2 Weeks Ago...

[Deleted member 1860]

Have you googled mandatory reporting laws in your state? Mandatory reporting laws are for minors and although your leader is a mandatory reporter, you are not a minor. This is where you personally need to do the research for your location as it does you no good to get any advice from us as we do not know your local laws.

I personally had to deal with mandatory reporting but that was because my abuse happened as a young child. Nowhere have I EVER heard that an adult rape victim must report the rape. If anything, it is her right not to.

I think you are confusing two sets of laws & regulations and it is making things worse for you. So stop.... Before you do anything else, look up the rules on mandatory reporting on rape in your state.

 

[mytai]

@Solara is right. If you aren't actually a minor then your youth leader isn't required to report (again depending on your state laws). The exception to that typically is if a child is in danger, you are at risk of hurting yourself or someone else, or the accused is hurting another minor. That tends to be the exceptions to those who are not minors. But like Solara said, none of us know what your specific state laws are - most of us are basing our replies off of our own country's laws which could differ greatly from yours.

If you are not a minor, no one can force you to report, you don't have to even if you tell someone.

 

[catjudo]

I've only skimmed this so forgive me if I'm repeating things that have already been said but there do seem to be a lot of questions and confusion about mandatory reporters. In the USA there are some professions such as teachers, doctors, therapists, etc who are mandatory reporters. A person who is a mandatory reporter is obligated by law to report any known incidence of abuse or assault on a minor (or other at risk groups such as the elderly or a person with a disability, especially things like intellectual disabilities) that has not been previously reported. The mandatory reporter does not need to know all of the details of the event before they are required to make a report. If they know that a minor has been abused or assaulted and it has not been previously reported, they MUST report it (to either Children & Family Services or directly to the police depending on the circumstances and the laws in that state/county). It is then out of their hands and will go through the usual channels to make sure the victim is safe and then investigate the case. Mandatory reporting laws typically only apply to minors unless a person happens to fall into one of the other categories of protected individuals that I mentioned above.

 

[scout86]

@Echo, I didn't mean to imply it was her fault that the rape occurred, and I hope she didn't take it that way. My point was, it is absolutely true that intoxication makes you vulnerable to people who chose to behave badly. And people DO chose to behave badly. If there were no negative consequences to getting drunk, it would be great. But there ARE and making yourself unnecessarily vulnerable is one of them. The person who committed the rape is a coward and worse. I think there's an excellent chance that they were only interested in easy targets, and someone who's drunk or drugged is an easy target ( and Healing Reins may not have been their only victim). Drinking to excess is a choice, just like raping someone, is a choice. Choices have consequences. At best, you learn from them but you don't learn anything by avoiding your own share of responsibility.

All Healing Reins did is make a mistake. That doesn't make her bad, certainly didn't make her "deserve" this, or anything else. It just makes her a young person who made a mistake. The best thing to do with mistakes is learn from them, so you can avoid repeating them. It would be wonderful if we lived in a world where we never had to have any concern for our safety. We don't. And that's not PTSD related hypervigilance talking, it's the truth. There are a lot of behavioral options between agoraphobia and totally throwing caution to the winds.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

My point was, it is absolutely true that intoxication makes you vulnerable to people who chose to behave badly. And people DO chose to behave badly.

I agree with this. There was a study done asking men if they could get away with raping a woman, would they? I think it was about 20% said they would. Honestly, someone thought to themselves..."I can do this and she probably wont even know."

While I don't see it as your fault, it was still a choice to get drunk and to drink as a minor. Just as much as it was a choice by the person who did it, their choice is the issue. It was the wrong choice to get drunk but that does not make the choice the person made on you.

If any of that makes sense.

I would plead with you though @Healing Reins Don't drink again as a minor. It is not cool, it is not worth it, and just tell the peer pressure to f*ck off.

 

[Healing Reins]

I'm 18..

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@Healing Reins You are no longer a minor about other people having to report for you so I have to admit that part confuses me. I really think she may have missed the 'only if they are under 18' part. Still a minor in terms of illegal drinking.

 

[Healing Reins]

But I am still in high school which means she has to report it. Secondly, even if she isn't a mandatory reporter, she still has the right to make a report.
She loves justice, so knowing her...she would make a report, even with out my consent. I think she would be doing it to protect me...to make sure I was okay.. when I don't need her to report it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Aren't you getting out of high school in a month?

She does not 'have the right' to report it. It would be beyond wrong of her to make the report when you are not a minor without your consent. Wrong, wrong, wrong...I don't even think that would work to be honest. You are not a minor and the police know that.

Your choice if you want to report but I will say that if you do, you should do it. NOT her. And I do think she can support you very much.

But again, if you want to report it, you report it.

 

[digger]

even if she isn't a mandatory reporter, she still has the right to make a report.

No, she doesn't have the right to report anything she wants to about what you tell her confidentially. As a therapist she should be working to strict guidelines about what she does and does not have a duty to report. How can she expect to build trust with clients if they don't know who or how much she is going to share with other people without consent? I think you need to clarify this with her.

 

[mytai]

@Healing Reins, if you are not a minor and the law doesn't require her to report it then she cannot report it is she is a leader of the church. She has the same confidence rules as a therapist does. She can't break that without running the risk of losing her ability to serve in a church.

 

[Healing Reins]

@digger1

. As a therapist she should be working to strict guidelines about what she does and does not have a duty to report.

She's my youth group leader not a therapist! :)

@mytai is being a youth group leader a leader in the church?