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Struggling With Partner, Constant Accusations

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You are doing the best thing for yourself. It took me 5 years to get free. What a waste of 5 years. I was terrified of him. Not only did I change my locks, but my next door neighbor did too because he stood up for me. I was told by the domestic violence agency I got help from that I picked fights with him because unconsciously I felt the tension building and after a blowup he would be "nice and calm". I craved that calm even though it only lasted a day or two. I wish you the very best that life has.
 
But a narcissist doesn't change because he doesn't see a reason to. Whatever mess he gets himself into will always be someone else's fault. It's a horribly destructive, crazy-making downward spiral.

Couldn't someone be a narcissist due to their PTSD?
And if so could change given they were therapized appropriately?
 
Couldn't someone be a narcissist due to their PTSD?
It is unclear as to what causes narcissism. It is generally believed to be a mix of biological, genetic, and social factors. Narcissism can increase vulnerability to develop PTSD, and make it harder to recover from PTSD, but narcissism is not a symptom of PTSD or trauma any more than being bipolar or schizophrenic is caused by PTSD or trauma.
And if so could change given they were therapized appropriately?
If they actually have true narcissism, yes and no. The general thinking is that personality disorders like narcissism don't change, This is especially true for narcissism (and not so much the case for Borderline Personality Disorder.)
"Even if your narcissistic partner does go to therapy, has a great therapist, and sticks with it, do not expect her fundamental personality to change." (Link Removed)
There is a lot of new evidence coming out showing that personality disorders can and do change with effective treatment (especially the often trauma related condition of BPD) but this is still considered to be rare for narcissists who generally tend to blame everyone else for problems and tend to quit therapy. It's hard to change narcissistic symptoms when by definition, narcissists tend to believe everything is everyone else's fault.

Not every controlling or selfish person is a narcissist. Not very narcissist is a controlling jerk. I have an uncle who is a diagnosed and confirmed grandiose narcissist, and he is a handful to be around, but he manages to respect boundaries and not control others. He does make sure everyone knows his opinion of who is at fault (never him) but he doesn't seek to control others. He is still exhausting to be around.

In the end, there is no way to know if this guy is has narcissistic personality disorder or not. There could be other explanations for his behavior. It sort of doesn't matter, because he is clearly out of line and no mental health condition is an excuse to be a jerk to others. Most of all, it is rarely a good idea to stay in a relationship on the basis of hoping the other person will change. It is better to figure out if someone can accept the person as they are now or not.
 
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