@EveHarrington , unfortunately just as many people don't value themselves, a lot don't value their partner either (though I've found many of those who do value themselves even when they don't value their partner). And surely it's easy to be used, or have friends who are fairweather. But I have found that a lot of people who are used are very sweet people, not just lacking self-esteem or self worth. I think there is a very strong conscious or unconscious drive to skip over, not notice, or even push away much more genuine feeling men. So in that regard I would challenge the mindset that says a) you have no value and are undesirable , and b) that it will remain this way.
I truly believe in challenging this gently, you will see that others do not hold that view of you whatsoever. But a jerk is a jerk, and yes a jerk because he knows making you feel worse about yourself- reinforcing it- is the only way you'll likely sleep with him. Not because others don't want you to be part of their life, but because that's all he has to offer. (Which is fine, if that's what you want too). But you have to be able to see other types exist around you first to recognize that. It can come about Eve. (And yes, I get being alone and all it infers and requires. And being isolated doesn't help.)
:hug: dear Eve.
I truly believe in challenging this gently, you will see that others do not hold that view of you whatsoever. But a jerk is a jerk, and yes a jerk because he knows making you feel worse about yourself- reinforcing it- is the only way you'll likely sleep with him. Not because others don't want you to be part of their life, but because that's all he has to offer. (Which is fine, if that's what you want too). But you have to be able to see other types exist around you first to recognize that. It can come about Eve. (And yes, I get being alone and all it infers and requires. And being isolated doesn't help.)
:hug: dear Eve.
