When To Process Trauma?

[Bees Are Awesome]

I have had PTSD for going on 2 years now. I have been with the same therapist this whole time. I feel relatively comfortable with her and have enough trust in her to know that she won't push me past my limits. She knows the very basics of my traumas but we have not set out to do much trauma processing because I get panicky and sick and dissociate.

We are coming to a bit of a crossroads now. We have worked a lot on techniques to help lower my anxiety, panic, and hypervigilance. To further lessen these symptoms she believes we should start processing some of the "least difficult" traumas and then work up from there. She is leaving this decision up to me as, obviously, the trauma processing is quite difficult and taxing.

I think I am ready to take the step and work on processing the traumas. I want to move forward and hopefully start feeling better. I have really been struggling over the past couple of months with SI, isolating, wanting to drink and drug. Over the past week or so I feel like I am starting to come out of that funk and into a healthier frame of mind. Do I now risk processing the trauma and the possibility of me going back to that dark place (or something similar)? How do you know when the right time is?

I hope what I am asking makes sense. Thanks in advance.

 

[Hashi]

One question is, is there likely to be a better time? If you spent another six months working on coping skills, do you think you'd be in a better place to deal with trauma then?

We have worked a lot on techniques to help lower my anxiety, panic, and hypervigilance.

What have you done for dissociation?

 

[rightkindofme]

When you get to a place of being more stable, yup that's when you clean out under the beds. It's rough but important.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

Thank you @Hashi and @rightkindofme for your replies.

One question is, is there likely to be a better time? If you spent another six months working on coping skills, do you think you'd be in a better place to deal with trauma then?
What have you done for dissociation?

Good questions. I don't imagine there will be a better time. I guess waiting would be more of a stalling tactic than anything, if I am being honest.

For dissociation we have worked on using grounding techniques and being more mindful of actively staying in the moment. It is not something we have worked a lot on really.

I have my next session tomorrow. I will talk to my T and agree to start the process.

 

[Hashi]

I think it might be worth discussing dissociation a bit more, since this is quite a common reaction to trauma work. It has certainly been a big deal for me, but my therapist has helped with that.

I know that processing trauma is hard, but it's also healing and liberating. I've been thinking a lot in the past few days about where I was before, starting to process the trauma in therapy. It was difficult (to say the least) but it was something I needed to do. Now, I look back on myself starting to do that and I am VERY glad that I did that then. It moved me forward, one step at a time.

There really is an "other side" that you can get to, if you keep moving. I'd like to acknowledge how hard and scary this can be. At the same time I'd like to say how healing it can be to do it.

Sending lots of positive vibes and good wishes your way.