Body Memories - How Do You Cope?

[Emotional girl]

For me the body memories are even worse than the flashbacks as they bring up shame,embarrassment and guilt.
In regards to flashbacks and how to deal with them.I have been told to rub my ear whilst at the same time you look at certain objects in the room and describe them to yourself.

 

[Hope for Healing]

How do you cope with disturbing body memories and intrusive thoughts? I always feel like someone is touching me down there. It feels so disgusting. Currently processing it in EMDR, but it seems to make the sensation worse. Sometimes younger people trigger me, I'm guessing since I was assaulted when I was underage. I hate it so much and just want to hit myself to make it stop. It makes me suicidal. I just want to clarify that there is NO pleasure or fantasy regarding my trigger. Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this?

I totally understand the horrible memories that are often blocked but re-lived when trying to sleep. There is no escaping it. :(

 

[Hope for Healing]

@shykittenxoxo , as @Lucycat has said above , you arent the only one and it doesnt say anything about you as a person. I have been through this and sometimes still do when having some flashbacks . Emdr has helped and even when processing i have the body feelings ... including feelings of arousal ... it took me ages to tell my T due to shame, guilt and embarrassment . I felt so ashamed i would self harm that part of my body . I was so relieved i told my T cos she totally understood and wasnt shocked or surprised - she explained to me that we cant control how our bodies react to touch and that being touched at an early age meant being sexualised at too early an age. So please share how you feel with your T - i know its hard but they can help you work through it.

I minimize going anywhere after years of trauma and denial. I pushed it down never to think of or face what I've known. The shame is bottomless. We all need some sort of healing and closure.

 

[Hope for Healing]

How do you cope with disturbing body memories and intrusive thoughts? I always feel like someone is touching me down there. It feels so disgusting. Currently processing it in EMDR, but it seems to make the sensation worse. Sometimes younger people trigger me, I'm guessing since I was assaulted when I was underage. I hate it so much and just want to hit myself to make it stop. It makes me suicidal. I just want to clarify that there is NO pleasure or fantasy regarding my trigger. Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this?

I've never been able to escape self-loathing or being a prisoner in my own existence. Perpetrators enjoy a life the rest of us don't.

 

[Snowflake]

I’m doing EMDR and she wants to know what it’s like for me....feeling and seeing. I don’t think I could tell her about how my body feels. I’m also ashamed because I don’t know exact terminology. I feel stupid

 

[brokenpony]

this is happening to me right now. i can feel the sensation in my genitals and a little bit of the pain. my skin is crawling and i feel the need to squirm. i need some time off from life.

 

[The Albatross]

The Body Keeps Score was integral for me. Dunno if anybody mentioned that book yet.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I recently had EMDR succeed at making some body memories go away (at least for the time being)

At first, it does seem to make the body memories worse, like EMDR will bring them up for sure. But then once reprocessing gets far enough, it can diminish or go away. It's only one body memory but, the body memories from an oral rape went away after my last reprocessing session, which was very productive (we had two back to back sessions, so two days in a row).

Right now I have a snotty nose and my brain doesnt think its semen, for the first time in soooooo f*cking long. My brain used to have phantom semen in my nose and mouth and throat every time I got a runny or stuffy nose, and just randomly or when triggered it would happen, and I'd feel the semen and other somatic stuff related to the incident.

I still have many more body memories that bother me, but it's good to know that they -can- go away. I keep worrying that it's just temporary and they'll come back, but so far it's been over a week without it happening.

 

[Freida]

I keep worrying that it's just temporary and they'll come back, but so far it's been over a week without it happening.

It might take a couple sessions to make sure, but the ones that I've gotten processed (all the way sigh) are gone gone. yay!

 

[meander]

My T was reassuring this week about how a) the physical sensations can be the last thing to go becausewe don't always knowtheyre there and b) when we are aware of them, EMDR has great effect in reducing physical symptoms and responses.
I feel your pain and frustration. God, the number of times I’ve left a therapy session soaking wet and felt disgusting!
I also had a reaction to my T this week and I’m interested in your experience about the age thing: I wondered if I was seeing her as me at that age (she is petite and childlike to look at with similar features to me). I don’t know how to tell her that but I did manage to tell her she was making me feel scared/u safe (as in I knew it was something about her not her specifically). How much do you trust your T? (as far as we folk are able).

 

[shykittenxoxo]

My T was reassuring this week about how a) the physical sensations can be the last thing to go becausewe don't always knowtheyre there and b) when we are aware of them, EMDR has great effect in reducing physical symptoms and responses.
I feel your pain and frustration. God, the number of times I’ve left a therapy session soaking wet and felt disgusting!
I also had a reaction to my T this week and I’m interested in your experience about the age thing: I wondered if I was seeing her as me at that age (she is petite and childlike to look at with similar features to me). I don’t know how to tell her that but I did manage to tell her she was making me feel scared/u safe (as in I knew it was something about her not her specifically). How much do you trust your T? (as far as we folk are able).

I trust mine a lot, she knows pretty much everything. She seems sympathetic and trying to help me as much as she can.

 

[zarae]

Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this?

you aint alone. struggling through this too