Attachment In Therapy - Another Thread

[Pencil]

whatever sadness or anger that moves yo

It is SO frightening. And the sad thing is that I can't handle it in J either!

 

[Pencil]

please know my phrasing

I do know that Rumors.

 

[Rumors]

I know, kiddo. It is so very frightening. There simply isn't any way to know when it will end either. Part of my reality has been watching and validating my sons sadness, anger, and pain. It has been immensely helpful to me as I have witnessed how it is SUPPOSED to work. It is amazing to see how he maneuvers through his pain and moves beyond it so quickly. He holds on to nothing. He says exactly what he needs to say. He tells me what he needs. I am jealous. :)

 

[Pencil]

Then you can try to provide for it yourself

NO! This is the part that makes me hysterical. I've done what I could for myself. I'm extremely self-reliant. But I can't cope with the child and what she holds.

 

[Pencil]

holds

This is interesting - we both use the word - we posted at the same time.

 

[Pencil]

@Junebug, this Michelangela needs a therapist with an ample bosom - figuratively speaking.

 

[Valentino]

NO! This is the part that makes me hysterical. I've done what I could for myself. I'm extremely self-reliant. But I can't cope with the child and what she holds.

Solid NO, I like that.. that's clarity.

Maybe you need something more like a surrogate mother figure? Not really a traditional therapist. Could just be from a friend or acquaintance. Sort of like a mentor just in a different way.

 

[Pencil]

surrogate mother figure? Not really a traditional therapist. Could just be from a friend or acquaintance. Sort of like a mentor just in a different way.

Valentino the detective! Yes, but do you have any idea how dreadfully embarrassing this admission is? And this is where 'homeopathic' therapists go ice cold. But there ARE therapists who actually, actively do this.

 

[Pencil]

In fact, it is not simply that I can't handle the child. It is more complicated. When I 'go into' the child, or the child 'comes out' the adult disappears altogether. This simply means that I can't allow the child to take over - and be alone and traumatized. I need someone there with me. But this is also why I, as an adult, can't take care of her.

Clarity!!

 

[Pencil]

surrogate mother fi

At that everyone runs :oops:

 

[Valentino]

If embarrassment is the price to pay for clarity, and possibly the doorway to healing. I'd take that option. Why let shame get in the way of healing?

Maybe as you better understand your deep needs, you can better filter through different therapists and therapy/healing approaches. Plus you also will be able to communicate your needs better. So all of that raises the odds of finding a good match.

Actually your situation could give you an edge, when your child comes out the adult disappears. A big stumbling block for others is that the adult never goes away, in fact it's always IN THE WAY. Most people spend tons of time trying to get the adult to let go, to find their inner child and learn to trust it. You've already got that part handled.

Maybe you just need an adult who's integrated with their inner child, so they could meet your inner child as a peer, and slowly educate and help guide her through the intense emotions and trauma.

Those type therapists might be few and far between, but I'm sure when you finally meet one, you'll be able to recognize it very quickly.
----
Oh... maybe trauma therapists might not be the wrong place to look? What about child therapists or child development experts? They might be more skilled at dealing with things from inner child perspective. And really, childhood is pretty much an over-all traumatic process in general. So their expertise might not be that far off the mark.

Just another idea to consider.

 

[Tinyflame]

No pencil, they are thinking. :hug:

@Pencil , these are the answers you need, you will find them inside yourself. Try not to go only by what has been, have faith in what you don't know yet.

I don't know as much about 'bosoms' ( -thought 'blossoms' :laugh: ) but trust is nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps that 'inner child' will help you choose who/ what is right. The adult has the feet, the child can choose from the heart.

I overlapped with Valentino, think he is right.

Pencil, I don't know about an 'inner child' (for myself), but I feel 'childlike' and adult (hopelessly old!). I actually feel good when I can be, it is true to me.