Decreasing Therapy?

[Tinyflame]

You know, outside of the cognitive answer, I guess I think "why?", why revisit what causes pain, turmoil, fear, anguish.

I do agree it is the 'feeling' part that has to be addressed. But I would also say, perhaps it is to 're-visit' it with what was lacking then, from others or (myself). Empathy, protection, 'sanity' of someone saying (only if they truly mean it), that there is another explanation than it was (my/ 'our') fault, or deficiency, or that it was wrong. Or it 'is' wrong. Is that validation? Not just that what we felt is/ was understandable, but that most people would feel that, or 'should' feel that? Orjust face the terror and details without being alone in it.

 

[Hashi]

If you feel inclined would you mind explaining to me how that works? Am I right in thinking the only way to improve flashbacks is to process the trauma?

What I mean is that I don't have to remember every single detail to process the trauma. If it was something like EMDR that might be different, I don't know. I'm referring to talk therapy.

PTSD doesn't arise from what happened (eg two cars collided) but from the effects of what happened (eg: I thought I was going to die). So when I talk about what happened, what I'm actually processing is the effects. With multiple/prolonged trauma, if one of the effects was fear then remembering a single instance of it might not be enough. But remembering a number of things that caused fear can be enough in order to understand and process it, without having to remember every single thing that caused fear.

I think this is true both in terms of recovering memories after amnesia (the trauma when when I was 20, and some of the childhood trauma), and with getting a new perspective on memories which I've always had but have denied and minimised (childhood trauma).

In the case of recovering memories, I've probably only remembered about a tenth of it. At first, I did have a cycle of remembering something, processing it to some extent, and then remembering something else. That's what made me dread remembering more and more until every moment was accounted for. Thankfully, it doesn't seem to be that way. I believe what I've remembered now is the amount my subconscious has given me as being sufficient to work on to heal.

In the case of denial and minimisation, I don't remember my whole childhood anyway. No-one could, but I'm especially unlikely to since I dissociated so much. I think it's exactly the same principle - I remember enough, and its representative enough.

 

[Abstract]

Hi QP!

Wondered how it is going. If you cut back or if you changed your mind.

It's a good and bad thing that my therapist has a good memory because in our last session he used a lot of examples from past behaviour as to why I should not decrease therapy so much.

Does this mean your therapist gave you a different perspective on cutting back? Was he open to trying once a week? I guess it might also help to discuss the reasons why you want to as he may have other ways to address those concerns.

I am glad he has a good memory! Especially helpful when we can't keep track ourselves! :( Thanks for sharing how you react to sessions. I relate to a lot of what you discuss. Helpful for me to hear it!

short train ride to crazy town!

Oh yes! Thanks for understanding that. Actually I visited crazy town at the end of that and some other similar but much more pronounced stuff. I set up camp there for a while. :rolleyes:

It makes me very frightened as to the reaction I will have if I actually feel all of these things that happened to me.

I understand very much. Maybe your mind would only get there when it was ready and therefore it would not be as we presently imagine it would be. Like learning something new. When we first read it we think we could never understand and yet later on we realise it is not as complex as we first thought. Heres hoping anyway!

ndicator of good conversation

Phew! I am glad as I would not want you to feel your thread was being derailed. I hoped it was on topic as it related to something you mentioned. Thank you as it has been enlightening. You seem much clearer on these issues than I am.

profoundly impacted by something I have little recollection of.

It is a strange concept. Hard to grasp. The good thing about it is that it means there is the potential to change and heal. Thats what I tell myself anyway! Not remembering certainly aids my denial though (if that is what it is).

I think we should request a cheerleader smilie.

 

[Abstract]

Thank you Safenow, Piratelady and Hashi for the information about processing trauma. I tend to think in absolutes. From what has been said I have realised I have processed much more than I thought I had which is encouraging.

I know the memories are encoded incorrectly and in the wrong part of the brain and that thinking, speaking, drawing, imagining, feeling anything to do with that trauma helps move it to the more cognitive parts of the brain and that stops the flashbacks. I did not think that general discussions about feelings less directly connected could do that as well but that is what all of you are saying and I am glad to hear that.

I remember nothing of what happened, but it changed me and still affects me to this day

Thanks for sharing that Piratelady. Some things I dont remember are so absolute I don't know if I could discuss the effects on me. Its inspiring to hear of your process and how you have gone about it despite lack of memory. It helps to know that.

every single detail to process the trauma.

if one of the effects was fear then remembering a single instance of it might not be enough. But remembering a number of things that caused fear can be enough in order to understand and process it, without having to remember every single thing that caused fear

Thank you for all your explanations. I think I understand better. It is still dealing directly with the trauma in a sense. Just not every detail of it. I think part of the problem is that I am quite skilled at compartmentalising things when I speak about feelings related to it. Its like I imagine a curtain between that feeling and everything else that happened and therefore feel it is not linked but I am sure it is much more than I think it is. Sorry if that sounds weird/vague. I don't understand it myself.

PTSD doesn't arise from what happened

From what I understood it arises as a result of overwhelm causing the experienced to be stored incorrectly. I guess what confused me was if the middle was the part linked to the flashbacks then i thought that part had to be re experienced. I am very glad to hear that is not the case!

the amount my subconscious has given me as being sufficient to work on to heal.

I like this concept. I hope this is true for me too.

Its very enlightening and helpful to hear from others further along with this stuff so thank you and thank you QP too.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think I've become accomplished at compartmentalizing and willfully not recalling, in my brain. For example, if I have to go to the store, I think of the number of items I need, up to about 12 or 15. Then, only in the store will I allow myself to think of what they are.

Perhaps that is how small or seemingly benign reminders get 'tagged' to a memory and set things off in motion?

I have flashbacks (the rare time I do), when I am relaxed and don't see it coming. Which is kind of a cruel irony. :(