This May Sound Silly But I Wasn't Expecting Trauma Therapy To Hurt This Much.

[Can'tdeletemyaccount]

I have a lot of suppressed stuff that is coming up in body memories rather than cognitive way or images. I am having a strong feeling of violation, strange sensations, revulsion etc. I know my childhood was very neglectful and abusive but it is looking likely I was also sexually abused (something I have had a feeling about already in my adult years.) However I have no actual memory, at least anything I can pin point or any ONE I can pin point. I know I was very sexually aware as a small child and my almost compulsive sexual behavior hints at sexual conditioning. My therapist isn't pushing it right now and is using EFT to try and help with the emotions before we delve deeper or use any EMDR. Does trauma therapy usually make you feel worse before you feel better?

I have tried a small course of CBT and also had some DBT and they have really not helped much.

Also since starting (had 2 sessions, and also a free consultation) my hair has started falling out... in CLUMPS. Very triggering as I used to compulsively hair pull as a child.

Cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Really needing some encouragement. :-(

 

[Seasounds]

-I am one person, with one experience.
-EFT and EMDR made me much worse. It is not for me.
-You are at choice to pursue or stop any therapy, at any time.
-There are many therapies that can be helpful to PTSD
-One thing I have learned, is to pay attention to my symptoms of stress-hair loss, increased depression, numbness, body tension, or disassociation, and to heed my own body's warnings, and pull away from therapies, people, or situations, when I get stressed or triggered.
-Good luck on your journey!

 

[shimmerz]

hair has started falling out... in CLUMPS

I would be very careful. Find someone who really knows trauma. This indicates to me that you need to tread very, very carefully.

 

[Casey_03]

@Can'tdeletemyaccount - I don't have any useful advice for you, but I can say that you are not alone. I am going through a very similar experience. I thought therapy would bring some relief, but so far it has actually made me more unstable, made me remember things I don't want to remember and apparently induced physical symptoms (or perhaps I just wasn't aware of them before). I feel like I am losing it most of the time. And for the first time ever, my PTSD is interfering with my work (I'd never let it affect my work before, but now I'm a trainwreck). Anyway, if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me. Hope you are okay today. Hang in there.

 

[Ocean5]

@Can'tdeletemyaccount my PTSD is interfering with my work (I'd never let it affect my work before, but now I'm a trainwreck).

Can relate all to well..

 

[Chloe44]

@Can'tdeletemyaccount - I don't have any useful advice for you, but I can say that y...

I can Definitely relate to all of this as well. I myself haven't worked for the last 5 or 6 years due to a total emotional breakdown. And things just kept happening in my life, flashbacks of horrible abuse, trauma, and then new trauma took place..I withdrew from society and became afraid to or want to DO ANYTHING! I've been in therapy for years, been on every medication that includes, antipsychotics,depression,anxiety meds ,I'm currently on 7 meds now all together, my memory is horrible (short term) I actually got very confused today on my way to the Doctor that I had to pull into a parking lot and turn my navigation on only to find I was a mile away.I'm getting very scared that I'm just gonna loose it and snap one day. My kids can tell something is wrong, my 8 yr old even knows when I'm in the bathroom sometimes, she yells to me ,"Mom, Are you Picking again" holy sh**....How horrible is that?! My husband is feeling very neglected as I've been distant due to all these flashbacks and hidden horrors that are trying to resurface in my brain. I'm sorry to ramble ,but normally, I don't say anything. so while it was fresh on my mind I needed to unload...thank all of you that cared to read this....I feel crazy.

 

[digger]

Hi @Chloe44, just to let you know that this post is a couple of years old. You may find it more beneficial to start a new post of your own.

 

[Chloe44]

Hi @Chloe44, just to let you know that this post is a couple of years old. You may fi...

Whoops, I'm new to this .... Thank you.