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  1. W

    Symptoms seem to be back after months of being okay... normal?

    Hey guys! It's been a few months! I finished with my therapist last July, things had been going really well. November my better half was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, that caused whole whirlwind of crap. We were both terrified, scared of him bein ill, dying, i guess all normal stuff that comes...
  2. W

    Sleep walking /Talking / Playing Out Nightmares

    So hey! Been a while since i posted, things have been fairly steady, but i kinda need to leap into the fountain of knowledge for some help. I've always been a hectic sleeper, as a child i'd sleep walk, talk and so on, that sort of phased out as i've gotten older, but i have always been a very...
  3. W

    Past brought back to life

    Okay, so, i've had 2 dads, lucky me, right? Dad 1 is my birth father, vanished when i was 6 or so. Mum re married (Paternal g'ma took the place of her son, and in time also my mum as her new partner changed her) Both my mum and her new parther were abusive, their treatment of me was described by...
  4. W

    What do I say - How to explain disassociation to someone?

    He'll normally start by trying to get my attention by saying my name like "hey ........ you okay?" If that works he will ask where I was, then go on to ask vague stuff like what can I see, then He'll make it more specific and ask something like what colour is his t-shirt, what can i hear and...
  5. W

    Narcisist mother using my grandma's death to attention seek - Rant.

    I thought about blocking but she'd figure out that I'd done that and make a big deal out of it, so I've just decided to step away from social media. I use it for work, so will just go through business suite rather than my account. It's definitely a good idea to put as much space between us as...
  6. W

    What do I say - How to explain disassociation to someone?

    Because of talking about my therapy sessions with my partner he has an understanding and he's learned to tune into when it happens. He's pretty quick at grounding me now. He's learned i look like i'm not focused, my speech becomes broken like can't find words, my eyes apparently look different...
  7. W

    Narcisist mother using my grandma's death to attention seek - Rant.

    My grandparents brought me up, i didn't live with them, but they were my safe space, they knew most of what was happening at home, though some stuff i didn't tell them for fear of losing them and not having anyone to go to. I'd told them about getting beaten, food rationed or not given, but i...
  8. W

    Sleep problems, any advice.

    I thought about that but it won't work. My home office is a literal box room, a bed won't fit in it
  9. W

    Sleep problems, any advice.

    Thank you, a dream jurnal sounds like a great idea. I can't really use another room as my bedroom as the other rooms are spoken for (home office, the spare room is my little brother's crash room when he wants to come over) but i can definately look at ways of changing the space around etc as...
  10. W

    Sleep problems, any advice.

    You guys have all been so helpful recent;y, thank you! But i'm here again to pick your brains and look for advice. So NDE in 2022, found in bed by my partner. Been working really hard with my T on putting the memory together and so on. We've come across other traumas in my past and we're working...
  11. W

    Feeling like we've opened Pandora's box.

    We're working on emotional regulation at the moment, i think we're getting there slowly... I hope! Thank you. It's not comfortable at all, just taking it one step at a time at the mo
  12. W

    Feeling like we've opened Pandora's box.

    Thank you for taking the time to explain so well, i really, really appreciate it. I've been taking things really steady, writing or sketching anything that comes up. I think it's good this happened after the sessions we've had so far because i'm better prepared to deal with intrusive thoughts...
  13. W

    Feeling like we've opened Pandora's box.

    Thank you :-) , i've done a mix so far of writing, sketching, i'm just taking it steady. What ever comes up, i'm getting it on paper in whichever way feels right. It really side swiped me when i began to realise a lot of my experiences in younger years weren't 'normal'. IF my T hadn't picked up...
  14. W

    Feeling like we've opened Pandora's box.

    I've been doing CBT for PTSD-DS for a while now. Originally it was for a single event, and that's what we've been working on. Yesterday my T said that he felt like there was something else, something that was causing me to get stuck and it's may be fueling my current issue. One of the things we...
  15. W

    Are flareups a thing?

    Do you think in 3d too? Growing up dysexia was an issue, but over the years, it's had it's uses. My ability to think in 3d means i'm fab at fitting furniture into a room, or picking parking spaces haha!
  16. W

    full vs partial reliving flashbacks and variation in intrusions

    Mine, generally are full on, we've taken to calling them dissociative flashbacks because of the disconnect between then and now, not sure how common or uncommon that is. Every sense is involved. I don't know if it makes a difference but i have hyperphantasia, which means my minds eye is top of...
  17. W

    Are flareups a thing?

    I really appreciate that, thank you Thank you, that second article was really enlightening and helpful I'd never heard the term too, i'd aways thought that the way i think is due to being dyslexic, used to be quite annoying, and it can be in terms of memories and flashbacks, but most often...
  18. W

    Are flareups a thing?

    Anyone else find themself dissociating more after imaginal reliving and symptoms worse with other life stresses? On wednesday, for the 1st time i was able to relive almost all of the memory. What tends to happen normally is we start the excersise and very soon after i'm totally lost in it and...
  19. W

    I just wanna sleep and can't

    So a huge part of my isssue is that i nearly died, in bed. I went to bed one night and came round to my partner trying to save my life. I can't go into more detail just now, i'm not ready. I'm just gonna offload and hope it helps i'm fed up with not being able to sleep i'm tired i hate that...
  20. W

    I forgive myself for .........

    I forgive myself for not telling my nan about abuse at home, because i knew she'd stop it, but she'd get herself in a whole heap of trouble in doing so
  21. W

    Feelings coming back to memories

    I think of my brain as a hard drive, easiest way to explain what it's like to other people
  22. W

    Feelings coming back to memories

    That's really insightful, thank you. I'll certainly tell my T tomorrow and be open about what's going on with me
  23. W

    Feelings coming back to memories

    So I'm going through cbt for a near death experience in 2022, diagnosed with ptsd-ds. While I've been going through sessions and learning to let emotions be there rather than push them away or escape for this event (which is what caused me to seek help) I'm finding older memories come forward...
  24. W

    Other Any other Type 1 Diabetics here?

    My trauma is as a result of my diabetes. I had an NDE in 2022 (severe low), and it's only through therapy for that event that i've realised how much of an impact type 1 has had on my life, in ways i hadn't noticed or i'd repressed. I try not to let type 1 get me down, i write online in blogs and...
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