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  1. goosegoose

    Medical Is this a trauma response? (Cancer caretaker trauma)

    Hi everyone, Without getting too into it, I had a grandparent in high school who was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. They miraculously survived for about a year or two, with a prognosis of one to two months. I was around 15-16 years old and saw a lot of their illness, treatment side...
  2. goosegoose

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    EAT ME - Demi Lovato ft. Royal & the Serpent Photosensitivity warning ⚠️
  3. goosegoose

    Sexual Assault Difficult one - Have any of you ever had a very brief snippet of a memory, but not even a clear memory?

    This is so so helpful, thank you for sharing this perspective. I did feel powerless RE: my dad and how he treated me, and especially how he was raising my younger brother so I can see how that would translate into my dream world.
  4. goosegoose

    Sexual Assault Difficult one - Have any of you ever had a very brief snippet of a memory, but not even a clear memory?

    I don't have much to add other than a rollcall of "yes this happens to me, too." I actually have a very blurry memory with my own grandfather like you, but like you said, it's blurry - not enough to really make sense of it. I know that when I was younger than 4/5, my dad would take me into the...
  5. goosegoose

    Childhood COCSA (Child on Child Sexual Abuse) I don't know what to do with this information.

    @Mach123 you absolutely took the words out of my mouth, thank you for sharing your perspective. @Twedont is new here, potentially sharing this very stressful information for the first time and also shared that they have repeatedly been told "stop overthinking" "you didn't experience trauma" etc...
  6. goosegoose

    Childhood COCSA: An old situation just came back to my mind and I can’t think about anything else.

    I don't have much to add here besides my condolences and to share similar experiences. I've known for a lot of years that I was a victim of CSA/incest but it wasn't until this month that I learned about the term COCSA. Just like you, I also had experiences playing "House" and other games where...
  7. goosegoose

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Oceanic Feeling - Molly Lewis ft. John C. Reilly
  8. goosegoose

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    All For Us - Euphoria official music video
  9. goosegoose

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Australia - Attic Abasement
  10. goosegoose

    Medical Triggered from period cramps

    So, I went out last night. I was responsible with my alcohol intake but I still took in a heck of a lot of sugar and this morning wham bam thank you ma'am - I start my period. It's probably been one of my most intense ones I've had in a long ass time so it's really swept me off my feet. It...
  11. goosegoose

    Reminding myself physically that I'm in the present moment?

    Hey everyone, hope all are well Im not sure if this is the right branch of forum to ask this on, but what are your most reliable ways of reminding your body that you're physically safe and in the present moment? Like "hey body, we're not in the past anymore, we're in our own apartment alone"...
  12. goosegoose

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In - The 5th Dimension
  13. goosegoose

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Last Hope - Paramore
  14. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    Thank you, that means a lot. I'm really trying. Also no, writing to my brother would be out of the question. I'm so determined about not putting him in the middle of all the adults he still lives with. I wouldn't want to put him in a position to either defend me and get picked on, or join the...
  15. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    I hit myself again tonight but at least it was with a stuffed animal and not my fist(?)
  16. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    I keep thinking about a dream I had this morning where I got to hug and hold onto my child brother. He saw me and ran over to me and clung so tightly and our dad was standing over us the entire time asking me question after question, so imposing and oppressive. I've been no contact with everyone...
  17. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    You're so kind, thank you 🥺 I'm not really sure how I've been tbh, but "okay" in general. It's like I feel so restless but also so tired but I can't sleep lately. My friends are still outside of my support system but I'm just trying to focus on what's important. I've noticed that I'm making a...
  18. goosegoose

    How to get past fear of intimacy stemming from CSA?

    @CoolBreezeonahotday thank you for writing so much, and apologies for such a late response. It's been kind of a busier week but I had a session actually the afternoon after you shared your last response. There was an opportunity in the conversation for me to practice being more open about this...
  19. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    I had no idea! I definitely will look through the settings just to get more familiar but I think at this point I'm comfortable sharing, at least online. Do you know if there are any areas or posts I can go to to see forum rules? I'm always so worried about getting banned
  20. goosegoose

    How to get past fear of intimacy stemming from CSA?

    I meant to include this in my original post - I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before anywhere else on this site, but it's probably the most relevant under the subject anyways? When I was still seeing my first T in person, there was one specific session where I was heading out the door to...
  21. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    I love this picture! Thank you for sharing, they're all so cute with their tiny little legs. This goose in the picture looks like the herd protector :') Also are you me? I've had almost that exact trail of "imagination exploration" where I was hanging out with a past life partner and it made me...
  22. goosegoose

    I don't know what I'm doing but I need to put this down somewhere

    @StillPen , @Defaultxlove thank you both :( it's really kind of you. When I first came onto this website I was almost outraged that anyone could look at my stuff in here but it's surprisingly nice. Intimacy phobias are weird
  23. goosegoose

    How to get past fear of intimacy stemming from CSA?

    Oh no worries at all! I've absolutely been there with the metaphorical kitchen fire. Take care of yourself first, this post will still be here when you're ready! (also f*ck audits)
  24. goosegoose

    How to get past fear of intimacy stemming from CSA?

    I'm so glad this helped you!! I thought I would get replies like "well duh" Unsatisfactory is a good word to describe the sensation. It reminds me of when you go to drink a cup of juice but then it turns out to be milk and you have to just kind of push through that disgusting disconnected...
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