that for months. Thank...

Thank you. Yes, I told him about my desire to be with men who are much older and who are authority figures. He fully capitalized on that. I realize this. However, I do not go around having affairs and looking to create emotional intimacy with people. I haven't done anything remotely like that...