What Bad Shit You Haven't Done

[Ronin]

Sorry if I derailed this thread.

Not ever, Bleev.

Getting help on a help forum isn't ever derailing. :) Also glad you're doing better by now, a bit.

 

[Changing4Best]

I really wanted to tell someone to mind their own f***ing business this week, but I didn't. Like sometimes you just need to say something and you say it and and someone else butts in and says you should not have said that, or you should leave it at that and not say anything more or something. Like, if I feel like telling someone how I feel, or how something they have said has affected me, I think I should have the right to do so! Not everyone agrees with that though. I know.... some folks think you should just take it and take it and take it until you are about to go nutz with annoyance or worse. Well, holding it all inside sometimes is just about the worst thing we can do for our own mental well being. Holding one's tongue is a noble idea, until *I* am being the one who is the target of someone else who does not know how to hold their tongue!!! A person can only take so much of that before they burst, you know?

 

[The Albatross]

Pitched a fit or played the victim.

 

[mumstheword]

I didn't say "yeah alright" when my neighbor offered to "take care of" my ex after telling of some of what he'd been doing to me and our children.

I didn't try get my neighbor kicked out, even though other neighbors told me they would be behind me, if I did, because she reminded me of my mentally ill mother and i couldn't contribute to making her children as insecure as I had been.

I didn't get my ex charged and put in jail, even though victim services deemed me worthy of a pay-out for what he did to me, i nearly died, and he is a blatant illicit drug user and supplier, even though one of my sons told me this year, he wished I had.

I didn't run around town badmouthing him after he saw fit to make up horrible damaging lies about me to my children and community

I didn't get my rapist charged when I was 16, no one told me what he did to me was wrong. I thought it was my fault.

I didn't leave, my abusive relationship for 20 years because I believed him when he said "you won't get the children, if you leave, because you're crazy", i didn't know about gaslighting and that he was a sociopath then.

I didn't try to make my kids hate him or take sides, even though he did that to me.

I didn't cut myself after I fell pregnant at just 17, i didn't starve myself when I was pregnant.

I didn't let myself get raped and murdered by my ex's squatting housemates, at 16, as a homeless girl, instead I took refuge with him, a far more subtle brainwasher and abuser, more of a cult-leader drugger and crazy maker sexual abuser

I didn't take my own life.

I didn't stay, and die, so he could be smug and get what he wanted

I didn't let him destroy me or our children, or my relationship with our children

I didn't lose my self respect

I got broken-hearted but I didn't let my spirit be broken

I did survive

i did leave, eventually.

I did help my kids through it, and nobody ended up killing themselves (although attempts may have been made)

 

[Changing4Best]

I didn't say "yeah alright" when my neighbor offered to "take care of" my ex after telling of some...

WOW! That is a lot. Give yourself a pat on the back!

 

[mumstheword]

WOW! That is a lot. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Lol! Thank you!
I was very taken aback by the offer, but it didn't align with my values....so, yeah...understandably though, I've had many fantasy moments thinking how much easier life would be if he were not alive anymore and he is much older than I, so, I may get to experience it yet....but yeah, I'm pretty much a pacifist by nature, I guess, so getting him "wacked" was never going to be an option.

I do like my integrity, but by golly it's taken me a long time to see than in myself.

 

[Deleted member 40995]

Things I didn't do:
I didn't start screaming and telling everyone what abuser had some when I ran into him in town, although I couldn't stand the thought he was walking around having a normal life.
I didn't push him off a cliff.
When my cousin confided in me she had been taken "camping" by him, I did not jump off the couch and hunt him down and make him pay for what he did to her and to me and who knows else. I just tried not to cry in front of her. Couldn't stand that he hurt her too.

 

[Deleted member 40995]

*done

 

[Changing4Best]

I didn't tell this bully that his psychiatrist is crazy, because the man supposedly told him he is "OK." I doubt he went to see such a Dr. He was just making a joke. None the less he said it twice, really loudly, so everyone could hear him. He really wanted everyone to know that he is "OK."

 

[Deleted member 44517]

I didn't f*ck up my relationships

I didn't quit school

 

[Deleted member 8714]

I didn't call my girlfriend, best friend at the time, and chew her out for telling me she hadn't called me because she didn't want to hear about my dog dying.

Instead I did the next best thing, actually the better thing according to my new T, I dropped her sorry ass out of my life. My new T said that's not a friend to keep.

---
I didn't quit nursing school even though I was triggered and stressed by the whole experience especially by the obstetrics rotation. So triggered by what I was seeing I flunked out of obstetrics the first time around. I was determined and took it again and passed.

 

[Deleted member 44517]

@Congruency
I bombed out of nursing school after my first year due to depression and ptsd . I didn't even know that I had ptsd at the time. I did eventually go back but it was very difficult.

The fact that you finished is something to be mighty proud of.