Sex with therapist

[Tinyflame]

With all due respect though, and I mean this with gentleness, I must say I'm not quite following the logic: care-taking is not ruining someone's career (and you didn't mention if he's married, but it's already illegal or against required ethics); you say your children are well-adjusted, yet they've been witnessing abuse their entire lives; other men didn't except you as you are, but it was your choice to present what you thought they liked, they may actually have been very supportive of being yourself but you never gave them that chance; being looked on as 'magic' or adored feeds our ego's but has little to do with love or more specifically showing your own love through giving.

I hope if necessary your children can receive some help.

 

[Rumors]

Also, I hadn't wanted to say anything more about myself. But it might be good for you all to know tha...

That would be an extraordinarily difficult life to lead. People always judging you based on how you look. I am certainly not a super model, but my husband would say I am not half bad and there is nothing better than to leave my house in sweats and a baseball cap and head to Target. No one cares..except those are the times where you run in to everyone you know! Lol.
I think it is interesting how beautiful you are yet so insecure in relationships. That isn't meant to be critical because I am certainly the same way. However, your posts seem deep and understanding and very much in tune with other people and how they feel, yet you settle for in your own life. I hope you will give back to yourself as much as you seem to give to others especially when it comes to benefit of the doubt. It is really tough when all you want is to genuinely connect with someone on a deeper level and then you find out they were really just another asshole. Sorry....

 

[Toralu312]

With all due respect though, and I mean this with gentleness, I must say I'm not quite following the log...

My T and I talked everyday about how we could make it work, if we should end it wait for each other, wait until I am divorced and wait until he's retired. This was. Huge topic of conversation, and maybe it was the step choice we would make if the Business soar red hadn't found out.

Yes, I am in family therapy with my kids. My husband refuses to go.

And you're wrong, almost every relationship I've been in with a man I've been abused. So instead of leaving I changed myself over and over to please them. It never worked of course because they weren't happy with themselves. And so I'd try to change myself, try to make them happy, until it got to the point where they would cheat on me or dump me. I've dated awful people. Wow.

 

[Toralu312]

My T and I talked everyday about how we could make it work, if we should end it wait for each other,...

Whoops sorry for all the typos!

That would be an extraordinarily difficult life to lead. People always judging you based on how you look...

thank you. Not in relationships. Relationships with MEN. I feel happy and cofortable with women and I'm able to be myself, they accept me for who I am. But with men I have always felt just so very uncomfortable. My T and I were getting to this when....

 

[Jake]

I acknowledged that he exploited me. But then when we fell in love it was clear that we were truly in...

Only you know how you feel now, after the fact. Despite "Ethical or Licensing" questions, such boundaries are in place to prevent manipulative, controlling therapist "players", from fraudulently using patients. Do you believe that was ever your case? Only you can judge the truthfulness of benefit or hurt from your relationship, in the end.
I have read a respected Psychiatrist quote that there are three modalities of treatment for trauma... Medication, Therapy and (validating) Support. The most effective of the three, long term, is support. Real love is support also. Ethics are man made statutes. You decide for yourself if you were helped.

 

[Toralu312]

Only you know how you feel now, after the fact. Despite "Ethical or Licensing" questions, such boundaries...

Thank you.

 

[The Albatross]

I would think in 6 pages you've made you're expressed point "just wanted others to know they aren't alone" known.

Look. If this served a beneficial purpose for you great, but that is an exception and not a norm, k?

I'm off the thread, not interested as this member is not inclined or open to other perceptions. Not exactly sure why the OP looped back to me anyways as I haven't actively participated for at least a couple pages or so and she's actively following this thread.

Sorry peachy pie, if you're so satisfied in your schema... then why'd you share them here?

 

[Toralu312]

Yes, I would appreciate if you could stop replying on here. I will make sure not to loop you in again - not sure how that happened, sorry.

 

[The Albatross]

Problem solved cuz you're on ignore.

 

[anthony]

All I'm going to say is -- your therapist should lose their license and never be allowed to practice again.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

My T loved everything about me, let me be myself, thought my cooking was the best food he'd ever eaten, thought my paintings were beautiful, loved that I do yoga and coach my daughter's soccer team, loves that I'm sensitive and emotional. He accepted me in therapy of course, and then accepted me once we had become lovers.

My therapist loves many things about me but if he then allowed and replied to my come ons (its been a while and come ons have stopped due to boundries but I know I would jump at the chance of becoming lovers, though he is married) that would be very preditory like. It would not be fair nor equal due to the position he is in, it would be a revictimization. Though you do not seem to want to accept that, that is exactly what he did. He also damaged you to a point that you cannot see it. I just hope that it isn't something that damages you to a point it did to me. It took years to sort that out though i am still damaged. And may always be to a point. So, I hope that isn't the case for you.

 

[Toralu312]

My therapist loves many things about me but if he then allowed and replied to my come ons (it...

You're right - I don't see it. It's not that I am not accepting it, I just don't see it. And I don't feel damaged. It's been 9 days and I don't feel abandoned or hurt, I just feel sad that our love relationship is over...like I've felt when I broke up with boyfriends in the past. We actually ran into each other on Friday and then spoke on the phone over the weekend. I found his reaction to me when we ran into each other and what he said to me on the phone extremely helpful and validating. And now I'm moving on until we are allowed to speak again - when I am divorced and when he's getting ready to retire...probably two years. Until then, I'm moving on.