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My T was reassuring this week about how a) the physical sensations can be the last thing to go becausewe don't always knowtheyre there and b) when we are aware of them, EMDR has great effect in reducing physical symptoms and responses. I feel your pain and frustration. God, the number of times...

So much in common.

Mine seem to, but I’m still learning...current triggers tend to reignite the same ones...but often there is one main trigger that starts the cycle/relapse. It was changing my daughters nappies that started the most recent ones and then I’m sensitive to all triggers...but yes the theme or scene...

Ok. It just feels painful and pointless. Maybe I’m not there- yet. I feel like if no one reads it then it’s just the same old thoughts going round in my head. I need validation of it all. But I can’t speak audible words of it all.

Diaries

That’s all...

I think this is a changing boundary in the therapeutic relationship where it has become well known that validation is more than just listening and movement away from the traditional professional boundaries where touch is not allowed. It makes sense to me tbh because yes one of the greatest...

Yes for me there are different backlashes too. Recently the flashbacks have been ramping up but I think it’s because it’s new territory on therapy. She asked me this week what I had done in previous therapy- certainly didn’t discuss specific details and kept it as one event...I just wish she...

I guess. And for me I’m still exploring aka sharing/admitting what happened so it feels very near the surface and raw a lot of the time. I think in the past I have had mostly emotional ones and couldn’t understand them or even what was going on but more recently the visual has been prominent. I...

To have a space where someone says OMG that’s awful, how can I help? To break a cycle To laugh again To be free in myself

Wow this is amazing thank you for sharing, my T keeps reminding me about practising grounding. I’m only 2 months in with her and it’s tough as it’s all new, I also have a lot of life changes on my plate which impact my awareness and I get caught off guard. Thank you for sharing this.

This is hard truth. I’m in my ‘cover’ phase of the whole cycle- cover with activity, responsibility, distraction. Having had the suicidal phase recently and now I guess feeling exposed and needing to be in control and protect myself...reliance on outside things to provide comfort and false support.

I guess I need to think more seriously about my recovery and realise there’s no quick fix and none of it will be easy. Thank you @blackemerald1

I’m not sure I’m ready to say the words but I know tomorrow I won’t be able to say ‘No’ to a drink...

Thanks @The Albatross . (What are SUDS...and concurring with PTSD- sorry my jargon is limited! I’m a newbie to all this)

Thank you for not making light of this (not that anyone else did) and for raising some real issues. Medication for PTSD/depression/insomnia is all really new to me and the drinking has always been a weakness/self medicating fall back. I appreciate the exhortation to not take this lightly but...

Which returns the original question ‘Only me?’

I am def drinking cos it’s 5pm and I’ve been waiting since 10am to crack open a ‘sharpener’...I just don’t know how not to.

Great thoughts here thanks guys- the liver one was something I overlooked as was the info on benzos.

Everytime I post my topic gets moved cos I don’t know the proper nomenclature for certain things like depersonalisation (no z cos I’m English!)...I’m pretty sure this is the right place this time... My meds say no alcohol- I don’t listen. Is it really that bad to take with alcohol? I hate being...

Yes I think so- as in any physical contact results in arousal followed by fear/guilt/shame- the same with emotional connection, anyone giving me any kindness or gentleness sends me through the motions and I think I just dissociate- everything just goes foggy I lose my train of thought and can’t...

Then it’s 24hrs a day for me...

Yes I know what you mean, the ones where you’re in it, doing it, being it, feeling it etc. I’d agree. But the flashes can be frequent, not necessarily long for me but they can drag me into a longer one.

I think he was my attachment and every relationship is linked into any interest and affection shown leads to sex- simple as that- sex I want to take part in so now I think of everyone who is nice to me as a potential sexual encounter/opportunity/task. I don’t really get the attachment styles or...

There’s a lot of comfort - he was my safety and attachment in the absence of my parents. He made me feel wanted and special and needed and that’s where the flashbacks start, a place of comfort which then goes awry. Distraction I do yes way more- keep busy but yes suddenly the triggers are...