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really struggling here! I'm in a loving relationship for the first time. we live together, she has kids. The kids see me as a maternal figure. its beautiful. however its also been the most triggering thing ever. I was SA from the age of 4 for many many years and then I had a breakdown at 11...

Yes so this is pretty lucky exactly me, my jerk really violently and my eyes roll back repeatedly but the jerking motion is actually from abdominal contractions that propel my body in a fitting motion. I also lose mobility and speech after for 10 minutes or so. I've had a lot of loss of body and...

Hiya, I am diagnosed with dissociative Identity disorder, EUPD and CPTSD although I've not had dissociative symptoms for many years. I love with alot of flashbacks and grief but I've been very stable and medication free for years. Recently I suffered a bereavement of a parent figure and have...

It was so amazing and healing to get these messages back and not feel alone. I have since been in a loving relationship for the first time ever. Fallen in love for the first time ever and received unconditional love for the first time. I am feeling so many different types of sexual pleasure to...

I can assure you your not broken. I see this stuff as the younger me. Of my bodies saying no it's not broken it's traumatised and deserves to be nurtured and loved. Instead of being angry at my body I try and see how normal it is after trauma that sex would be too much. I go through phases...

It's literally kicking back in at the moment. I've started dating somebody and my body won't play ball no matter much I want it too. It's so lonely and sets grief off all over again. I find routinely having a sensual routine helps. Like having longs showers and baths or massaging myself. It...

I'm blessed to have been off all meds for 2 years but I was on them from 11 to 23,I think they had that side affect amongst hundreds of others. Certain things can make body pleasure easier closer to access like long bath ritual,sensual stuff. I think it's EVERYTHING. the abuse..the neglect...

I've spoken alot with my therapist about it and for me it is from craving love as a child and being forced into a sex instead. The sex is never pleasant and it's been years since I've been hyper sexual and acting it out. Now I'm in a place where I have fear round trust and emotional intimacy...

Hey! I wanted to see if anyone relates to this. I was severely abused from the age of 4 until 11. Male and female abusers...male and female at the same time. BDSM. also full physical and emotional neglect from the rest of my family. Mum was mentally unstable and an addict..I was taken to squat...

I pay for private counceling once a week which has been a blessing. obviously in hospital you have therapy but your dosed up on 500mg of at least 3 different medications and living in a box. I never managed to start any healing in there, just re traumatization from the restraints and sedative...

Hey,I totally get the age regression! I went into my first mental hospital at 11 after rmy trauma stopped and got diagnosed with CPTSD and later Dissociative disorders,DID and EUPD.. all the usual trauma disorders. I'm 25 and still sleep curled in a ball sucking my thumb. I have the same teddy...

Thank you for your words everyone. I've had a look at some of the other threads and there's so many courageous people on here. I'm very glad I've signed up

The identification with others is so powerful. The isolation this year has been huge after so long institutionalised. I'm knackered from have panic all last night but just having a message back from another person has lifted me.bless you and thank you,I'll be sticking around for sure

hey,im new here its taken alot for to join, im really good at isolating the side of me with ptsd and helping others but rubbish at calling out when i need it im hoping to just connect with some people as theres a huge lack of it for me, this whole year has felt like me smiling at those I love...