Recent content by arfie

i seem to get shit on even more often when i am mean and deceitful.

in my psychotherapy we called this, "ruminating." i believe i am rewriting the experience as i ruminate. i have wondered if it is a form of self-gaslighting. dunno if it is the same thing you are experiencing. just sharing. steadying support while you figure what it is for you.

i walked away from my child sex trafficking experience with "trauma induced amnesia." that was early to mid 70's. i googled the term to see if the term has translated to the 21st century psychobabble. the google ai told me the name has been changed to, "dissociative amnesia." i didn't bother...

hello bananabread. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. i've done several rounds. they fit a recurring theme throughout my recovery from child sex trafficking, they were/are as helpful as i decide to let them be. many of my worst therapy experiences...

the very words i was looking for. thank you. even my dog and chickens push on a daily basis. the kids? hub-a-lub? the neighbors? often i even push my own boundaries. "ahhhh. . . what the hey? i'm gonna tell that co-worker what i REALLY think of her youthfully tinted hair." sigh. . . choose...

people pleasing is nowhere on my list of problems and i STILL find setting and maintaining boundaries hard to do. some things are just plain hard. this is one of them. i find that hard things are easier when i let them be just plain hard. with that radical acceptance in place, it becomes easier...

i pretty much do what you've been doing and keep on doing, even when it doesn't feel like it's helping. alas, loneliness is an itchy bug. maybe more like an infestation of itchy bugs. i just keep plying remedies until the infestation passes.

hello paul. welcome to the forum. i swear by the psychotherapy value of my relationship with animals, but i am not so sure of the "ESA" business and it is a business. i entered the theory work of animal therapy while seeing eye dogs were the only officially registered animals in the federal...

hello jory lea. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. i noticed you made another post, but decided to respond to this one because it is more focused. i find that tackling my quirks one at a time heightens the odds of actual change. is it rude of me to...

hello again, sjin. welcome back. i know of tons of places/ways to pursue recovery, but long, detailed lists such as what you have posted here can be whelming. the odds of finding all that help in one stop is somewhere between difficult and impossible. unfortunately, there are no panaceas for...

that hard to describe something might have evolved into a cornerstone of my recovery. healing is an inside job. nobody can do it for me, not even the ones who are ready, willing and able. it would be great if i could have my own fairy godmother, too. no harm in wishing.

empathy, skin shedder. lately i have had the jimi hendrix song,"purple haze" stuck in my head. mix the color blue (democrat) and red (republican) and you have purple. with the current politics, "i'm acting funny and i don't know why. excuse while i kiss the sky." insert infamous guitar solo...

don't accuse me of experting, but as i understand it: in its natural state, hyper vigilance is a hardwired part of the survival instinct which heightens awareness and sensory perception. in a state of clear and present danger, it can be a literal life saver. if the natural vigilance is...

hello neve. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. personally, i believe the dreamer always has the truest interpretation of a dream, but bouncing possible interpretations can help with the sorting. i kept a dream journal for decades as a therapy tool for...

empathy, ka. this happens to me quite allot. my father wasn't on that list because of estrangement, but i routinely find myself using politics as an excuse to increase my social distances from people i have mixed emotions about. talismans and mantras are my most effective therapy tools for...