Body Memories - How Do You Cope?

[shykittenxoxo]

How do you cope with disturbing body memories and intrusive thoughts? I always feel like someone is touching me down there. It feels so disgusting. Currently processing it in EMDR, but it seems to make the sensation worse. Sometimes younger people trigger me, I'm guessing since I was assaulted when I was underage. I hate it so much and just want to hit myself to make it stop. It makes me suicidal. I just want to clarify that there is NO pleasure or fantasy regarding my trigger. Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this?

 

[Lucycat]

You are certainly not the only one @shykittenxoxo !
I used to suffer the same, and EMDR really helped. But, EMDR made it worse first, before it got better as it made me think hard about it. However, it will reduce in its impact once you have completed the EMDR and stopped processing it.

Please be patient. There is no quick fix.

 

[shykittenxoxo]

You are certainly not the only one @shykittenxoxo !
I used to suffer the same, and EMDR really helped. But, EMDR made it worse first, before it got better as it made me think hard about it. However, it will reduce in its impact once you have completed the EMDR and stopped processing it.

Please be patient. There is no quick fix.

Thank you so much for your response. This makes me feel so much better.

 

[Missycat]

@shykittenxoxo , as @Lucycat has said above , you arent the only one and it doesnt say anything about you as a person. I have been through this and sometimes still do when having some flashbacks . Emdr has helped and even when processing i have the body feelings ... including feelings of arousal ... it took me ages to tell my T due to shame, guilt and embarrassment . I felt so ashamed i would self harm that part of my body . I was so relieved i told my T cos she totally understood and wasnt shocked or surprised - she explained to me that we cant control how our bodies react to touch and that being touched at an early age meant being sexualised at too early an age. So please share how you feel with your T - i know its hard but they can help you work through it.

 

[shykittenxoxo]

@shykittenxoxo , as @Lucycat has said above , you arent the only one and it doesnt say anything about you as a person. I have been through this and sometimes still do when having some flashbacks . Emdr has helped and even when processing i have the body feelings ... including feelings of arousal ... it took me ages to tell my T due to shame, guilt and embarrassment . I felt so ashamed i would self harm that part of my body . I was so relieved i told my T cos she totally understood and wasnt shocked or surprised - she explained to me that we cant control how our bodies react to touch and that being touched at an early age meant being sexualised at too early an age. So please share how you feel with your T - i know its hard but they can help you work through it.

Thank you so much for your reply.

 

[Freida]

As soon as I figure it out I'll let you know! :hug:
Seriously - its one of the things that make me crazy. That phantom feeling that I KNOW isn't real but I also KNOW is.
I'm doing EMDR also -- it is amazingly helpful but it's tough because you bring back the activities associated with the feelings and then have to sort them all out.

They have lessened as I've worked through the events that caused them, but it's a long, slow process. :(

 

[NightSky]

I’m dealing with this now, and it’s hellish. The more I try to process the visual flashbacks, the worse the body sensations. It’s humiliating and painful and i cannot stop or start it. My T has been an amazing support as she has experienced the same and knows how disorienting and frustrating it can be. You’re not alone.

 

[nomorefear]

I sometimes dream about it. I used to feel real guilty, but I have learned that the brain is a weird thing. Abuse, especially that happens when we are young, imprints on our brain. At the worst times, the memory will flash upon my mind. And... like... "Where did that come from?" Now I don't feel guilty, I just think about something else and the thoughts go away. I have been working really hard to reprogram my brain, to replace the bad memories with positive stuff. I recently read The Lies We Believe by Dr. Chris Thirmin. It has helped a lot.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, I have felt it too. It is so annoying, embarrassing and in general distracting when you want to have your attention on something else/ anything else! I've prayed my way out of it sometimes. Others I have gotten help from Trauma Based CBT. Other times I just do my best to distract myself. Sometimes that works and sometimes it does not. I do appreciate that clinically it is a proven fact that we were introduced to sexual sensations and such at a too young an age and that this has caused it. We did not do anything wrong! We were wronged. That we feel this now is not something that we are doing wrong either. It seems to be some normal reaction to what was done to us at too young an age that was certainly uncalled for and a criminal act by the perpetrator. Keeping that in mind might help.

 

[Hopeful for Healing]

Thank you so much for your response. This makes me feel so much better.

Flashbacks are horrible. What is an effective way to transcend the past being in the present? Thank you.

 

[Freida]

I do the 54321 exercises - 5 things I can see, 5 things I can hear, 5 things I can touch - 4 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, 4 thing I can touch, etc..

Its hard enough to reset my thoughts but easy enough that I can do it no matter how flustered I am

 

[shykittenxoxo]

Flashbacks are horrible. What is an effective way to transcend the past being in the present? Thank you.

I try 4 square breathing - inhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, repeat.